Thinking of the message the emperor had sent, the empress took another few mouthfuls of green tea to rinse her mouth.
If that man touched Consort Shu again, he could forget about setting foot in Fengyi Palace!
Jiang Shuyue: [The empress is so beautiful! She looks positively golden! How did such a gorgeous beauty end up with that creepy uncle? The Heavenly Dao is unfair.]
The system: [They were childhood sweethearts. When Murong Ling was five, she pinned the emperor to the ground and thrashed him. At six, she dressed up as a ghost and scared him into wetting his pants. From then on, their fates were bound together.]
[You could say the emperor's rugged, rough-and-tumble nature was forged entirely in her hands. Murong Ling really is a heroine among women.]
The empress felt rather proud.
She had never dared tell anyone about those incidents, yet the little system had dug them all up.
Sure enough, pure gold never feared the passage of time. No matter how long it had been, it could still shine.
Jiang Shuyue: [What a shame. Such a good person, dying so horribly. How could the emperor bring himself to do it?]
The empress wondered the same thing.
Though the boy she had known had become the sovereign, he had always treated her with love and respect, never once making her suffer.
How could he have believed she had committed adultery, then allowed others to torture her to death?
She refused to believe it. Not even if they beat her to death.
The system said regretfully: [Actually, the emperor sent her to the cold palace to protect her. A few years later, something happened to the Crown Prince that left him crippled. The empress's family was also embroiled in a scandal and could barely fend for themselves. The Fourth Prince joined forces with several of his older brothers to pressure the empress, and the emperor had no choice either.]
The empress's heart lurched, and a taut string inside her snapped.
"Shuyue, you said the Crown Prince..."
Jiang Shuyue blinked. [The Crown Prince? What Crown Prince? Did I say anything just now?]
The empress immediately changed tack. "The Crown Prince isn't young anymore. I don't know what his future holds, and it worries me terribly."
"Ah... well... perhaps, probably, most likely, Heaven will protect a good man?"
[As long as he doesn't get involved with that transmigrator woman, everything should be fine.]
A transmigrator woman?
The empress was running short on brainpower. She had no idea what transmigration meant.
Jiang Shuyue: [I remember the Crown Prince was bewitched by a transmigrator woman, then dumped his childhood sweetheart. Humiliated and furious, the girl killed herself by ramming her head into a wall. General Zhao had to bury a child while his own hair was already white. In his rage, he joined forces with the Fourth Prince and turned against the Crown Prince.]
The system: [That's right. The Crown Prince's fiancée was General Zhao's only remaining family, his dearly beloved little granddaughter. Of course old Zhao went mad after she died.]
Jiang Shuyue: [The Crown Prince met that transmigrator woman when the Second Prince tricked him into wandering around a brothel, right? I remember they haven't met yet at this point.]
The system nodded. [It should happen on the second day of next month. The transmigrator woman was sold to a brothel and rescued by the Second Prince. To repay him, she willingly became his pawn and seduced the Crown Prince. But the Second Prince was fooled too. She actually worked for the Fourth Prince. They set the trap together, eliminated the Crown Prince and the Second Prince, and poisoned the Third Prince. After the Fourth Prince ascended the throne, even his younger brothers, the Fifth Prince and the Youngest Prince, didn't escape.]
[That transmigrator woman killed Murong Tianci and became the Imperial Preceptor. She kept no fewer male lovers than Consort Shu. She even had a famous saying.]
[Let me think, what was it... "If men can have three wives and four concubines, I can have nine wives and twelve concubines. I don't believe in Heaven or fate. I only believe in myself."]
Jiang Shuyue almost wanted to applaud her.
Ambition was a good thing, but the Heavenly Dao turned the wheel of cause and effect. Of all things in the world, vanishingly few could escape it.
Even if something could, it certainly wouldn't be a venomous pest that harmed others.
Besides, was escaping it really that easy? Her transmigration had already been a gift from the Heavenly Dao, yet she was still so arrogant. Did she really think she was special?
The empress's expression darkened.
