Chapter 9

"I... of course I pee standing up! I was just picking up money, that's all! A copper coin fell on the floor." With that, the young scholar sprang upright. Without another word, he lifted the hem of his robe and reached for his waistband, ready to pee like a man. But the gaze prickling at his back was impossible to ignore...

"Why... why are you still here? Are you planning to watch me pee?"

"I was planning to take a look."

"..."

"Go on. Pretend I'm not here."

"How am I supposed to pretend you're not here? You're staring right at my crotch! Do you know how much pressure that puts on me?"

"Relax. I'm not interested in men's measurements. I won't make any remarks about your size." He just wanted to see whether the boy was normal.

"I—I'm not used to someone watching me down there! I can't pee!"

"Then you'd better get used to it now. If you get into Dongxu Mansion, countless people will be watching you there. It only has communal latrines."

"...Why are you so annoying? What does it matter to you whether I pee standing up or squatting down? Is it worth a single copper coin to you? Two? I like peeing squatting, sitting, lying down—what are you going to do about it? What?" He whipped around in fury. Their eyes met, and neither had expected to see someone they knew—

"You?!" they exclaimed together.

Li Chenjing glared at the little brat before him, and the memory of that flirtatious love poem cast a shadow over his brow. When he had gone home that day, the thought of how his heart had raced while reading it had left him uneasy all over. Why had a love poem written for a man made his heart pound? He had only thought the brat talented, with a delicate touch to his writing.

Setting aside what had nearly happened that night, Li Chenjing arched his brows and asked, "What are you doing here?"

"Me? Taking the exam, of course! What about you?" Zhu Bafu blinked and tilted his head.

"Examiner," he replied tersely. The brat showed no embarrassment, no reaction at all, as though he had completely forgotten what had happened that night.

"...Does the exam include an inspection of the urinary

system

?"

"Not at the moment."

"Phew... Good."

"But if I feel like it, I can add one at any time."

"What?!" Was he determined to watch him pee, no matter what?

The brat's face turned the color of pig liver. His eyes darted this way and that until, at last, he yanked his waistband tight, sucked in his stomach, and roared boldly at Li Chenjing.

"A man may be killed, but never humiliated! This young master isn't peeing!"

Not peeing? Hah...

"As you please."

Author's note:

Something came up today, so the update is a little late~~~ I'll keep updating and make sure there's one chapter a day. Let's go!!

"..." As I please? I've already forced it all back in! This Prime Minister's Son was inhumane, testing a person's willpower for no reason—and at precisely its weakest point.

With a sweep of his sleeves, he stormed out of the latrine, leaving it to that important person.

After that chance encounter with the examiner in the latrine, Zhu Bafu knew his prospects were grim. Instead of finding a kindred spirit, he had made an enemy. He pushed open the door to the examination hall, and an icy gust seemed to blow down from the dais.

A Yuntai Desk stood across the raised dais. Behind it sat Li Chenjing, his eyes lowered and his expression composed. Dressed in a Dongxu Uniform edged in blue and purple, he looked every inch a man of distinction. Two solemn scrolls bearing a couplet hung high behind him.

The first line read: An enlightened ruler selects scholars; the second: Seeking worthy men to serve the nation.

The inscription across the top had been turned into a plaque hanging at the center of the hall. Four bold, square characters proclaimed: Seeking Excellence.

None of it felt like a joke anymore. Everything was so grave and solemn that one wrong move seemed enough to get her dragged off for beheading. She swallowed hard. Belated nerves set her trembling from head to toe, and she stood beneath the dais with her knees bent, hardly daring to raise her head.

A cool voice came from above.

"Sit."

She glanced back at the chair behind her, then shuffled over in tiny steps, hunched like a timid young wife. She felt for the seat and sank onto it, utterly deflated.

Li Chenjing opened the Roll Book and glanced at the person below. "Then let's begin. Zhu... Bafu?"

"Yes!"

"You don't need to stand to answer. Sit down."

"...Yes."

"You showed none of this composure when we met earlier." He gave a mocking little snort and rested his interlaced hands before his lips.

"Earlier... earlier, I had to go badly. I was flustered."

"Oh? Are you still holding it in?"

"How could I be? Do you take me for a fool? Who could hold it for two incense sticks? That would cause serious trouble."

His hand paused on the lid of his teacup. Raising a brow at the unsuspecting fellow below, he let a faint smile touch his lips and coaxed softly, "Where did you take care of it?"

"Hehe, in that lovely, fragrant peony bed by the corridor! I chased off all the butterflies and bees, hahaha! You know, latrines stink to high heaven. I was clever enough to find somewhere sweet-smelling, so I just..." She looked up, eyes shining, and met the icy gaze from the dais. Only then did she realize what she had said. Too late to stop, she could only blink innocently at the examiner.

"Just what?"

"...Uh..." She blinked, then blinked again. Please let me off. It's not easy for a girl to find somewhere to pee. Men can just stand in a corner and be done with it. Besides, if he hadn't driven me to the end of my rope, I'd never have stooped to ruining that elegant, fragrant flower bed...

"Speak."

"I just... happened to give those thirsty peonies a little homemade fertilizer..."