Brother Monkey

It was eleven thirty at night, and a large crowd swept down the street toward a rental apartment.

The commotion drew the attention of several tenants, but when they saw how many people were coming, they shut their doors, too afraid even to watch.

A man who had followed Chen Hao during the day pointed at a door. "Boss, this is the place."

The man leading them was Long Guangsheng. Without another word, he kicked the door open.

The gang swarmed inside with clubs in hand. They switched on the light and were about to rush him, only to find Chen Hao lying motionless on the bed, snoring peacefully.

The dozens of men exchanged awkward looks.

"Goddammit, you can still snore with all this racket? I'll fucking kill you!"

Cursing furiously, Long Guangsheng strode forward, hauled Chen Hao off the bed, and slapped him twice across the face.

Smack! Smack!

But even after those blows, Chen Hao kept snoring like thunder, showing no sign of waking up.

Long Guangsheng was so furious that his lips began to tremble. This was far too disrespectful. I'm beating you up here! Can't you at least open your eyes and show me some basic respect?

He threw Chen Hao back onto the bed and held out a hand. Someone promptly placed a cigarette in it and moved to light it for him.

Long Guangsheng froze, then glared and kicked the man away. "Fuck off! Give me a club!"

Taking a club, Long Guangsheng aimed it at Chen Hao's knee with a vicious look. "You little bastard. You had the fucking nerve to mess with me? I'll cripple you for life!"

The instant he finished speaking, Long Guangsheng swung the club down at Chen Hao's knee.

Crack!

A sharp crack rang out, and wood splinters flew through the room. The baseball bat in Long Guangsheng's hands had shattered again, just as it had during the day.

He looked down at Chen Hao's knee, which was completely unharmed. Then he looked at Chen Hao himself. Goddammit, he was even drooling, sleeping as soundly as could be.

"What..."

Long Guangsheng stood holding half a bat, dumbfounded, along with the gang behind him.

Just then, the blond-haired man leaned close to Long Guangsheng. "Brother Long, more and more people are gathering outside, and someone's called the police. We should get out of here."

Long Guangsheng had brought plenty of men for this break-in, planning to beat Chen Hao senseless and leave. He had never expected such a bizarre situation.

"Goddammit, take him with us!" Long Guangsheng ordered, tossing away the broken bat.

While some men drove back the onlookers outside, the other lackeys carried the thunderously snoring Chen Hao to their car.

Meanwhile, the Chen Hao hiding in the Eight Trigrams Furnace looked like a coal miner, black from head to toe, with only two bright white eyes darting about.

Without those eyes, anyone looking inside would have had no idea there was a person in the Eight Trigrams Furnace.

Chen Hao was grinning as he used the fly whisk to clean the ash off the furnace walls and pack it into the Qiankun Bag.

If Chen Hao's guess was right, the ash in the Eight Trigrams Furnace had some miraculous restorative power. Otherwise, his swollen hand could never have healed instantly after touching just a little of it.

It might have been worthless to the immortals of the Heavenly Court, but to a mortal like him, it was all treasure. If Chen Hao could bring it back to his own world, it would surely cause a sensation throughout the medical community.

While Chen Hao was busily working away, a strange sound suddenly came from outside the Eight Trigrams Furnace.

Chen Hao stopped abruptly and poked his head out, only to nearly meet a hair-covered face mouth to mouth.

Before Chen Hao could even make out who it was, the hairy stranger roared, "Demon! Take a palm strike from Old Sun!"

Smack!

The slap distorted Chen Hao's face, sending saliva flying along with a cloud of black dust.

The tremendous force knocked Chen Hao straight back into the Eight Trigrams Furnace, making the entire furnace shudder three times.

Still not satisfied, the hairy fellow patted his small chest, his face filled with anger. He rolled up his sleeves and was about to climb inside to give Chen Hao a beating when a voice stopped him.

"Oh, Great Sage, have mercy! Have mercy!"

The hairy fellow, with his pointed mouth and monkey cheeks, gave an "Oh?" He was none other than Sun Wukong, the unruly monkey who had wreaked havoc in Heaven.

Seeing the Alchemy Boy approaching, Sun Wukong stopped and complained, "Oh, boy, you want Old Sun to have mercy? Do you know this demon?"

The Alchemy Boy ran up to Sun Wukong, gasping for breath, unsure whether to laugh or cry. "Great Sage, he isn't a demon! He's my immortal friend Little Charlatan, here to help me scrape out the furnace ash."

Sun Wukong's eyes shifted as understanding dawned on him. "No wonder! Old Sun was wondering when security in the Heavenly Court had gotten so bad that demons were roaming around Doushuai Palace!"

That remark sent the boy into a coughing fit. Only after recovering did he ask, "Great Sage, what brings you to Doushuai Palace?"

Sun Wukong bounced about a few times, then flipped onto one of the Eight Trigrams Furnace's chains before saying with a grin, "Boy, I came to ask you for a few pills to snack on. My mouth's bored stiff. I've stolen almost all the peaches in the Peach Garden, and there's practically nothing left to steal in the Heavenly Court."

