In One Piece: I Can Copy Any Talent

Noil picked up a huge piece of meat on the bone and stuffed it into his mouth.

Ugh... tastes awful.

Noil frowned. Mr. 9 noticed and hurriedly asked, "What's wrong, Mr. Noil?"

Noil waved it off. "Could taste better, but it'll do. Say, have you got any booze?"

Mr. 9's eyes lit up. "We do! I'll bring you some right away."

Mr. 9 ran out of the room and took a bottle his subordinate had already prepared.

The subordinate chuckled and pointed at the bottle. "It's been spiked. He'll sleep for a whole day!"

Mr. 9 nodded, malice in his voice. "This is his last meal!"

Mr. 9 brought the drink inside and watched Noil swallow it before finally leaving with his mind at ease.

After a while, Mr. 9 could no longer hear a sound from inside.

He gently pushed the door open and entered.

There was Noil, slumped over the table and fast asleep, his snores rising and falling.

Mr. 9 gave Noil a few nudges and called softly, "Mr. Noil? Noil?"

There was no response. At last, a triumphant smile spread across Mr. 9's face.

"Who in this sea can stay awake after a dose of sleeping powder?" Mr. 9 said with a confident grin.

As far as he was concerned, no matter how strong someone was, dirty tricks would get them in the end.

"Why does the boss want to promote you to my position? Because you've got a little brute strength?"

Mr. 9 shouted at the "sleeping" Noil. "The boss is a fool, too. Does he really think some green kid is better than me?"

"Once I kill you and dump you in the sea, you'll be nothing but a failure who never reached the Grand Line in the boss's eyes!"

Mr. 9 drew the short knife at his waist and cackled. Then he turned toward Noil on the table...

Huh? Where'd he go?!

While Mr. 9 had been busy ranting, the living, breathing man on the table had vanished.

Then his hand suddenly felt lighter. Someone had snatched away the short knife he was holding.

"So that's it. You people want to recruit me..."

The quiet voice came from behind him. Mr. 9's hair stood on end, and he whipped around.

Noil, who should have been drugged, was wide awake. He sat behind Mr. 9 as if he owned the place, watching him with amused eyes.

In his hand was the short knife he had just taken from Mr. 9.

Mr. 9 forced a nervous smile. "Mr. Noil, let me explain..."

Before he could finish, he whipped out the hand he had kept behind his back. It held a fistful of white powder.

But before he could throw it, Noil caught his wrist.

The sudden force sent the white powder flying straight into Mr. 9's own face!

Mr. 9 hit the floor with a splat. His eyelids grew heavy, and he pointed at Noil, stammering.

Before he could get a word out, his eyes closed and thunderous snores burst from him.

"That effective?" Noil stared at the fallen Mr. 9 in surprise.

Noil casually crushed the short knife in his hand, stretched, and pushed the door open without a care.

Creak—

The wooden door creaked softly in the silent night as Noil stepped outside.

Several gun bolts clicked. Noil looked up to find an endless crowd, all aiming their guns at him with hostile faces.

Noil looked at the bounty hunters and sighed. "The small fry are back to make themselves noticed..."

"But this time, I'm not in the mood to play."

Noil's smile faded. His pupils contracted slightly, and a powerful shock wave rippled through the air.

Conqueror's Haki!

The Nose-Picking Man Had a Death Wish

Boosted by Noil's Sovereign's Gift, his Conqueror's Haki had improved by leaps and bounds. He could now unleash it at will.

Conqueror's Haki swept through the crowd. Everyone it touched rolled their eyes back.

They fell like wheat before a scythe. The mob that had looked so fierce a moment ago was wiped out in an instant.

It really was the ultimate area-of-effect skill for clearing out grunts. No more wasting time on pointless fights.

With the enemies dealt with, Noil yawned and was about to go to sleep when his Observation Haki suddenly warned him again.

Noil gazed into the distance. More enemies?

At the far entrance to town, a man and a woman had just arrived when the remnants of Noil's Conqueror's Haki washed over them.

Their bodies trembled slightly under its pressure.

The man wore sunglasses and looked like a rock singer. Frowning, he said, "What was that power? Why did I suddenly feel afraid?"

The woman held a parasol and wore a hat and a short skirt. Her clothes bore a lemon pattern, and her whole outfit was lemon yellow.

"Me too. Did something happen in town?" She was smiling, but fear tinged her expression, making it look rather strange.

They were Mr. 5 and his partner, Miss Valentine, the senior Baroque agents Crocodile had sent to keep an eye on Noil.