The Second Prince had lost his mother as a young child. Pitying him for having no one to care for him at such a tender age, she had raised him herself.
He had always seemed loving toward his brothers and respectful of his elders. She had never imagined he would secretly harm her son.
Only the day before yesterday, she had been preparing to arrange a marriage for the Second Prince. It seemed she would have to reconsider the candidates.
Jiang Shuyue picked up a flask of wine and sniffed it. [What's this? It smells amazing!]
[Wait, don't!]
By the time the system tried to stop her, it was already too late.
Catching the scent of bamboo, a fellow plant, Jiang Shuyue gulped down half the flask in a few swigs.
The system looked utterly miserable and wanted to bury its head in its crotch.
[Don't call for me later. I don't know you.]
The empress thought, She's only having a little wine. What's wrong with that?
"Shuyue, are... are you all right?"
Jiang Shuyue's cheeks flushed, and her large, watery eyes showed the first signs of madness.
"Golden Phoenix! You finally shed your feathers? I told you ages ago that plumage was too thick. It even breathed fire! You must've been boiling in summer, right? Good thing you shed it. Look how bare you are now! So smooth!"
Jiang Shuyue hugged the empress's arm, stroking it and rubbing against it.
Xiao Wei cried out in shock, "How dare you! Let go of Her Majesty at once!"
"Huh? Why is the little turtledove here too?"
"The little turtledove can talk now! You've been cultivating hard! But no matter how hard you work, you can't change the fact that you're a turtledove. That's the gulf between species."
Xiao Wei thought, You're a turtledove! Your whole family are turtledoves!
"Golden Phoenix, where's all your baby down? Give me a few feathers. I'll take them home to light my stove!"
The empress said, "Well..." Since when did I have baby down?
"Boohoo, my Golden Phoenix, how did you become so stingy? I know! That bastard Golden Crow must've taught you."
"I told you ages ago that Golden Crow was no good. Look, he doesn't even grow feathers. How good could a featherless thing possibly be?"
The system: [...Host, you're a green tea spirit. You don't have feathers either...]
"Golden Crow, you bastard! You plucked my Golden Phoenix's feathers! I won't let you get away with this!"
"Shuyue, where are you going?"
The empress hurried after her, but Jiang Shuyue had already climbed onto the roof of Fengyi Palace.
Planting her hands on her hips, she pointed at the sky. "Golden Crow, get down here! Hand over Golden Phoenix's feathers, and I promise I won't curse you!"
A white cloud drifted past, hiding the sun.
Jiang Shuyue grabbed roof tiles and hurled them wildly through the air.
"Get out here, you head-tucking coward of a bird! You used to peck my leaves, and now you're bullying my sister! How did she end up married to a stingy bird like you? What a bitter fate!"
"The sea is full of water, and your brain is full of shit! Next time you face a heavenly tribulation, I'll send a massive bolt of heavenly lightning down on you! Crack, crack, zapping you all over!"
"Golden Crow, you coward! If you don't come out, I'll set my husband on you!"
Golden Crow thought, Where are your manners?
Zhou Yunshen thought, What do you take me for?
"What are you all standing around for? Get her down!"
The empress was frantic. If they waited any longer, her Fengyi Palace would be torn apart!
Xiao Wei ordered someone to bring a ladder and climbed up with several guards.
Jiang Shuyue cried out, "System, look! Gorillas climbing a tree! Awooo, awoooo~~"
The guards wanted to cry.
Calling them gorillas was one thing, but what was she doing squatting on the roof's highest beam and howling like a wolf?
Even the wolf howling was fine, but couldn't she find somewhere safer?
If she took a nasty fall, would any of them get to keep their lives?
Girl, could you spare a thought for everyone else?
"A monkey has one mouth, a gorilla has two hands, Golden Crow has three legs, and one is super short."
"My talent is off the charts! Should I go take the imperial examinations? Thousand-year-old Chacha claims first place!"
Jiang Shuyue planted her hands on her hips and laughed wildly without stopping.
The system: [...I can't watch. I really can't watch.]
Before you continue