Chapter 19

[Yangzi Fried Rice: Boss, huge progress! Your brother messaged me and told me to go to his office after work today.]

[Yangzi Fried Rice: He's asking me out alone to add scenes, huh? Can this count as overtime pay?]

Shi Jihan, upon receiving the message: ?!

"What are you muttering about? I can't hear you." He automatically filtered out the glaring words "overtime pay," his gaze landing on "asking me out alone" and "find him after work." "Oh my god, it actually worked?"

No, Big Brother, how could you really fail to hold yourself back?

000 wept with joy: [Host, you really are the best! Even our rumor-based romance got the plot back on track. As expected of an all-powerful host!]

[ Ding. Task issued: Have Shen Qinghuai catch his husband meeting his white moonlight late at night. Reward: Malice Points +30. ]

30!!!

A fortune!!!

Shi Jihan hurriedly contacted Shen Qinghuai, who had gone on a business trip to a branch office that day, bombarding him with urgent calls: "Brother Huai, get here fast!"

By the time Shen Qinghuai rushed back from another city, it was already after work. It was Friday, and the employees had left the company cleanly; there were barely any people working overtime. Standing in the empty company lobby, he asked, "What happened?"

Shi Jihan grabbed him and urged repeatedly, "Come with me first. You'll know when we get there."

He dragged Shen Qinghuai into the elevator and, following 000's instructions, pressed the floor number. On the way straight to the president's office, he fiercely condemned, "I'm telling you, society's morals have gone downhill, people's hearts have turned rotten, decency has collapsed, and everything's a complete mess!"

Seeing how angry he was, Shen Qinghuai faintly sensed that something was wrong and grew somewhat flustered.

When Shi Jihan shoved open the office door with a bang and Shen Qinghuai saw the two heads pressed close together, his breathing caught.

The hand hanging at his side clenched into a fist, his nails digging into his palm.

Maintaining the last of his composure and dignity, he asked in a trembling voice, "You two... what are you doing?"

"Huh?"

The two heads turned around in unison.

Revealing a Bilibili video on the computer screen.

[An uploader teaches you to master the VLOOKUP Function in ten minutes and say goodbye to being a workplace newbie!]

Shi Bochuan cautiously said, "T-training our company employees in workplace skills?"

Otherwise, why would someone who did not even know how to set displays in ten-thousand units, use OCR text recognition, copy animations, and so on write "proficient in WPS and various software" on his résumé?

Zhou Zeyang looked at Shi Jihan as though he were his own father, tears streaming from his eyes like egg drop soup. He was only one leap away from throwing himself at him.

Help, why had he really come here to work overtime?!

Shen Qinghuai's expression gradually shifted from fury and grief to stunned bewilderment.

[ Ding. Task "catch husband meeting his white moonlight late at night" completed. Reward: Malice Points +30. ]

Shi Bochuan even waved the two newcomers over to look at Bilibili's viewing history. From Excel multidimensional tables to PowerPoint motion paths, it covered everything.

The sight instantly deflated Shi Jihan.

He had no such worldly desires, merely waiting for flowers to bloom.jpg

He turned to look at Shen Qinghuai's expression, only to find that the man had become quite interested and was dragging the scroll bar, wanting to take a closer look at how the motion paths were made. "How is this done? It's amazing."

"..."

So this was what qualified workhorses were like.

So thoroughly marinated that if they were made into beef and lamb skewers, they would definitely taste of cumin and chili.

Shi Bochuan spoke at length. "I noticed days ago that Xiaoyang's behavior was off. Sure enough, it was exactly as I thought."

Shi Jihan barely forced himself to perk up, waiting to hear what nonsense he could still spout. "How so?"

Shi Bochuan said, "I tested him just now. Xiaoyang has a real talent for marketing. If he's trained properly, he'll definitely become an asset to the company. But someone like him remained unknown, a nobody pushed to the edges of the company. He had ambition but no chance to rise, so he took the unconventional route and decided to make himself noticed in front of us, hoping to fight for a future."

He concluded with heartfelt sincerity, "How inspiring."

That directly silenced both Shi Jihan and 000.

The air froze into frozen tofu. Silence. Dead silence.

With the plot broken this badly, the white moonlight had instantly become an ambitious company employee. 000 seemed to see the stacks of disciplinary notices the Main System would slap onto it when it returned to the Unified Realm to report.

It did not understand. It had clearly completed every task properly, so why had the plot gone off course?

It felt wronged on behalf of its host, QAQ.

Zhou Zeyang broke the silence with a kitty-pointing-finger expression. "Huh? Are you talking about me?"

"Makes sense." Shen Qinghuai nodded, thoroughly agreeing with Shi Bochuan's deduction. "That explains everything all at once."

Then he said to Zhou Zeyang, "Of course we are. Achuan is very good at judging people. If he says you have talent, then you definitely do. How about this? Isn't Xiaohan's new clothing line about to be promoted? The two of you can work together."

Shi Jihan shouted repeatedly, "No, you guys—" Listen to me!

Zhou Zeyang lunged forward and covered his mouth, his eyes shining like searchlights. "Then do I get paid? Paid normally, not docked until there's only one coin left?" he asked shyly.

Shi Jihan rolled his eyes hard. "Mm! Mmmmmm!"

How dare you!!

