First Hearing a Heart's Voice

"Your sister-in-law is pregnant!"

Shen Lantang froze for a moment, then cried out in delight, "Really? That's wonderful!"

Her brother and sister-in-law had been married for two years. It wasn't terribly long, but it wasn't short, either. Besides, Li Xinyi had already been twenty when she married. Though the family said nothing, they had been anxious. They just hadn't wanted to pressure her. Now that she was finally pregnant, how could they not be excited?

Shen Lantang's thoughts weren't as complicated as her mother's, but she was happy too.

Childbirth was dangerous for women under twenty. If Shen Lantang had her way, they would wait until twenty-three or twenty-four. But women in ancient times married and bore children young. She wasn't a god; she couldn't change the world. All she could do was hope the people she cared about gave birth a little later. Li Xinyi was twenty-two now, which wasn't too early.

"Where's my sister-in-law?"

"Your brother went with her to her family's home, so they could hear the news too."

"As they should," Shen Lantang said. "As they should."

After they finished talking, Shen Lantang said, "Mother, I'm going out for a stroll. I'll be back for lunch."

"All right. Go on."

Shen Lantang left the house. The Shen Family's neighborhood wasn't particularly fashionable. It was a middle-class area of Zhaojing, close to the markets. The convenience was nice, but it was hardly peaceful; the noise outside often carried into their home.

Shen Lantang took her maids with her. Many of the street vendors were familiar faces. Since she wanted to do business herself, she couldn't stay above it all in some lofty pavilion. She often went into the bustling markets to learn what she could.

No one else knew what she was up to. They only thought Lord Shen's daughter was exceptionally fond of a crowd. Though she had married and moved away months ago, everyone still remembered her. When they saw her, they called out:

"The young lady's back!"

"How have you been, young lady?"

As a daughter of the Shen Family, Shen Lantang had retained a certain innocence. Now that she was a wife in the Xie Family, she had to uphold their reputation in public. Her words and bearing had grown much more composed, giving her something of a married woman's air.

"Thank you for asking, aunties and uncles. I'm doing very well."

A vendor selling candied hawthorn clicked his tongue admiringly. "Marrying into a grand family really does make a difference. Just look how dignified she is."

Shen Lantang bought plenty of her favorite familiar snacks, along with gifts for the children at home. By the time she finished browsing, it was noon—just right for heading home to lunch.

Shen Father was at work, and her brother and sister-in-law were out. With only the two of them at home, it was rather lonely. But Lantang knew how to sweet-talk her mother, and Baozhu and Lan Xin played off each other like a comedy duo. They kept Shen Mother laughing, and lunch passed in no time.

After lunch, Shen Lantang took a nap at home. She wore the short-sleeved top and shorts she had made herself, her long legs sprawled out without a care. Bliss!

When Shen Lantang woke that afternoon, she had just yawned and was about to get out of bed to wash up when Baozhu ran in.

"Miss, the young master and young madam are back!"

When Shen Lantang reached the main hall, Shen Chang'an and Li Xinyi were directing the servants as they unloaded gifts from the carriage. Li Xinyi had visited her family, and naturally her mother had sent her back with plenty of food and other useful things.

"Brother, Sister-in-law, you're back."

Shen Lantang came across the courtyard with a smile. Li Xinyi's face brightened at the sight of her, and she was about to step forward when Shen Chang'an stopped directing the servants and hurried over to support her by the arm.

Shen Lantang's eye twitched. Honestly, look at him fussing over her.

"Sister-in-law, Mother told me the news. Congratulations to you both."

Li Xinyi smiled, pressing her lips together.

"And here's hoping I get a sweet, clever little nephew."

Li Xinyi knew Shen Lantang well. She wasn't especially fond of children; she only liked the well-behaved ones.

Shen Lantang stuck out her tongue. "You and Brother would benefit from that too!"

As they spoke, a maid came forward.

"Young master, young madam, what should we do with these talismans?"

Shen Lantang had become sensitive to the word "talisman." She asked at once, "What talismans?"

Her mother had given them to her, Li Xinyi explained. "She said they're Pregnancy-Safeguarding Talismans from the Mystic Temple. She wants me to drink one now and then to keep the baby safe. She'll go back to the temple to get more for me."

Shen Lantang's heart gave a heavy thump. Unease stirred in her, and she quickly asked:

"Pregnancy-Safeguarding Talismans from the Mystic Temple? Are they popular now?"

"I suppose so."

Li Xinyi didn't know much about them either. Neither she nor Shen Chang'an believed in Taoism. If her mother hadn't insisted on giving her the talismans before they left, they might not have known such things existed even after the baby was born.

A maid beside them spoke up. "I've heard lots of women who haven't conceived go to the Mystic Temple to pray for a child. If they become pregnant, they get these Pregnancy-Safeguarding Talismans too. People say they work very well."

Shen Lantang frowned, a flicker of revulsion passing through her. Whatever anyone else chose to do, she looked Li Xinyi in the eye and said earnestly:

"Talismans and incantations are all nonsense. Burn that paper and all you get is a bit of ash. There could be something even filthier in it, and plenty of pigments are poisonous. Don't drink it, and don't believe in it."

Even after saying that, she wasn't reassured. She snatched every talisman from the maid's hands.

The maid fell silent.

Li Xinyi neither revered nor opposed Taoism. She wasn't upset that Shen Lantang had taken the talismans. She only asked, "You think they're bad?"

"Of course they are."

"Bad for me to drink, or bad for anyone to drink?"

"...Never mind that. Just don't drink them. If your mother asks next time, tell her you did."

Seeing how anxious she was, Li Xinyi teased, "What if she wants me to drink one in front of her?"

"Then tell her you're full!" Shen Lantang declared.

"..."

"Brother, Sister-in-law, I have something to do, so I'll head back. I'll come see you again in a couple of days."

Shen Lantang was too unsettled to stay. She waved goodbye and left.

Li Xinyi stood at the doorway, thoughtful. After a moment, she turned to Shen Chang'an and said:

"Lantang really is different."