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Yes, if Father had not rashly spoken up for that useless young emperor with no real power, offending the Prime Minister, their family could still be swaggering around the Capital, right? They would not have to worry about food, clothing, firewood, rice, oil, salt, sauce, or vinegar; they would not have to scrape together silver everywhere; they would not have to endure the warmth and coldness of human nature from others; and they certainly would not have to sit down and seriously consider whether becoming someone's concubine would be better and less painful. By now, she would probably already have become his legal wife, with the only thing left to worry about being how to stop her husband from taking concubines or fooling around outside...

But what did that matter? Somehow, in the end, they had arrived at this step that no one had ever expected.

They had been engaged for a long time without ever opening their hearts to each other. If not for Father, given how petty and vengeful she was, she would never have contacted the man who had broken off their engagement. He was probably the same. For the sake of morality and peace of mind, he had taken special care of the impoverished siblings after breaking off the engagement, acting like a benefactor. Wasn't that enough? Why did he have to put on such a false show and insist on marrying her?

"Brother Li, to be honest, I don't like you acting this way. You haven't done anything to wrong me. Even if you have, it wasn't your responsibility alone. You've already repaid us enough—more than enough. You don't owe the Zhu Household anything anymore. So you don't need to keep acting like you're trying to make amends."

"A sanctimonious fool trying to clear his name? So that's all you think I am." He gave a wry laugh. "I admit that at first, I did help the Zhu Household repay you out of guilt..." When they had first become engaged, he had barely looked at her properly. Back then, he had thought she was merely an ordinary young lady from a prominent family. She had always kept her head lowered in front of him, and never said more than three sentences. The first was, "Hello, Brother Li." The second, "You came to see Father, didn't you?" The third, "Then I'll take my leave first." But...

"But it's not like that anymore." Unlike ordinary official ladies, she had not burst into tears after her family was confiscated, fallen into despair after the engagement was broken, or become absent-minded after falling into poverty. Instead... she had come alive as if a fish had slipped into water. In front of him, she revealed all kinds of expressions he had never seen before, wielded her brush and ink, lowered herself to earn silver and insist on repaying him; she frowned and stuck out her tongue, lamented how hard life was while refusing to accept his aid for free; she cursed her own father, saying he had studied himself stupid and knew only about the emperor, never thinking about his family.

Every time he saw her, he developed another thought he should not have had. She should have belonged to him. She should have lived with him as husband and wife, respecting one another. She should never have had to suffer. How had she come to treat him with such neither-far-nor-near, neither-cold-nor-warm distance? That day, he had merely spoken aloud the thoughts that had been circling endlessly through his mind. Who could have known that instead of drawing her even a little closer, he would make her avoid him as if fleeing for her life, to the point that she would no longer even exchange the most basic greetings with him?

"I don't want to be some kind of good person in your eyes. You can look down on me if you like, and just assume I want the bliss of having several wives and concubines. But, Fuer, I have no intention of giving up."

She wanted to say something harsh, but he cut her off first, as if he had long expected her not to spare his feelings. "I'll leave the silver here. If you don't want to use it, throw it away or put it aside—do as you please. Farewell."

What did he mean, throw it away or put it aside? If they didn't want it, then they didn't want it. She clenched the silver pouch and was just about to chase after Li Luyang, who had already walked out the gate in a huff, when Zhu Xiaojiu grabbed her hem tightly. "Don't chase him."

"Why not? Didn't we agree that we wouldn't accept the Li Household's charity?"

"Our backbone isn't strong enough for us to casually fall out with people yet. When you're beneath someone's roof, you have no choice but to bow your head. Don't forget, Brother Li also helped us rent this house. We do have to pay rent, but compared to the market price, you know what I mean."

"..." What good was pride? Why couldn't she just lose her memory and be done with it?

If she did not have the memories of being a young lady from the past, if she had never been engaged to Brother Li, if she had been a poor girl worried about food, clothing, firewood, rice, oil, salt, sauce, and vinegar from the very beginning, then she would not be concerned about the status of wife or concubine. She would not feel the imbalance and injustice in her heart, nor would she hear that a wealthy young master wanted to take her as a concubine and still gnaw on pickled vegetables while pretending to have enough dignity to refuse.

She ought to have willingly and gratefully prostrated herself at his feet and kowtowed to thank him for his favor, right?

Since she was beneath someone else's roof and had no choice but to bow her head, she might as well let the roof beam fall straight onto her head, ending everything once and for all. Then she could completely forget the past and no longer remember ever holding her head high...

Sleeping beneath someone else's roof, Zhu Bafu tossed and turned restlessly, playing with the silver Li Luyang had left behind. She simply could not bring herself to throw away such a waste of something precious. The silver's metallic gleam was reflected in her eyes by the candlelight, when the hard ingot suddenly opened its heavenly eye—

"Woman, there was no need for you to put on a brave front in the first place, was there?"

"Huh?"

"Not knowing how to soften yourself and make use of a man just means you're too stupid."

Why did this silver ingot's tone sound exactly like her younger brother, Zhu Xiaojiu? Had he been reincarnated as a silver spirit? Wait, no matter how hopeless she was, she could not be lectured by a silver ingot, could she? "...Hey! What gives you the right to call me stupid?"

"Because I'm the thing everyone under heaven loves most. People will do anything for me. They'll become concubines, enter brothels, accept official rank and wealth—even the emperor himself cannot do without me. In front of me, what are you pretending to be so pure and lofty for?"

"You... Why are you getting bigger and bigger?"

"To help you lose your memory."

W-what? Help her lose her memory? The silver in her hand suddenly grew without limit, becoming infinitely larger and taller. It smashed through the bed curtains, broke through the ceiling, and looked ready to shoot straight into the clouds...

"Hey!! This house doesn't belong to me! Don't recklessly destroy it! The roof beam... The roof beam is falling! Xiaojiu, Xiaojiu! The silver is going to kill someone! Run for your life!"

A heavy section of roof beam hung in midair before crashing straight down toward her forehead...

She was drenched in cold sweat and so terrified that she could not move. Her vision went black. All she heard was a deep thud beside her ear, followed by pain spreading throughout her entire body...

It hurt so much. She must have been flattened terribly... It had said it would help her lose her memory... Couldn't it have used a gentler method? She wasn't some demon who had cultivated into a spirit, yet it had really granted her wish by smashing her with a roof beam.

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Historical Romance

Woman Dressed as a Man