Page 27

[Ding, Malice Points +0.17]

Shi Jihan exported some review-approved clips full of ambiguous tension and explosive sexual chemistry, then couldn't help praising him again. "You know how to pick. You picked well."

"But I have to ask—which side are you on? Yesterday, you were helping Big Brother torment me."

Zhou Jingcheng spread his hands. "Does this even need sides? Taking ten thousand steps back, I'm just here for the show."

Shi Jihan grabbed him. "No, taking ten thousand steps back is exhausting. Just stand here and talk."

"You care about me?" Zhou Jingcheng lowered his head against the light and leaned in with a smile. "I'm so touched."

The editor-in-chief's face went cold: So you two only pick up each other's jokes and not each other's logic?

Absolute lunatics. There were actually two such lunatics. Gold miners were going to make a fortune.

She took the script Shi Jihan handed her and skimmed it.

The aloof, beautiful designer, dissatisfied with her husband's indifference after marriage, demanded a divorce and offered to leave with nothing. Yet her husband cornered her in the bedroom, forcing her back step by step.

A scorching hand perfectly fit the trembling curve of the designer's waist beneath his shirt. The husband lowered his head and chuckled beside the designer's ear, his voice hoarse. "Divorce? Shen Qinghuai, I really ought to fuck you to death."

Holy shit, that was kind of hot.

These two had good taste.

Though President Shi and Designer Shen were going to lose their minds.

But before that...

The editor-in-chief smiled at Shi Jihan and pushed over another row of clothes. "Young Master Shi, you didn't think we were only shooting one collection today, did you?"

Shi Jihan looked at the familiar instant-noodle bodysuit, cabbage sweater, and other familiar outfits, terror flashing in his eyes. "Wait! What are you doing?"

"No, no! Zhou Jingcheng, save me!"

Zhou Jingcheng watched him get dragged away with his arms stretched out like Erkang's, pity in his eyes. He said to the editor-in-chief, "Add more beef decorations to the instant noodles. Young Master Shi will be happier."

Shi Jihan: "..."

Shi Jihan: I #￥%*$&E@!!!

Shen Qinghuai got up early that day. After sleeping well all night, he felt refreshed and energized.

He and Shi Bochuan received the original photos sent by NEXUS's editor-in-chief at the same time. Both were extremely satisfied with yesterday's shoot, and they held an important discussion regarding that lump of cilantro beef instant noodles curled up in the corner, leaving behind precious images.

The two happily ate breakfast and went to work, deciding to celebrate properly that night after finally clawing back a win.

On the way to the office, Shi Bochuan held it in and held it in, but finally couldn't anymore. "Am I running around naked today? Why does everyone who passes by blush and smile at me?"

Shen Qinghuai said, "Maybe payday's coming up. Everyone's happy."

Shi Bochuan thought that made sense. He pulled Shen Qinghuai into his office to discuss where they could go that night to celebrate without Shi Jihan knowing.

Seeing the president's office door close, the entire floor fell silent for two seconds.

"Ooh—"

Then came knowing cheers.

Shi Bochuan had no idea what was happening outside. In a very good mood, he made two cups of coffee, handed one to Shen Qinghuai, then sat down in his executive chair and casually opened the company website to look at the promotional cover photo of his third brother. Smiling, he said, "Third Brother seemed pretty shaken yesterday. He still hasn't gotten up toda—"

Before he could finish the word "today," he sprayed out a mouthful of coffee.

He gave the computer a hot coffee bath.

"Pfft—cough, cough, cough!"

With his excellent dynamic vision, Shi Bochuan caught the words scrolling across the suit. He choked until his face turned red and stared in disbelief. "W-what is this stuff?!"

Coffee ran down the screen, activating the heated touchscreen computer's function and making it automatically read the text aloud:

"Shi Bochuan pinned him against the wall and laughed hoarsely. 'Divorce? Shen Qinghuai, I really ought to fuck you to death.'"

"Pfft—" Shen Qinghuai followed suit and gave the computer another bath.

The office had been transformed into a bathhouse.

Coffee seeped into the computer. The screen flickered, then began looping, "Divorce? Shen Qinghuai, I really ought to fuck you to death."

"Divorce? Shen Qinghuai, I really ought to fuck you to death."

"Divorce? Shen Qinghuai, I really ought to fuck you to death."

"Shi Bochuan! Turn it off!!"

Face red, Shen Qinghuai lunged forward with a shout and slammed his hands against the keyboard over and over, trying to stop it.

It did absolutely nothing. Furious, he slapped the computer. "Shut up!!"

The computer spun 180 degrees on its data cable. The screen crackled and flickered, leaving behind its dying words: "...fuck...you...to death."

Shi Bochuan curled up in his leather executive chair, watching his wife bully an elderly office worker with lingering fear. Thinking of something, his brow began to twitch wildly, and he quickly opened social media on his phone.

His and Shen Qinghuai's names were both on the trending list.

#ShiBochuanShenQinghuaiFanfiction#

It was followed by the character for "explosive," and its popularity had actually surpassed that of the hottest top idol.

Netizens had gotten their hands on the fresh gossip Shi Jihan had worked so hard to provide.

[Holy shit, Shi Jihan, you really know how to make things happen!]

[Ahhh, I can't do this anymore! The people I wrote about saw my novel!]

