Why Am I Such a Simp?

July 31, 6 p.m., Horror Amusement Park, Cihang City.

The heat had faded, and the setting sun warmed his shoulders.

Chen Feng woke on a bench in the park. The moment he opened his eyes, he saw an ugly monster as tall as a building staring at him with blood-red eyes.

Holy shit.

Even with Chen Feng's nerves of steel, he jolted. Only then did he realize it was a false alarm. The Red-Eyed Monster was just a giant inflatable doll.

That thing looks way too real.

Chen Feng stood and stretched. This body clearly wasn't his, yet controlling it felt completely natural.

The Incarnation System really was incredible.

A clear female voice sounded beside him. "Xiao Hu, you're awake! You suddenly fainted just now. You scared us half to death."

The scent of perfume reached him. Chen Feng narrowed his eyes. According to Liu Xiaohu's memories, the young woman with the side ponytail was Meng Chengcheng, a twenty-year-old Medium.

Mediums could commune with gods, spirits, and ghosts, commanding them to perform rites and help the living.

In plain language, they were practitioners who could speak to the dead and summon ghosts and gods.

Powerful people were welcome everywhere. Meng Chengcheng was also beautiful and full of energy. Her suitors could have lined up from one end of Cihang City to the other, and Liu Xiaohu was among them.

Though Meng Chengcheng was devoted to studying the mystic arts and had no interest in any damn love story, Liu Xiaohu firmly believed that if he kept buying her milk tea in autumn and sending her money on holidays, his goddess would eventually notice him.

Fuck!

Wasn't that a fucking simp?

The thought that his Incarnation belonged to someone so pathetic made Chen Feng want to throw up.

Seeing Chen Feng stay silent after waking, his expression shifting, Meng Chengcheng asked with concern, "Are you okay?"

His goddess had spoken to him first and asked after him. If Liu Xiaohu were still alive, he would have lunged at her like a dog spotting a bone.

Chen Feng, however, ignored her and started patting himself down. "Give me a second."

The most important thing now was to figure out which rule Liu Xiaohu had broken to get himself killed.

When I was looking through his memories, I'm sure Liu Xiaohu had a Visitor Guide on him.

Chen Feng looked down and found a colorful flyer on the ground:

[Dear visitors, welcome to Horror Amusement Park! We are committed to giving every visitor the scariest, most thrilling experience possible. For your safety, please follow the rules below. Otherwise, you will bear the consequences.

1. Do not throw away your Visitor Guide. Beware of anyone who does not have one.

2. New visitors receive one Game Coin upon entering the park. Game Coins are as precious as life itself and can be exchanged for exquisite souvenirs.

3. The amusement park has many exciting attractions. Experiencing them can earn you Game Coins. Visitors must try at least one attraction every day and experience at least half of the attractions before leaving the park.

4. Horror Amusement Park is open from 7 p.m. to 7 a.m. Outside operating hours, visitors may rest at the hotel in the center of the park. Its safety measures are absolutely reliable.

5. For the sake of other visitors' enjoyment, please do not experience an attraction more than once or reveal its contents to visitors who have not experienced it. Violators will be fined one Game Coin.

An amusement park is a place of joy. Crying is forbidden here!!! (This sentence was emphasized.)

Breaking any of the above rules may trigger unpredictable dangers or cause injuries of varying severity. Please follow the rules and avoid unnecessary accidents.]

A strange tale was a monster that killed according to a set of rules.

Clearly, this Visitor Guide contained the rules of this strange tale's territory.

Chen Feng tried to sort through Liu Xiaohu's memories.

The mission had begun when the organization found a survivor who had escaped Horror Amusement Park.

Others had escaped over the years, but he was the only one who had come out unharmed, sane, and healthy, even bringing back a souvenir.

The souvenir was a red-eyed monster doll.

After studying it, the organization discovered that if someone wrote their name on a slip of paper and placed it inside the doll, the doll would die in their place when they suffered a fatal attack.

Something that could save a person from death was indeed, as the rules said, as precious as life itself.

Liu Xiaohu's mission was to collect ten Game Coins, exchange them for a souvenir, and hand it over to the organization.

To please his goddess, Meng Chengcheng, Liu Xiaohu had secretly slipped the Game Coin he received upon entering the park into her bag, hoping to surprise her.

Then he died, giving his goddess a fright instead.

Chen Feng rubbed his forehead. Stupidity like that made him sick.

The Visitor Guide's second rule clearly stated that Game Coins were as precious as life itself.

Could you just give away something as precious as your life?

Simps deserve what they get.

Fortunately, Liu Xiaohu was already dead. Good riddance.

Once Chen Feng had worked it all out, he quietly retrieved the Game Coin from the bag. Then he said to Meng Chengcheng, "I'm fine. Where are the others?"

P.E.A.C.D carried out missions in five-person squads, so there should have been three other agents besides the two of them.

Meng Chengcheng raised a slender hand and pointed toward a lawn nearby. "They're over there smoking."

Following her finger, Chen Feng saw three people standing on the grass.

The handsome young man with his hair tied in a bun, a yellow Taoist robe, a Bagua Mirror hanging on his chest, and a Coin Sword slung across his back was Lin He. He was a Taoist and Liu Xiaohu's chief romantic rival.

Lin He had lost his entire family to an anomalous incident as a child. A Taoist temple had taken him in, and he had studied under a master, determined to one day wipe out every evil spirit in the world.

Both parents dead and a heaven-sent grudge. That's a textbook protagonist backstory.

You picked a fight with the protagonist over a woman, Xiao Hu. You really were asking to die.

Chen Feng looked at the second man.

He was a blond giant nearly two meters tall. Despite the summer heat, he wore a black pastor's robe with bulging pockets, and a cross hung from a silver chain around his neck.

Haman was a Pastor, but he smoked, drank, got perms, gambled, and indulged in every vice. He often asked Liu Xiaohu for loans, but Liu Xiaohu always refused.

The last man was middle-aged, with eyes sharp as a hawk's and a scar across his face. His name was Wu Changshan. He was an Exorcist and the squad's captain.

"An Exorcist, a Pastor, a Medium, and a Taoist."

Chen Feng got the picture.

Everyone on this team had formidable skills.

P.E.A.C.D ranked agents by the number of monsters they had eliminated, from lowest to highest: D (1), C (10), B (100), A (1,000), and S (10,000).

Captain Wu was a Class B Agent. The Pastor was a step behind at Class C, while Meng Chengcheng and Lin He were both Class D.

Liu Xiaohu alone had no rank at all. He had never even killed a chicken, let alone a monster.

By rights, a nobody like Liu Xiaohu had no business taking this mission. But to stick close to his goddess, he had quietly paid off the higher-ups.

The supervisor who assigned the mission had been baffled.

After all, nine out of ten agents sent to Horror Amusement Park never came back. Working there was like carrying your head under your arm.

Everyone else avoided the place at all costs. Liu Xiaohu, on the other hand, had paid to go.

Never seen anyone so eager to get themselves killed.

I've never had a request like this in my life.

So the supervisor stamped his approval, and Liu Xiaohu made it onto the team.