The boy's lips twitched violently. Wiping cold sweat from his forehead, he said, "Great Sage, you've stolen almost all my pills too, big and small. Lao Jun is away on business, and the Eight Trigrams Furnace has stopped production. I ran out of supplies long ago!"

"Oh? Really? You'd better not lie to Old Sun, or I'll tear down Doushuai Palace." Sun Wukong hopped over beside the Alchemy Boy, plainly unconvinced.

The Alchemy Boy laughed awkwardly. "How would I dare lie to you, Great Sage? Hey, Great Sage, what are you doing?"

Before he had finished, Sun Wukong began hopping up and down around him, sniffing him all over and leaving the boy thoroughly embarrassed.

"Boy, why are there two strange smells on you? Neither comes from the Heavenly Court. Be honest. Are you hiding something good that Old Sun doesn't know about?" After sniffing around him, Sun Wukong immediately noticed something amiss.

Cold sweat trickled down the Alchemy Boy's face. Reluctantly, he took the cigarettes and betel nuts out of his pocket.

The monkey's eyes lit up at the sight of them. He snatched them away, pulled out a cigarette without a second thought, and sniffed it all over.

"Great Sage, that's... Oh dear."

Before the boy could explain, the Great Sage bit straight into it, filling his mouth with tobacco and leaving him spitting for quite a while.

"Great Sage, this is called a cigarette. You don't eat it. Let me show you."

An unknown amount of time passed before a dazed Chen Hao finally woke inside the Eight Trigrams Furnace. Clutching his painfully throbbing head, he crawled toward the opening.

As soon as he poked his head out, he saw the Alchemy Boy and another person standing with their backs to him, arms around each other's shoulders, puffing out clouds of smoke.

Remembering how someone had slapped him unconscious, Chen Hao burned with anger. He rolled up his sleeves and started climbing out to confront the culprit.

He knew the other party was an immortal of some sort and that there was little he could do, but he couldn't take that slap for nothing. At the very least, he ought to demand compensation for emotional distress.

Chen Hao was marching toward the pair with his chest out and his head held high when he suddenly heard the Alchemy Boy address the other person as "Great Sage." His legs went weak, and he stumbled, nearly dropping to his knees before them.

Hearing the noise behind them, the Alchemy Boy and Sun Wukong both turned around.

The moment Chen Hao got a clear look at Sun Wukong's face, he froze solid.

He had never imagined he would actually meet the legendary Sun Wukong. Even more absurdly, just a second ago, he had been bold enough to consider demanding compensation for emotional distress from him.

If that unruly monkey found out, wouldn't he skin Chen Hao alive?

Looking at Chen Hao sitting on the floor, black all over with two bright eyes blinking up at him, Sun Wukong's eye twitched twice. He exhaled a mouthful of smoke and said, "You look so punchable. Hurry up and clean yourself off, or Old Sun won't be able to resist hitting you again."

At those words, Chen Hao immediately stood up and began wiping himself clean.

Just then, the Alchemy Boy smiled. "Great Sage, my immortal friend Little Charlatan brought me all these cigarettes and betel nuts."

"Oh!" The Great Sage exclaimed in surprise and quickly hopped over to Chen Hao. "Is what the boy said true?"

Chen Hao, who had just finished cleaning himself, jumped in fright. He wouldn't dare lie. "Haha, it's true. This humble immortal obtained these cigarettes and betel nuts in a Secret Realm."

"Oh! Then hurry up and tell Old Sun where this Secret Realm is. I'll go get some cigarettes and betel nuts myself," Sun Wukong asked eagerly.

Chen Hao dared not tell the truth, so he made up an excuse. "This Secret Realm belongs neither to the Heavenly Court nor to the Three Realms. Even if I told you, Great Sage, I'm afraid you wouldn't be able to get there."

Sun Wukong scratched his ears and cheeks for a while. "Oh, there's a place like that? The world really is vast and full of wonders!"

Afraid Sun Wukong would get hung up on the matter, Chen Hao quickly changed the subject. "But don't worry, Great Sage. Before long, I can get some cigarettes and betel nuts just for you."

Sun Wukong's eyes immediately lit up. He gave Chen Hao's shoulder a light punch. "Oh, really? You'd better not fool me, Old Sun!"

The instant Sun Wukong lightly punched Chen Hao's shoulder, a Monkey Hair drifted down onto Chen Hao's clothes.

As Chen Hao was still smiling and humoring Sun Wukong, a voice suddenly sounded in his mind, making his entire body stiffen. "Monkey Hair: can conjure varying numbers of copies of the caster. The copies' attack power, duration, and number depend on the caster's level."

Sun Wukong truly was incredible. Even a single Monkey Hair had such miraculous powers. That was ridiculously awesome.

Chen Hao hurriedly put the Monkey Hair away.

Only after Chen Hao promised to deliver cigarettes to him in a few days did the Great Sage finally ride away on a cloud, leaving Chen Hao and the Alchemy Boy wiping cold sweat from their foreheads.