I'll beat you until you cough up your guts

At the Senju compound.

"I heard you have the power to bring people back to life?" Tobirama and Dave sat facing each other. Tobirama was the first to speak.

Indeed, Madara had told Hashirama about it yesterday, and Hashirama had hugged Dave, loudly proclaiming him the hope of the Senju's future. Hashirama was overjoyed, too. Why was Madara so gloomy now? Why was he so desperate to kill Hashirama's little brother? Wasn't it because his little brother had killed Madara's little brother? If Izuna really could be resurrected someday, Madara could finally let go of that burden. Hehehe, then I'll dump the Hokage position on someone else and go out having fun with Madara every day.

Hahahahaha! The more Hashirama thought about it, the more excited he became. He wanted to do it right away! He was already imagining their happy life together. Madara and I... sunrises and sunsets... dance-offs... meals... traveling... sleeping... hehehe, hahahahaha! Hashirama's creepy grin sent shivers through both Dave and Madara.

He promptly issued Madara a permit to leave the village. Madara also asked Tobirama for a kunai inscribed with the Flying Thunder God Formula so he could return in time for his afternoon dance-offs with Hashirama. Tobirama learned what had happened from Hashirama and hurried to find Dave, even setting aside his current experiments.

"I don't know. All I can say is that I have a feeling," Dave said, shaking his head. He genuinely wasn't sure. Yet even that tiny possibility had made Madara ecstatic. It showed just how deeply Madara cared about his little brother, Izuna.

"Hmph. From now on, stay away from everyone in the Uchiha Clan, especially Madara Uchiha. That little girl Tsukimi is an exception. She does seem quite nice."

Then Tobirama explained to Dave in exhaustive detail how Madara was evil, rotten, gloomy, vile, and every other negative adjective he could muster. He also went into great detail about how the Uchiha Clan was an inherently evil, rotten, gloomy, vile clan that deserved extermination above all others, especially its current leader, Madara Uchiha, who supposedly did this and that... raping women over seventy, bullying three-year-olds. He truly stopped at nothing to change Dave's opinion of Madara...

Watching his old man ramble on, Dave honestly thought that if Tobirama had lived in his previous world, he would have been the leader of a pyramid scheme at the very least. After listening for so long, Dave felt dizzy...

By the next day, Tobirama and Dave had finished their second all-night father-and-son talk since acknowledging each other. Dave had no idea how he'd survived the night... Only one phrase kept echoing through his mind... The evil Uchiha...

When his old man brought him to school with Flying Thunder God, Dave saw Tsukimi gazing at him tenderly. Fuck that evil Uchiha bullshit. I almost got brainwashed.

"Tsukimi, don't say anything. Let me sleep a bit... He's fucking inhuman..." Duy walked over to Tsukimi, kissed her little cheek, then lay down in her lap and promptly began snoring...

Tsukimi looked down at Dave in her lap, feeling the dampness on her cheek, and smiled tenderly. The dark circles beneath his eyes made her heart ache, and she reached out with her two soft little hands to gently massage his face.

Watching from nearby, Hiruzen nearly died of jealousy...

He still remembered the conversation he'd had with his father the night before.

"Father, arrange an engagement for me, too! I absolutely won't object!"

"...It wouldn't matter if you did... I asked around the clan before, but nobody wanted to get engaged to you."

"Nani? Impossible! Father! Absolutely impossible! I'm so handsome, and so talented! How could nobody want to get engaged to me?"

"I'm puzzled, too. Look at how handsome your father is. You're my son, so you shouldn't be bad-looking. Why wouldn't anyone want you?"

The whole affair ended with Hiruzen's mother giving both of them a one-sided thrashing... She sternly told Hiruzen not to go ruining the lives of the clan's girls at his young age. Hiruzen was so angry that he decided to skip dinner! A hunger strike! That earned him a joint beating from both parents.

"We won't have lessons today. Instead, we'll have an assessment to see how much you've learned over the past six months," Tobirama said as he walked up to the lectern. He saw his son sleeping but said nothing. After all, they'd talked all night without sleeping. He could handle it, but how could a six-year-old like Dave?

Let him sleep a little longer. I'll put his assessment last.

At the training ground.

Dave was still sleeping peacefully in Tsukimi's lap. Earlier, Tsukimi had called her little brother Kagami over to help her carry Dave outside... Kagami watched with envy... He envied his brother-in-law's luck in having his sister love him so much. Even he, her own little brother, had never received that kind of treatment...

"First match: Hiruzen Sarutobi versus Shimura Danzō," Tobirama announced slowly, standing in the middle of the field and looking at the children around him.

"Danzo!!" "Hiruzen!!!"

The two buddies stepped onto the field with impassioned cries...

"Come on, Hiruzen. Let's see whether you've improved lately!" Danzo said coldly.

"Heh, Danzo, you're in for a surprise!" Hiruzen curled his lip disdainfully.

