Heavenly Court Chat Group

Zhonghai City, Huaxia.

Chen Hao was an ordinary university student. Shortly after graduation, he had come to this first-tier city with an earnest dream, joining countless other young people trying to make their way.

When he first graduated, Chen Hao had tried several jobs, but for various reasons, he had left them all.

Eventually, he found work delivering takeout. It offered relatively flexible hours, less hassle, and fairly decent pay.

Working in the wind and sun was tiring, but at least he didn't have to bow and scrape to anyone. As long as he worked hard enough, he could earn just as much as an average office worker.

Today, as always, Chen Hao was rushing through the city's streets and alleys, delivering takeout.

At noon, he bought two steamed buns and a bottle of water, then squatted beside his electric scooter to eat lunch.

While he was eating, his phone suddenly chimed.

He took it out and saw a WeChat notification, but its contents made him frown.

The God of Wealth has added you to the Heavenly Court Chat Group!

Chen Hao gave a dismissive snort. Apparently, another bored person had created another pointless group.

He opened the group chat and skimmed a few messages, immediately finding it amusing. What a circus this was.

Someone called themselves Supreme Lord Lao, another went by Chang'e, and another was the Dragon King of the Eastern Sea. There was even a Sun Wukong.

Just then, someone with the nickname Erlang Shen said, "Supreme Lord Lao, my Howling Celestial Dog will be undergoing a tribulation in a few days. When can you give this immortal the Tribulation-Transcending Pill I asked for?"

The Seven Fairies said, "Oh my, Erlang Shen, your household really is loaded. Even your dog gets a Tribulation-Transcending Pill for a tribulation. This humble immortal is so jealous."

The Seven Fairies had barely finished when someone named Pagoda-Bearing Li Heavenly King chimed in. "The Heavenly Court market has been sluggish lately. I suggest we get the God of Wealth to hand out some red packets and liven things up."

Immediately afterward, someone called Chang'e sent a message. "Exactly! God of Wealth, hurry up and send everyone a red packet. I can barely afford food for my Jade Rabbit anymore."

Pagoda-Bearing Li Heavenly King promptly agreed. "God of Wealth, send red packets! +1."

Red Boy added, "God of Wealth, send red packets! +2."

"God of Wealth, send red packets! +3."

"God of Wealth, send red packets! +4."

The mention of red packets from the God of Wealth instantly brought the group to life, with more and more people joining in.

Watching these self-proclaimed immortals spout nonsense, Chen Hao was utterly exasperated. Were people really this bored nowadays?

While everyone was frantically tagging the God of Wealth for red packets, someone named Old Immortal of the South Pole suddenly sent a message that completely derailed them. "I've been dumped, but even after sampling every fine wine in the Heavenly Realm, I still can't get properly drunk. Do any of my fellow immortals have a clever solution?"

The Bull Demon King was the first to speak. "Well, look at you, Old Immortal of the South Pole! At your age, you still get the chance to be dumped. I'm green with envy."

The Bull Demon King had just sent his message when Princess Iron Fan angrily replied, "You damned bull! Three days without a beating, and you're itching for another, are you? Just you wait."

The Bull Demon King went completely silent.

Then Sun Wukong suddenly popped up. "You old South Pole geezer, how about a whack from my staff? I can't get you drunk, but I can certainly knock you out!"

The Old Immortal of the South Pole replied stiffly, "Heh. Thank you for the offer, Great Sage."

Chen Hao found this bunch of jokers rather entertaining, so he casually joined in. "If you aren't drunk, your liquor isn't strong enough. Why not just drink pure alcohol?"

After sending the message, Chen Hao sneered inwardly, What a bunch of idiots.

But the moment his message appeared, he froze. He had discovered that his own group nickname was actually "Little Charlatan."

"Who the hell gave me this stupid name?" Chen Hao immediately tried to change it, only to find that he couldn't edit his group nickname at all. That infuriated him.

Then he remembered that the God of Wealth seemed to be the one who had added him. That bastard must have named him.

He was about to confront the God of Wealth when he frowned again. Why was he taking these idiots seriously? He could just leave the group!

Just as Chen Hao was about to leave, his phone chimed again. It was a message from the Old Immortal of the South Pole.

He wondered how the other person could message him without even sending a friend request, but he didn't dwell on it and simply opened the message.

"Fellow Immortal Little Charlatan, do you have any strong liquor that could let this immortal drink himself senseless? And what exactly is this alcohol you mentioned?"

Chen Hao's face darkened at that form of address, and he hurriedly explained, "My name isn't Little Charlatan!"

The Old Immortal of the South Pole paid no attention to that. "Oh, then I'll call you Fellow Immortal Charlatan. As for this alcohol, could you bestow a flask upon me so I can have a taste?"

Chen Hao was utterly speechless.

A flask, my ass. I've got no liquor for you, but I could fill one with piss.

"What is alcohol? I've sampled countless fine wines in the Heavenly Realm, but I've never even heard of it. Could you bestow a flask upon me so I can try something new?"

Already fuming, Chen Hao saw the Old Immortal of the South Pole still pestering him for alcohol and couldn't help cursing inwardly. Seriously? You don't even know what alcohol is? Are you an idiot?

Thinking the other person was messing with him, Chen Hao played along and spun a tale. "Alcohol is the essence extracted from wine and refined over forty-nine days. It is the strongest liquor under heaven, a truly rare immortal treasure."

The Old Immortal of the South Pole grew incredibly excited at this spiel and hurriedly replied, "Send it over at once! Let this immortal have a taste."

Chen Hao felt even more inclined to laugh and immediately played along. "Then where in the Heavenly Realm do you live, esteemed immortal? Why not send me your location? I'll bring some over."