"Come on. Let's take a look."

Mr. 5 led the way into town.

They had barely taken two steps before they saw people sprawled all over the ground.

Miss Valentine kicked someone away from her feet and pointed to a house in the distance. "They're all unconscious around that house."

Mr. 5 hurried over with a grave expression. As they drew closer, a tall young man came into view.

Noil studied the pair approaching him. They looked vaguely familiar.

Mr. 5 lowered his voice in an attempt to sound cool and asked, "Hey, kid. Who are you?"

Noil couldn't stand people who wore sunglasses, kept their hands in their pockets, and acted cool. "I'm your daddy!"

Mr. 5 stared blankly. What kind of language was that?

Whatever it meant, it couldn't have been anything nice.

Mr. 5's face darkened. "Kid, don't make me do this the hard way. Tell me what happened here."

Noil gave him a baffled look. "Isn't it obvious? I knocked them out!"

Mr. 5 and Miss Valentine froze, then burst out laughing. "You? Some brat who came out of nowhere?"

Their mockery did nothing to Noil. He merely looked at them as if they were idiots.

Were they trying to get themselves killed?

Noil said nothing more. He drew the Qingxing Blade in one fierce motion and drove its edge into the solid ground.

"Earth Dragon Flash!"

The hard earth split apart. A wave of sword energy swept toward Mr. 5 and Miss Valentine, carrying shattered stones with it.

Startled, Mr. 5 and Miss Valentine leaped in opposite directions.

Mr. 5 was fine, but a flying rock slammed into Miss Valentine's stomach, making her gasp in pain.

"You rotten brat!" Pain twisted Miss Valentine's pretty face. She spun her parasol and leaped above Noil's head.

"Weight change!" Miss Valentine called. She floated over Noil like a scrap of paper.

She proudly explained, "I ate the Kilo-Kilo Fruit. I can change my weight."

"Give up, kid, unless you want me to squash you flat!"

As he listened to Miss Valentine's threat, Noil put on a look of intense concentration and quietly admired the view.

Almost... just a little more...

Oh~

Noil let out a long breath of relief. He pointed confidently overhead and shouted at the skirt-wearing Miss Valentine floating above him, "Yellow stripes!"

Miss Valentine froze, then caught on. Her face flushed red as she screamed, "Die!"

"10,000 Kilogram Press!"

Her weight shot up in midair, and she plummeted toward Noil's head like a meteor.

Noil took his time. Just as she was about to hit him, he launched a Golden Hook kick and sent the heavy Miss Valentine flying.

That technique, that power—anyone who saw it would be left speechless.

Miss Valentine screamed as she flew backward. Mr. 5 stared in disbelief at his partner, who had gone down in a single blow.

Since when did she wear yellow stripes...

No, wait.

That brat took her out in an instant?

Mr. 5 immediately readied himself for battle.

He dug a booger from his nose, flicked it at Noil, and shouted, "Nose Fancy Cannon!"

Noil hurriedly twisted away from the disgusting booger. A small explosion erupted behind him.

Boom!

Noil's face darkened. He remembered now.

Mr. 5 had eaten the Bomb-Bomb Fruit. Any part of his body could become an explosive, including his boogers.

But that booger guy had dared throw something so disgusting at him. He was asking for it!

Seeing Noil dodge his attack, Mr. 5 dug out another booger and prepared to try again.

Before he was ready, the sole of a shoe flew into his field of vision.

Thud!

Noil's shoe planted itself squarely in Mr. 5's face.

Mr. 5 went flying backward, just like his partner.

But Noil wasn't done. He raised his fists, chased after Mr. 5, and pummeled him with a flurry of punches, cursing all the while:

"That's for picking your nose!"

"That's for throwing it at me!"

"And that's for acting cool!"

After Noil's full Return His Pretty Punch combo, the frail Mr. 5 passed out before he could even use his power again.

He was a disgrace to the Devil Fruit he had eaten.

Noil released Mr. 5 with a look of disdain, then shouted to the terrified Miss Valentine nearby, "Take your partner and get lost!"

"And tell your boss that if he wants to recruit me, he'd better offer me a position worth taking."

Only then did Miss Valentine remember why they had come.

The young man before her was their target.

Their boss had ordered them to deal with him personally if he refused to join.

But now...

Forget whether he joins. The two of us can't beat him anyway...

Miss Valentine wondered bitterly how their boss would punish them when they returned.

She didn't dare stay any longer. She ran over, helped Mr. 5 up, and fled with her tail between her legs.