Then the two began fighting. There wasn't much worth describing. At this point, they were just two amateurs flailing at each other, trading punches and kicks. At most, Hiruzen used the Three Body Technique and one C-rank Fire Release Ninjutsu, only for Danzo to catch him with a dirty trick. Yep, Danzo won.

"Danzo!! I'll never admit defeat! I'll beat you next time!" Sigh... Who knew what kind of Konoha tradition this was... All that shouting, and so little skill...

"Danzo wins. Next match: Torifu Akimichi versus Mitokado Homura."

There was even less to say about this match. The chubby little Torifu Akimichi gave Mitokado Homura a one-sided beating. Homura came from a civilian family and had only just begun training his chakra. How could he beat someone from a ninja clan?

After several matches, it was Tsukimi's turn.

"Next match: Tsukimi Uchiha versus Hyuga Nissei," Tobirama continued. His hands kept busily writing notes. He was a conscientious teacher, and after a few matches, he easily identified the strengths and weaknesses of both the winners and losers. He wrote them down for later review, considering what changes he should make to his teaching methods.

"The Uchiha Clan? Hmph, the Hyuga Clan is the strongest in Konoha. You'd better surrender now." Cataract Boy opened with a barrage of mockery...

"H-hello... I... I won't surrender!" Tsukimi was a little nervous. She was still a member of the Uchiha Clan, after all. Though gentle by nature, she had a stubborn streak deep down...

"Hmph. All you do is lovey-dovey stuff with that useless Dave all day. What skills could you possibly have? You'd be better off surrendering now." Cataract Boy snorted twice, his taunts dripping with disdain.

Kid, you're really backing yourself into a corner...

Tobirama frowned when he heard what the brat said. I'm Dave's father, and I'm standing right here. You still dare say that? Aren't you afraid your teacher will make life difficult for you later?

Hiruzen, Danzo, and Kagami frowned as well. Does this Cataract Boy have a death wish? Duy's buddies and his brother-in-law are right here. Are you asking to die?

"What did you say? I won't let you insult Dave!" Tsukimi froze for a moment, then her eyes suddenly widened. Her pupils turned crimson, with a single tomoe revolving within each. Her Sharingan awakened.

An uproar swept through the crowd. Her Sharingan had awakened just like that??? Tobirama was dumbfounded, too. Tsukimi, my future Daughter-in-law, is this powerful? I don't remember Madara awakening his eyes this young. Madara, you really are useless!

"...Hmph! So what if you've awakened your Sharingan? The Byakugan is the strongest! Take this!" Cataract Boy was startled, too, but he steadied himself and lunged forward.

Kunai in hand, Tsukimi engaged him. Perhaps because her Sharingan had only just awakened and she wasn't used to it yet, and because she hadn't paid much attention to training in the first place, her opponent soon found an opening and sent her flying with a palm strike.

"Cough, cough... I... I won't let you insult Dave." Tsukimi slowly rose from the ground, a trickle of blood running from the corner of her mouth.

"Surrender. You can't beat me. My Gentle Fist has already blocked your chakra pathways. You can't even use chakra now," Cataract Boy said with a displeased frown.

"I won't surrender!! This is for Dave!" Tsukimi forced herself to endure the discomfort coursing through her body and charged at Cataract Boy.

Cataract Boy sent her flying with another palm strike without even sparing her a glance. Tsukimi was knocked several meters away, but even then, she stubbornly forced herself to stand, another trail of blood flowing from her mouth.

"Enough. Hyuga Nissei wins. This match is over," Tobirama said, appearing on the field to stop the fight from continuing.

"Brother-in-law! Brother-in-law! Wake up! My sister's been beaten!!" Seeing this, Kagami hurriedly shook Dave, who was sleeping soundly in his lap.

"What did you say? Tsukimi's been beaten?" Dave's eyes snapped open, and he demanded an answer with a vicious glare.

Frightened by the look in Dave's eyes, Kagami quickly pointed toward the field.

Dave got up and looked down at the field, where he saw Tsukimi covered in dust, blood running from the corner of her mouth. He immediately rushed over and gathered her into his arms.

"Tsukimi, are you all right?" Dave asked, looking at her in his arms with an aching heart. He couldn't cherish his wife enough, and someone had dared hit her?

"I'm fine, Dave. It's just a little injury," Tsukimi said, smiling and shaking her head.

"Kagami, call the hospital and have someone come check on her," Dave said, looking up at Kagami in the stands without saying anything else. Kagami hurriedly nodded, came down to the field, and took his sister from Dave's arms. He staggered back to the spectator seats with her and called the hospital.

Tobirama simply watched Dave without saying anything.

"You're the one who hit her, right?" Dave asked, turning his face halfway toward Hyuga Nissei behind him.

"Hmph. I did. So what?"

"Fine. You beat Tsukimi until she coughed up blood. I'll beat you until you cough up your guts."