Tobirama and Izuna's blind-date adventures

"Right, it's settled. I'll arrange it for Izuna. Tomorrow—oh, no, this afternoon! Come to the Square Dance area in East Konoha, and I'll set you up on a blind date!" Mito said with a smile after she and Madara had discussed dozens of candidates.

"Uh... Mito... couldn't we just forget about it...?" Izuna said with a strained smile...

"No. On this matter, you're listening to your big brother. Our third and fourth brothers died young, and I'm getting old myself. The task of carrying on the Uchiha bloodline falls to you!" Madara said coldly from beside him.

He could defer to his little brother on anything, but not this!

"Pfft! Hahahaha!" Seeing Izuna's expression, as though he had just eaten shit, Tobirama finally lost control and burst out laughing.

"What are you laughing at? You're coming with me this afternoon too!" Mito's gaze instantly sharpened as she turned toward Tobirama and spoke sternly.

"...Do I really have to, sister-in-law...?" Tobirama's expression immediately became just like Izuna's as he spoke with a bitter smile...

"No way. Look at yourself—you're already thirty! Do you know what we call someone like you back where I'm from? An aging bachelor! You'd even be late to a shit buffet. You should be grateful I can find any women for you at all! Dave, you wouldn't mind having another Mom, would you?" Mito said mercilessly, sparing no thought for Tobirama's pride. Then, remembering Dave, she turned to him with a gentle expression. She still had to consider his feelings. After all, what if he couldn't accept suddenly having a Mom?

You mind! Tell her you mind! Tobirama kept shooting meaningful looks at Dave.

"I don't mind. It'd be good for Father to find someone to look after him. Why would I mind?" Dave said, shaking his head. Why would he care? Those things had never bothered him. Having lived two lives, he had seen plenty. Why would something like this bother him?

Tobirama looked as though he had eaten shit... All these days I've spent raising you were wasted, Dave... Izuna laughed without a shred of sympathy... As long as Tobirama was miserable, he was happy.

The meal ended with Madara, Mito, and Hashirama chatting among themselves...

That afternoon, in East Konoha.

The two lonely bachelors, Tobirama and Izuna, squatted beneath a tree outside a restaurant, looking utterly miserable...

"Look what you've done, you detestable, evil Uchiha Izuna. Why did you have to drag me along on your blind date? I still have plenty of experiments to do," Tobirama snapped angrily at his fellow sufferer beside him.

"How is this my fault? My brother forced me to come too, all right? Besides, you're this old and still single? Is something not working down there, so nobody wants you?" Izuna retorted with an eye roll.

"Uchiha Izuna!!! Do you want to die again?!"

"Tobirama Senju!!! Come at me if you've got the fucking guts!!"

Both men instantly exploded, trading blows outside the restaurant with a series of thuds.

"Hello, are you Uchiha Izuna?" "Hello, are you Tobirama Senju?"

Just then, two women slowly approached from beside the restaurant, one black-haired and one blonde, one plump and one slim. They called out to the two men, who were still fighting.

"Uh, hello. I'm Uchiha Izuna." Izuna hurriedly got up, brushed the dust off himself, and smiled at the woman who had greeted him.

"H-hello... my name is Yui Nara." At the sight of the handsome, aloof man before her, Yui Nara forgot everything she had planned to say and introduced herself with a deep blush.

Over on Tobirama's side.

"Hello, are you Tobirama Senju?" The plump blonde woman walked up to Tobirama and asked. She was sizing him up as well. Hmm, he's quite handsome too.

"Uh... h-hello... I'm Tobirama Senju..." Looking at the blonde woman in front of him, who weighed at least 176 pounds, Tobirama mentally cursed Madara Uchiha's mother a hundred times. He had no choice... He didn't dare curse Mito... Hashirama was his own elder brother... That left only Madara...

Tobirama turned to look at Uchiha Izuna, who was chatting with the black-haired girl, and proceeded to curse eighteen generations of Izuna and Madara's ancestors as well.

Why the fuck does Izuna get such a pretty woman for his blind date, while I get... this? Is this a joke?

The two pairs entered the restaurant behind them, taking seats across an aisle from each other.

"My hobbies are flower arranging and Square Dance. What about yours?" After sitting down, Yui Nara smiled at Izuna with a blush and spoke first.

"Pfft! Hahaha... could you say that again?" Izuna's attention had remained fixed on Tobirama. Seeing Tobirama's blind date, he laughed without a shred of sympathy.

"I said! My hobbies are illustration and Square Dance! What about yours?" Yui Nara was starting to feel annoyed. Is this handsome guy hard of hearing?

"Me? I like—pfft, hahaha!!!" Izuna had just started to answer when he seemed to spot something and burst out laughing again.

Smack! Unable to stand it any longer, Yui Nara slapped Izuna, turned around, and left. He was far too disrespectful. She had thought this handsome man would be nice, but he turned out to be an idiot who did nothing but laugh.

"..." Izuna stared, dumbfounded... Why hit me? Even if things don't work out, we can still be civil... Did she really have to slap my face...?

"Hahahaha!" A second later, however, Izuna recovered and resumed laughing.

Back on Tobirama's side, from the beginning.

"We're not right for each other. You're too ugly and too fat. I'm not interested. All right, let's just finish our meal and leave it at that. No need to contact each other again." Tobirama was blunt to a fault and spoke without holding anything back, paying no attention to the woman's increasingly dark expression.

The blonde woman couldn't take it anymore either. She picked up the water that had just been served, splashed it over Tobirama, and turned to leave. That was precisely the scene that had made Izuna burst out laughing...

"What are you laughing at?" Tobirama asked Izuna as he wiped the water from his face.

"Hahaha!" Looking at Tobirama's drenched face, Izuna kept laughing.

"You!... Hahahaha..." Furious, Tobirama was about to curse Izuna's entire family when he spotted the handprint on Izuna's cheek and burst out laughing too.

The two stared at each other and roared with laughter.

After they had worn themselves out laughing.

"Izuna, that slap sure was loud," Tobirama mocked snidely.

"Right back at you, Tobirama. You got yourself a free bath today," Izuna shot back, refusing to give an inch.

"Uchiha Izuna!!!"

"Tobirama Senju!!!"

And there they went, fighting again... Still, the two had enough sense not to fight inside someone else's restaurant.