Shi Bochuan became angry. "Who would dock your pay for no reason? Isn't that workplace bullying? That's simply immoral and shameless. Don't worry. Once you work with us, no one will dare treat you like that. If you do well, there'll be bonuses and commissions too. Even company shares aren't out of the question."

"President Shi!" Zhou Zeyang immediately planted a kiss on him. "Let's watch a few more useful videos. I'm filled with motivation to work overtime now!"

[I'm filled with motivation to die!] Shi Jihan let out a soul-deep roar at 000. [Is something wrong with your task evaluation standards? Did the system catch a virus? Otherwise, how could the plot possibly go this off course?!]

000 said aggrievedly: [I'm a high-dimensional intelligent machine. How could something possibly be wrong with me?]

Shi Jihan was certain beyond doubt: [It's absolutely your problem. I'm sending you back for repairs right now.]

When faced with trouble, he never agonized over himself. He never asked what he had done wrong, only why others had done what they did.

Although 000 was heartbroken at being misunderstood, it still tried hard to comfort its host: [It's fine. It hasn't completely collapsed yet. As long as those two don't move the century wedding of the HE ending up to now and butterfly away the three hundred thousand words of wife-chasing crematorium in the middle, we can still be saved.]

Shi Jihan regained the strength to make money. [Fine. So what should we do now?]

000: [...]

000: [Go collect the administrative penalty notice from the Main System.]

Shi Jihan: .

After returning home, he sorrowfully ordered seven or eight takeout meals. Without even using an inflated-value coupon, he decided, with the despairing fury of someone who had given up on life, to drown himself in spicy hotpot.

He really knew how to pick a way to die.

After the two days of the weekend, he had nearly talked himself through it. He figured it was fine—if the east was dark, the west would shine; the coffin lid was honestly pretty bright too.

Then, when he went to work on Monday, he saw Zhou Zeyang sitting across from his workstation.

Shi Jihan: Not hehe.

Still brimming with enthusiasm that had not yet been marinated by the eight-a.m. workday, Zhou Zeyang greeted him, "Xiaohan, good morning."

Shi Jihan fiercely condemned: [Listen to that. He doesn't even call me boss anymore.]

000: [After all, you two now serve the same master.]

[If you don't know how to use idioms, shut up.]

Zhou Zeyang leaned closer. "Brother Huai told me to work with you on the promotion plan and said I should cooperate with you fully. Can I take a look at your new designs first?"

A month after Carbohydrate Rhapsody, the prolific Shi Jihan had once again brought the fashion world a pile of garbage.

The Going to Work Is Like Attending a Funeral collection.

He sent the fashion sketches to Zhou Zeyang.

In the first one, the model wore a shroud suit printed with corporate slogans. "Wolf Culture," "Flexible Working Hours," and "Flat Management" bound the person tightly. He carried a camp bed on his back and clutched a neck pillow emblazoned with "Get Rich Soon," his dark-ringed eyes staring hollowly into the camera.

In the second, an elaborate, heavy European-style layered skirt was made from sheets of edible coloring paper. Every sheet was covered in pie charts drawn by the boss, weighing the model down completely. It was truly the art of a paper dress made of pie-eating.

The accessories included earrings made from toilet paper rolls reading "I'll just say a few words," a full five meters of pointless speech drafts—the boss's one-man revelry right before the end of the workday.

There were also PowerPoint laser scrolling trench coats, dresses strung together from coffee capsules, and more. Even the accessories had been designed: merit wooden-fish hats, "Seen but No Reply" masks, tombstone briefcases, funeral-wreath headphones, and graveyard high heels.

Zhou Zeyang was astonished. "Don't you ever hit a creative block?"

"I used to," Shi Jihan said, slumped in his chair and staring gloomily at the ceiling. "Then I worked for a few months, and it disappeared."

Zhou Zeyang immediately felt a bond of mutual understanding. Knowing that the boss's younger brother suffered just as miserably as he did, he felt at ease. "Do you already have a promotion plan? This time, we'll join forces and make President Shi's advertising budget worth every penny."

-

Shi Group's new clothing line soon hit the market again.

Zhou Jingcheng did not need to make a special effort to ask around about the news; people kept bringing it to his ears. The people passing on the information all gave him strange looks, but whenever Zhou Jingcheng asked about it, they laughed it off and refused to say why, wearing expressions that said, "You know."

Turn all you riddle-speakers into red bean paste. Zhou-brand red bean buns smiled kindly.

That day, he finally found time amid his business war with Harlan and asked Secretary Sun what was going on.

Secretary Sun showed him Shi Group's new clothing campaign. "It's the result of Young Master Shi's collaboration with the newcomer. It made the trending searches again. Please take a look."

Zhou Jingcheng randomly clicked on a link. It was a co-branded advertisement for the clothing and a new-energy electric car.

Wait, what? With a new-energy electric car?

He clicked play. In the commercial, the female lead raced through a subway station with her skirt lifted. Her life-saving battle gown, strung from coffee capsules, clattered loudly. The concentrated coffee hidden in her high heels seeped out with every step, becoming overtime fuel. "Not enough fuel, not enough power—what do we do?"

The female lead opened a capsule on the spot, poured it into her shoe, and shook it wildly. Planting one foot on the ground, she held up the shoe and recited the slogan: "DC fast charging, rapid energy replenishment, long-lasting range."