Shit, Fuck You

Sabaody Archipelago, Grove 21

"Cough, cough! After drifting on the sea for so long, I've finally reached the Sabaody Archipelago!" On a battered little wooden boat, Teach lay sprawled without a shred of dignity, gulping in the air.

He had lost count of how many dangers he had encountered along the way. If not for his formidable strength, he would probably have been thrown into the sea to feed the fish long ago!

Teach tidied up his appearance and changed into clean clothes. He left his black-haired chest bare, while his black coat bore an extremely conspicuous symbol—a skull with a streak of white beard!

"My top priority now is to get some proper rest, find a larger ship, and pick up a couple of crewmates. I don't want to do everything myself!" Teach muttered as he stepped onto Grove 21. His peculiar build made quite a few people struggle not to laugh, but after seeing the symbol on his clothes, those who had been mocking him looked like ducks with their throats squeezed shut. They hurriedly covered their mouths, staring at Teach in terror as he slowly walked away.

"That's the symbol of the Whitebeard Pirates?" "The strongest pirate crew among the Four Emperors!" "Their captain, Edward Newgate, also known as Whitebeard, is said to be the strongest man in the world!" "Why would someone from that pirate crew come here?" After Teach left, the crowd began discussing him animatedly. Many started worrying about their own safety, and some even sailed away immediately.

"Zehahaha! As expected of the Sabaody Archipelago!" Teach walked along the bustling streets, holding a small liquor flask and taking great interest in the scenery of Grove 21.

"Hey, you ugly bastard! How dare you block my path! Do you know who I am? Huh?" A drunken man barked at Teach without the slightest courtesy.

"Hm? Are you talking to me?" Teach turned to look at the man, making no effort to conceal the killing intent in his eyes.

"You—you want to do what? I'm warning you, I'm a member of the Chosen Pirates! Our captain's bounty is as high as 360 million berries. He's the Chosen One—Shit! He's the future Pirate King!" The man's voice began to tremble. In his eyes, Teach was practically a demon who could take his life at any moment!

Teach sneered. He had released only the slightest trace of Conqueror's Haki, yet the man before him was already trembling in both legs. It was obvious that their captain probably wasn't much of a powerhouse either.

But then again...

Teach glanced at the pirate in front of him. The trembling of his legs grew more and more intense. Anyone who didn't know better might have thought he was suffering from advanced Parkinson's.

Teach thought for a moment. Then his expression shifted into sycophantic flattery, and he said, "So you're an elite subordinate of the great Captain Shit! My name is Nima Bi. I wonder if you could introduce me to the Chosen Pirates? Please accept this small gift!"

Seeing the evil grin on Teach's face, the man trembled even harder. But then he realized what was happening: this man was trying to curry favor with him!

At that thought, his trembling legs steadied. He accepted the sack of berries Teach handed over and weighed it in his hand. He secretly rejoiced. What a haul! That'll buy me quite a lot of good liquor!

The man casually stuffed the berries into his pocket, then put on a solemn expression and said to Teach, "Congratulations on making the right choice! Our Chosen Pirates were already a famous crew on the Grand Line, and we'll definitely become one of the rulers of the New World in the future! Of course, as the crew of the future Pirate King, our recruitment standards are extremely strict! I can introduce you, but you'll have to pass our captain's test!"

Teach smiled. "Naturally! I have great confidence in my own strength! Then I'll have to thank you for your help, brother. I'll definitely repay you properly later!" He placed heavy emphasis on the words "repay you"...

"Repay me? Hmph, do I look like someone who's greedy for money?" The man put on a look of greed, then quickly composed himself. A moment later, he led Teach aboard their pirate ship. What he failed to notice was that Teach had faced him or followed behind him the entire time...

"Captain!" The man shouted the moment he stepped aboard. "Fuckyou! You'd better give me a reason for disturbing my nap! Otherwise, I'll throw you into the sea to feed the fish!"

A gloomy voice rang out. Then the so-called captain of the Chosen Pirates, the Chosen One—Shit—appeared before Teach.

"Captain, I didn't mean to disturb you! It's just that a newcomer admires your great reputation and wants to join our pirate crew!" It turned out that the man's name was Fuckyou...

Teach secretly grumbled, One Shit, one Fuckyou. What the hell? This ship is full of talents!

"Oh? We have a new member?" A glimmer appeared in Shit's gloomy eyes.

"That's right, Captain! Our Chosen Pirates are finally going to have a third member!" Fuckyou was extremely excited. Until now, he had been responsible for all the dirty and exhausting work. Now that a newcomer had arrived, his burden would naturally be much lighter!

"Y-young pirate, what's your name?" Shit looked at Teach's enormous body, his voice trembling slightly.

"Zehahaha! My name is Teach! You can call me Dad too!" Teach no longer needed to conceal his identity. He gazed at Shit, who called himself the Chosen One, with great interest.

"Dad? What a humble name!" Fuckyou murmured. Then confusion appeared on his face. "Weren't you called Nima Bi? How did you become Dad?"

But Shit's face had stiffened. He swallowed repeatedly, then spoke to Teach in a trembling voice. "Um, Lord Teach! We didn't mean to offend you! Please spare our lives!" With that, the mighty Captain Shit in Fuckyou's eyes slowly bent down and knelt on the ground.

"Oh? You know me?" Teach asked in surprise.

"I-I know! Your great name is as thunderous as thunder!" Cold sweat poured down Shit's head. In truth, he didn't know Teach, but he was a Paramecia-type Devil Fruit user who had eaten the Kansei Kanji no Mi. With his current strength, he could sense everything within a ten-meter radius, almost like having a god's-eye view. Naturally, that included Teach's coat!

"Captain, isn't he just a new pirate? Why are you..." Fuckyou asked, utterly baffled.

"Shut up! You kneel too, and beg this lord for forgiveness!" Shit snarled angrily. That damn drunkard! If not for him, I wouldn't have gotten into this mess!

Though Fuckyou was confused, he still trusted his captain and knelt on the ground.

"Zehahaha! I was going to play with you for a while!" Teach looked at Shit and slowly said, "Since your underling is curious, I'll introduce myself. My name is Marshall D. Teach! Vice-captain of the 2nd Division of the Whitebeard Pirates!"

Teach's words crashed into the two men's hearts like a massive hammer. In an instant, the cold sweat pouring from them completely soaked through their clothes.

But what the two men did next shocked Teach to his core! They shouted in unison, "Lord Teach, this was my fault! Kill me if you must! It has nothing to do with Fuckyou/the captain!"

Teach froze for a moment. Are these two really pirates?

The two men kneeling on the ground began arguing.

"Captain, you gave me this life! Besides, this was my mistake! Whether by reason or by sentiment, I should pay for it with my life!" "Bastard! How dare you disobey the captain's orders! I said this was my mistake, so it's my mistake! Lord Teach, please spare this foolish subordinate of mine!" "No!" "Shut up!"

Teach said with a headache, "What a pair of strange men! Get up. I never said I was going to take your lives!"

The air suddenly fell silent. The two men stared at Teach in disbelief, then shouted in unison, "Thank you for sparing our lives!"

"All right, all right! I'm curious—why would the two of you act like this?" Teach asked in confusion. Ever since he had left to train on his own, he had encountered quite a few ill-intentioned pirate crews. At the final moment, every one of them had cared only about saving their own lives. When had anyone ever cared about their companions?

"Lord Teach, it was like this..." Under Teach's watchful gaze, Shit slowly began telling him the story of the two of them...