Eating My Words

Li Shouyi was wandering around outside, hoping he might run into a peerless piece of trash.

As expected, all he encountered were peerless geniuses again.

"Immortal, please wait!"

This was a wealthy local merchant's household.

At that moment, the master of the household was clutching Li Shouyi's hand and stubbornly refusing to let go.

"Let go! Hurry up and let go of me!"

"I already told you, your son is a peerless genius! Whichever sect he joins, he'll be unmatched in the world. But he isn't the one I'm looking for!"

"Immortal, I understand the rules."

"I'll smash my pots and sell my iron to buy spirit stones as an apprenticeship gift for you. Please, you must accept my son."

"Why can't you understand what I'm saying, you old fool?"

Li Shouyi watched as a little boy, as pretty as carved jade, hugged his thigh at his parents' urging.

Then those adorable big eyes gazed up at him and began shedding tears without end.

Li Shouyi's head immediately began to ache. Left with no choice, he said, "How about this? I can see your son is a Sword Dao genius."

"I'll recommend him to the Heavenly Sword Sect, one of the Five Great Sects. Will that satisfy you?"

"Yes! Thank you, Immortal."

"Ku'er, hurry up and kneel to thank the Immortal."

Hearing his father's words, the little boy first blinked, looking very confused.

The wealthy merchant immediately panicked at his reaction.

He hurried forward and took hold of his son, who was even cuter than a girl, trying to force him to kowtow to Li Shouyi.

"Enough, enough. I'll contact the Heavenly Sword Sect right now. Their sect is nearby, so they should get here soon."

Li Shouyi had truly had enough.

As an upstanding young man from the twenty-first century, he had his principles.

What he disliked most was people dropping to their knees at the slightest provocation.

"Thank you, Immortal. I'll make sure Ku'er remembers your boundless kindness for the rest of his life."

"Heh."

The corner of Li Shouyi's mouth twitched. For a moment, he had almost expected the man to say, "I thank eight generations of your ancestors!"

Next, he took out the jade token Zhang Daoling had given him and began contacting him.

"Senior, this junior has discovered an unparalleled Sword Dao genius. Please respond if you hear me."

"What the hell did you say?"

"Uh, an unparalleled Sword Dao genius, about three hundred li south of your Heavenly Sword Sect."

"Zhuo Yifan, get your ass up and bring your junior brother back!"

Li Shouyi: "..."

A little while later, Zhuo Yifan slowly descended from the sky, sporting a panda-like black eye.

"Brother Zhuo, it's been ages! You're as dashing as ever!"

"Heh. Fellow Daoist Li, you're as humorous as ever."

Seeing Li Shouyi desperately holding back his laughter, Zhuo Yifan knew he was being teased.

"Brother Zhuo, this is the Sword Dao genius I mentioned."

Without wasting words, Li Shouyi picked up the pretty, jade-carved little boy and held him out before Zhuo Yifan.

"This is...?"

Zhuo Yifan's expression suddenly grew solemn.

A moment later, he looked into the little boy's eyes and exclaimed in shock, "An innate sword body! Brother Li, how did you discover him?"

"And a Sword Dao genius like this was only a mere three hundred li from our Heavenly Sword Sect."

"Yet none of our Spirit Scouts discovered him."

Hearing Zhuo Yifan's praise, Li Shouyi couldn't help giving an awkward laugh. "I just found him like that."

"Since you're here now, Brother Zhuo, I should take my leave."

"Uh, Master said he wanted to invite you to visit our Heavenly Sword Sect. Would you...?"

"No. I'm busy."

Like hell Li Shouyi was going!

He was already frustrated to death. Had those words Zhuo Yifan had just said even been fit for human ears?

What did he mean, their scouts hadn't found the boy a mere three hundred li away?

Was he saying that I, Li Shouyi, was born to recruit geniuses and nothing else?

Pah! I don't want any damn geniuses!

What I want is trash! Peerless, utterly useless trash!

Li Shouyi wore a cheerful grin, but inwardly he roared again and again.

"All right, then. Since you have matters to attend to, Brother Li, I won't insist."

"Mm. Farewell."

Li Shouyi rose straight into the air, turned into a streak of light, and vanished.

Watching the direction in which Li Shouyi had disappeared, Zhuo Yifan couldn't help murmuring, "Why did Master say this man had the makings of an immortal?"

On his way back to Good Fortune Mountain, Li Shouyi sat on his flying sword, frowning in thought.

What sin did I commit to deserve this?

He could clearly find geniuses with ease, yet Heaven had saddled him with a Trash System.

Was it looking down on me, Big G?

Thinking of his three female disciples, Li Shouyi couldn't help sighing inwardly.

Ah, why is raising my cultivation even a little so difficult?

System notification: Because your disciple Su Wan'er has deepened her understanding of the great Dao of cause and effect, your cultivation is about to increase.

Li Shouyi froze when he heard that.

Then he felt the golden core within his body slowly expanding, expanding, and expanding again.

Finally, bang...

An infant bearing a ninety-percent resemblance to him appeared in his sea of consciousness.

Immediately afterward, the system's notification sounded again.

Congratulations, host. Your cultivation has advanced to the nascent soul early stage.

Congratulations, host. Because your cultivation has increased, the requirement for your next disciple is now a once-in-a-thousand-years piece of trash.

After hearing the system's words, Li Shouyi hurriedly asked, "Why did my cultivation increase when Su Wan'er gained an understanding of the great Dao of cause and effect?"

This is because Su Wan'er shares a deep karmic connection with you.

"So can I take that to mean that the deeper Su Wan'er's understanding becomes, the faster my cultivation will increase?"

The system fell silent.

But Li Shouyi's eyes suddenly lit up.

Had I just discovered another function of the system?

Just then, the system's voice sounded again.

System notification: Your disciple Lin Shuishui has taken in a once-in-a-thousand-years piece of trash. Please seize this opportunity at once.

Holy shit.

What's gotten into these disciples?

They're giving me one surprise after another!

System notification: Your disciple Pei Zhujiu has taken in a once-in-a-thousand-years piece of trash. Please seize this opportunity at once.

This time, Li Shouyi was utterly stunned.

Having already advanced to the nascent soul realm, he began racing madly toward Good Fortune Mountain, his face wild with delight.

At that moment, all Li Shouyi wanted was to apologize to his three disciples.

He had thought those three little bastards only knew how to stab him in the back!

But now, Li Shouyi wanted to say just one thing.

I'm eating my words!

On Good Fortune Mountain.

The gambling had already ended. Su Wan'er sat upright by the cliff, her consciousness having merged into the deep sea.

At that moment, the fellow disciples who had just won a huge sum of money from her had each carved out a cave abode on the mountain and were laughing heartily inside.

Through the threads of cause and effect connecting her to them, Su Wan'er saw this scene.

At that moment, Su Wan'er's understanding of cause and effect deepened once again.

The threads of cause and effect connecting countless people began feeding spiritual energy back to her.

Finally, a golden pill slowly took shape inside Su Wan'er's body.

But just then, the winds and clouds in the sky suddenly shifted.

The Heavenly Tribulation had arrived.