[Shi Jihan, your whole family needs to stay away from CP fans' lives!]

[Can you three pay for your own reality show? I want to see this melodramatic wealthy-family life every day.]

[I don't watch the entertainment industry anymore, and I don't follow celebrities either. I just want to see what nonsense Shi Jihan comes up with next.]

One netizen's comment had been pushed to the top.

[@Shi Bochuan @Shen Qinghuai, why did you two have to provoke him? [candle]]

"..."

A deathly silence.

Shen Qinghuai looked at the hand he had used to slap the computer and muttered to himself, "Yeah. Why did I provoke him?"

How much did he have to hate his own life to do that?

The two looked at each other speechlessly and quietly died inside.

They regretted it so much. They were so despairing.

[Ding, accumulated Malice Points increased by 27.]

[Ding, mission "Guide public opinion to make Shen Qinghuai feel ashamed" completed. Reward: Malice Points +18.]

Half-awake, Shi Jihan heard the good news. Hugging his pillow, he rolled over, utterly comfortable and content.

This was how life should be. He could make money lying down.

Awesome.

He asked 000, [What's the latest you'll return to the Unified Realm to update the database?]

[By the end of the month at the latest. We perform maintenance once a month.]

"Then it'll be within the next few days." Shi Jihan sprang up. "Hurry, hurry, hurry! See if there are any plot mission points we can still latch onto, and do all of them!"

He was going to squeeze those ATMs dry.

000 flipped through the records and found that there really was one. [At the newcomer welcome party in two days, you will mock Shen Qinghuai in front of all employees by saying, "What the hell are you?" Then you will raise a bottle of red wine, pour its contents over Shen Qinghuai's head, and admire his embarrassed, pitiful state.]

[Listening to the discussion and criticism from others, including his own subordinates, Shen Qinghuai will bite his lower lip hard to keep himself from breaking down, protecting that fragile self-respect that has been trampled into the mud.]

Shi Jihan sighed. "Life has pounded Shen Qinghuai over and over until he became a basket of buns."

At least, the Shen Qinghuai in that description was completely unlike the Shen Qinghuai he interacted with every day.

000 asked, [Then how would you react in that situation, Host? Flip the table?]

Shi Jihan calmly replied, [That would be such a waste. I'd open my mouth and catch the wine. I'd even tell him to pour slower.]

The red wine rich people drank had to be insanely expensive.

He had to at least taste it.

000 replied, [6.]

It was utterly speechless.

But Shi Jihan was a little troubled. "Pouring red wine... that's not easy to pull off..."

[Is there anything you can't pull off?]

He said, "If I really did that, do you believe my big brother would turn me into a preserved-vegetable meat patty with three punches?"

There was a difference between courting death and courting a spectacular death.

000 asked, [So are we taking it?]

Shi Jihan gritted his teeth. [Taking it!]

Anyway, he would definitely find a way when death was right at his door.

That was the wisdom he had gained from rushing to finish homework at the deadline every summer and winter vacation.

On the day of the newcomer welcome party, the mission arrived right on schedule.

[Ding, mission issued: Pour red wine over Shen Qinghuai's head in public and destroy his faith. Reward: Malice Points +23.]

Three minutes after receiving the mission, a figure in ugly fish pajamas stood on tiptoe, skipping through a tiny dance of the four little swans. His legs moved rapidly as he silently slid toward the bedroom beside the third floor as though the floor were burning his feet. Carrying bells and a peachwood sword, he secretly slipped into Shi Bochuan and Shen Qinghuai's room at five in the morning.

Awakened—the hunt had begun!

Everyone still asleep was going to eat his fist.

The surveillance camera in the corner tilted slightly, looking at the unidentified creature in great confusion.

Shi Jihan covered the bell's clapper, held his breath, and placed his fingertips on the doorknob.

"Click."

The door opened.

It wasn't locked?

[Their security awareness is severely lacking.] He lowered his voice, full of disappointment. [Good thing there's a helpful Teacher Shi to teach them a lesson.]

000 took out a black blindfold, tied it around its eggshell, and lowered its voice as well. [Other than us, no one would do something like this, right?]

Also, [We're talking in our heads. Why are we whispering?]

[What do you know? It's more immersive when you're doing bad things.]

One person and one egg sneaked inside.

Behind the surveillance monitors, the guard on duty asked his companion, "What is the Third Young Master doing?"

His companion guessed, "He probably wants to give the Eldest Young Master and Mr. Shen a thoughtful morning wake-up service."

The guard nodded despite not understanding. "So thoughtful. I hope he can walk out intact later."

The bedroom door closed.

Shi Jihan's first reaction after entering was, [Damn, what a huge bed.]

It was so huge that he felt jealous. Wasn't this like putting a gold rim on a donkey's grindstone? You two only needed to roll around a little for show.

He was the Son of Heaven. Move aside and let him sleep.

Shi Jihan pulled the two of them apart and forcibly squeezed himself into the middle, taking out all the props he had prepared.

Especially the enormous sheet of reflective holographic paper he had specially customized online. He positioned it directly facing Shen Qinghuai.

After finishing, he stood on the bed, holding a bell and a brass gong. With a bang, he struck it and began performing a ritual dance. "Souls~ return~ home~!"