"Old Chu, it's not as if His Majesty hasn't got long to live. Why do you keep pestering him to name an heir?"
Wenren Qiao, that thoughtless oaf, meant well, but if Lang Ling hadn't known his temperament, he could easily have charged him with gross disrespect.
"You! You're a prince, for heaven's sake. How can you speak so crudely?"
"What's wrong with being crude? Does being a scholar mean you don't shit or piss?"
Grand Commandant Chu was so infuriated by his blunt words that his eyes bulged, making him the very image of Zhong Kui reborn.
But aside from charging headlong into things, Wenren Qiao was also especially good at knowing when to chicken out.
"Daughter, he's bullying Daddy! Go bite him!"
Wenren Qiao took one stride and ducked straight behind his daughter, then pointed at the furious Grand Commandant Chu beside them and patted Wenren Luoshui's shoulder.
Wenren Luoshui: ...
Yep, that's definitely my father!
[Salty Fish System: Host, host! New gossip detected.]
The ministers: Here it comes, here it comes! At last, some gossip to wake us up and clear our heads!
Grand Commandant Chu: I have an ominous feeling about this.
Wenren Qiao, hiding behind his daughter: Let's see if you dare provoke me again! Anyone else who does, I'll have my daughter dig up their juicy secrets for us to feast on!
Everyone: Shameless old bastard!!!!
[Let's hear it.]
[Salty Fish System: It happens to be about this very Grand Commandant Chu.]
Grand Commandant Chu: ...
The emperor: Hahahahaha! Bringing little Luoshui here really was the right decision.
[Salty Fish System: Grand Commandant Chu has a nephew whose family recently sent him to stay at his house. The story on the surface is that he came to the Capital to study.]
Everyone: On the surface? Then what's going on underneath?
[So why did he really come to Grand Commandant Chu?]
[Salty Fish System: He bullied his classmates at his hometown school and even killed someone.]
Everyone: Hah!
They all knew that Grand Commandant Chu had always enjoyed a fine reputation in the Capital for keeping his household under strict discipline.
Well, now his nephew had killed someone back home and come running to him for shelter.
Not only had he failed to investigate the truth, he had even taken his nephew in.
If Grand Commandant Chu didn't handle this properly, whether he could keep his official post would be hanging by a thread!
Grand Commandant Chu was startled too.
His younger brother had written to him saying only that his nephew was a little unruly at home, and that he wanted to send the boy to stay with him so he could discipline him for a while.
The letter hadn't said a single word about him beating someone to death back home!
[Salty Fish System: Grand Commandant Chu is actually rather unfairly implicated. His brother's letter never mentioned that his nephew had beaten someone to death. And his brother's family was utterly overbearing toward the victim's relatives. Not only did they refuse to pay any compensation, they kept sending local thugs to smash up the victim's home.] [Salty Fish System: The victim's grandfather had one leg forcibly broken. Of the victim's two sisters, one was sold to a brothel, and the other was given to the local county magistrate as his tenth concubine.]
[Holy crap! Did Grand Commandant Chu's brother really come from the same mother? How could he be so vile?]
[Salty Fish System: They are indeed full brothers, but this younger brother was born late in their parents' lives. At home, he was spoiled even more than Consort Jin. Later, Grand Commandant Chu realized the family had twisted his character by spoiling him and tried to set him straight for a while. But Old Madam Chu couldn't bear to see her youngest son suffer. Since his elder brother, Grand Commandant Chu, kept him in line in the Capital, she took her youngest son back to their hometown. There, Old Madam Chu indulged him at every turn. Without his eldest brother's discipline, he became increasingly lawless.]
Grand Commandant Chu was helpless when it came to this younger brother of his. Back when his mother and brother had lived with him in the Capital, he had still been able to keep him in line.
Ever since his mother had taken his brother back to their hometown, he hadn't seen him in years.
He had always thought his brother had been such a scoundrel back then only because he was young.
Who could have known that not only was his brother utterly unreliable, but the son he had raised was even worse?
To be honest, among all these court officials, whose family didn't have a few bizarre relatives?
Those who had suffered at the hands of such relatives cast sympathetic looks at Grand Commandant Chu.
[Salty Fish System: Speaking of which, there's a big surprise waiting for Grand Commandant Chu when he goes home today!]
The system's voice held none of the delight of seeing something it liked. Instead, there was a chill in it.
[What do you mean? He won't behave even in Grand Commandant Chu's residence?]
Grand Commandant Chu listened intently as the system said there was a big surprise awaiting him at home.
For some reason, a cold sweat broke out over his back!
The emperor also had a bad feeling. The three consorts and the Empress in his harem had been close friends who shared everything before entering the palace. Later, certain circumstances had forced them into the palace, but even then, the bond between the four women had remained unchanged.
If Consort Jin and the others learned that something had happened in Grand Commandant Chu's residence, he could forget about cuddling up to the Empress for a while.
So among everyone listening to the gossip, the emperor was the most anxious person after Grand Commandant Chu.
[Salty Fish System: He behaved himself for a few days after arriving at Grand Commandant Chu's residence, but how could someone like him possibly reform in such a short time?]
[So? What did he do this time?]
[Salty Fish System: One of Grand Commandant Chu's granddaughters keeps a beautiful Persian cat. Chu Siqi behaved himself for a few days, but today he simply couldn't keep up the act anymore. Just then, he saw that Persian cat passing outside his window. When Grand Commandant Chu's granddaughter discovered her cat was missing, she went out to look for it. After searching everywhere without finding it, she assumed the cat would come home on its own once it had finished playing outside.]
The system took a deep breath before continuing.
[When she reached her bedroom door, she suddenly saw a bloody lump of flesh hanging from it. She recognized it at once as her cat, only someone had skinned it. At the sight, she fainted from overwhelming grief. Her younger sister came to play with her and, seeing her unconscious, tried to run over and help her up. Suddenly, a complete, bloodstained cat hide fell from above. The thing landing at her feet frightened her so badly that she lost her wits and remained mentally impaired for the rest of her life.]
[That son of a bitch! Someone like that is a born demon! Not sending him straight into his next life would be an insult to the law!]
Everyone: Exactly, exactly!
They had imagined how vicious Chu Siqi might be, but never that he could be vicious to this degree!
He was staying under his relatives' roof. Even if he felt no gratitude, he had actually gone and killed the cat belonging to their little granddaughter-and not in any ordinary way!
Skinning it like that was nothing short of torture and slaughter!
This helping of gossip left every minister with children chilled to the bone!
With anguish written all over his face, Grand Commandant Chu asked the emperor for leave, saying his old ailment had flared up and he needed to go home and rest for a day. The emperor immediately agreed.
He only hoped Grand Commandant Chu could still make it back in time, or he himself would be in for a miserable day!
Because of this gossip, the atmosphere at that morning's court session grew rather subdued.
As soon as court ended, word came that the servants at Grand Commandant Chu's residence had forcibly hauled a young master staying there off to the authorities.
[System, are the granddaughters at Grand Commandant Chu's residence all right?]
[Salty Fish System: When Grand Commandant Chu returned, he happened to see Chu Siqi grabbing his granddaughter's cat and immediately kicked him. After Chu Siqi fell, several strong servants rushed forward, restrained him, and hauled him off to the authorities. So neither of his granddaughters came to harm.]
[Then what will happen to Chu Siqi?]
[Salty Fish System: Everything he has done will be uncovered, and he will ultimately be sentenced to immediate execution by beheading. His parents will also be arrested and receive prison sentences ranging from five to ten years.]