"Haha, there's no need to go to all that trouble, my fellow immortal. Just use WeChat's Scan feature to send it over. Once the liquor arrives, this immortal will reward you handsomely."

Seeing the other person shamelessly claim that he could send liquor through WeChat, Chen Hao chuckled and inwardly berated himself for chatting with this bunch of lunatics. He really must have been bored.

He was about to leave the group when his hand stopped. Beneath his private chat with the Old Immortal of the South Pole, there really was a Scan feature.

Chen Hao found that rather unbelievable. He remembered that WeChat didn't have such a feature.

Had it been added in a new update?

As he pondered this, Chen Hao unwittingly started walking toward a small roadside shop.

He entered the shop and casually bought a five-yuan bottle of erguotou liquor.

This liquor was notoriously strong. Its alcohol content was almost as high as industrial alcohol, and it would ignite with a single spark.

Aside from hopeless boozehounds, most people couldn't handle it at all.

Chen Hao didn't know why, but after seeing that Scan feature, he felt as though some mysterious force was compelling him to test it.

"Five yuan," the shopkeeper said, setting the bottle on the counter.

Without thinking much of it, Chen Hao paid and opened Scan.

What happened next instantly shattered his understanding of the world.

The moment Chen Hao's camera scanned the bottle of erguotou, it inexplicably vanished.

You have sent a bottle of erguotou to the Old Immortal of the South Pole.

What the hell?!

Chen Hao's entire worldview lay in pieces. Since when had WeChat offered this service? This was insane!

Even the shopkeeper beside him was dumbstruck. He stared straight at Chen Hao, unable to recover for a long while.

As Chen Hao stared blankly at his phone, another WeChat notification suddenly appeared. "The Old Immortal of the South Pole has sent you a copy of the Celestial Immortal Art."

Chen Hao's eyes lit up, and he hurriedly opened it. Sure enough, an image of an ancient-looking book had appeared in his WeChat Favorites. When he tapped it, a description popped up: "Level-one immortal art: Celestial Immortal Art. Written by the Old Immortal of the South Pole. Learning it allows you to identify and appreciate all fine wines under heaven and drink a thousand cups without becoming intoxicated. Achieving mastery also unlocks immunity to all poisons. Learn now?"

Holy crap! Was this for real?

At that moment, a possibility finally dawned on Chen Hao. Could this guy actually be an immortal?

With that thought, Chen Hao no longer hesitated. Without another word, he tapped Learn.

A sudden buzzing filled Chen Hao's head, followed by a torrent of information that crashed into his mind and left him dizzy.

Before he even had time to process that information, an ill-timed notification sounded.

You have received a new order. Please deliver it promptly!

Hearing that notification, the last shred of Chen Hao's awareness finally dragged him back to reality.

The harsh demands of life had already forced him to develop a conditioned reflex.

The moment he heard an order notification, he couldn't spare a thought for anything else. Despite his lingering dizziness, he climbed onto his electric scooter and sped toward his destination.

It wasn't until late that night that Chen Hao dragged his exhausted body back to his rented room. Before he could even have a sip of water, he hurriedly changed into his designated-driver uniform.

Whenever he walked down the empty streets in the quiet of night, Chen Hao felt truly lost and exhausted.

He desperately wanted to stop for a while, but society's pressures pushed him from behind, forcing him to shoulder his burdens and keep moving every day.

Fortunately, he had a goal. He had hope. He wanted to earn money.

Enough money to marry his girlfriend, Sun Jiaqi.

Whenever he thought of Sun Jiaqi, he could face any hardship or exhaustion with a smile.

Didi Designated Driving reminder: you have received a new order. Please contact the passenger promptly!

Taking out his phone, Chen Hao called the passenger. "Hello, did you request a designated driver?"

A somewhat familiar voice came from the other end. "Yes. Come straight up to private room 303 on the third floor of the Golden Splendor Hotel. I've had a bit too much to drink. Come up and get me."

"All right, please wait a moment. I'll be right there." Without giving it much thought, Chen Hao climbed onto his little folding electric scooter, went full throttle, and reached the Golden Splendor Hotel in five minutes.

When he entered the private room, he saw a bunch of shirtless men partying away amid clouds of cigarette smoke and a deafening racket.

Chen Hao stood in the doorway for a moment, then suddenly spotted a familiar face among them.

A man whose face was flushed red from drinking also noticed Chen Hao. The instant their eyes met, both their expressions changed.

The man chuckled and walked over with his glass, acting as though he and Chen Hao were close friends. "Well, if it isn't our little Chen! What a coincidence. Come on, come in and have a seat."

With a cold expression and no reply, Chen Hao reluctantly went over.

The man's name was Zhang Liang, and he was Chen Hao's former boss. He was extremely harsh and stingy, the sort who would hold a grudge over the slightest offense.

Chen Hao had quit the company precisely because he found Zhang Liang's character intolerable. He had never expected to run into him here today.

Zhang Liang led Chen Hao to the table, then called out to everyone, "Quiet down, everyone. Let me introduce you. This is Chen Hao, a former employee of mine. I fired him ages ago. Just look at how he's ended up."

As he spoke, Zhang Liang gave Chen Hao a deeply contemptuous once-over. "He's driving drunks home now, for fuck's sake. What a bright future."

Everyone immediately burst out laughing.

Chen Hao slapped away the hand resting on his shoulder and snapped, "I don't steal or rob anyone. I earn my money through hard work. What gives you the right to look down on me? Fuck this. I'm not taking your order."

With that, Chen Hao turned to leave, only for a blond-haired man to block his path.

The blond was skinny, wore ear studs, and had tattoos covering his bare upper body. One look was enough to tell he was trouble.

With a cigarette dangling from his mouth, he gave Chen Hao a sinister look. "Watch your fucking mouth, kid. Believe me, I can cripple you right here."