Madara, did you reveal some strange fetish?

"But my big... sister's children are my children. My little brother's children can be my children too. It doesn't matter."

At the mention of little brothers, Hashirama suddenly sank into gloom.

Seeing this, Madara Uchiha scooted farther away. "Hey, when are you going to stop having these gloomy spells?"

"My little brother disappeared. There's been no news at all. I don't even know if he's alive." Tears streamed from Hashirama's eyes as though someone had opened the floodgates.

"Sorry. I shouldn't have brought up something so painful."

Madara Uchiha offered a rare, awkward apology, but his thoughts had already drifted elsewhere.

He recalled how he and his older brother had kidnapped a group of Senju on a mission. There seemed to have been a child among them.

What was his name again?

One of the Senju had called him Young Master Kawarama.

Only the Clan Head's son would be addressed as young master.

That meant the Senju before him might be Butsuma Senju's son.

In that case...

He suspected the Uchiha had kidnapped their Clan Head's son, so they sent him to probe me.

At that moment, Madara thought he had uncovered the truth.

Those despicable Senju!

Because Indra had failed to convey his ideas properly, Madara's understanding had gone completely off the rails.

"I hope my little brother was just captured by some clan, rather than killed. At least that would mean he's still alive. If only there were no wars in this world. I want to build a village where I can keep my little brother safe."

Hashirama shared his thoughts, but as he waited for his friend to respond, he noticed his friend staring at him strangely.

"Invincible? Why are you looking at me like that? Is something wrong with your eyesight?"

"Hey, what nonsense are you talking about? My eyesight is excellent."

Madara shot back mercilessly, studying Hashirama.

Those words had confirmed it for him: the other boy must have discovered that his older brother had kidnapped the Senju. That was why he had said all that.

He's threatening me.

Damn it!

Those despicable Senju!

When I get home, I have to warn my big brother. They've discovered that he kidnapped the Senju and enslaved them to raise pigs and herd sheep.

"Oh, you said your sister is really strong. Is she a ninja too?" Every time they met lately, they argued about this, then exchanged blows using Taijutsu. "If she isn't, bring her out to play. I'll bring my little sister too."

"Well, my father keeps arranging matches for me anyway. If your sister..."

"Shut up, bastard! How dare you set your sights on my big... sister!"

Madara sprang up from the ground as though a nerve had been struck. These despicable Senju really had some nerve.

He actually wants to contaminate the Uchiha bloodline, and he's even going after my big brother. He's trying to get me killed!

If my big brother finds out I've been calling him my sister out here, he'll beat me to death.

He absolutely will!

Even Father won't be able to stop him.

"Why are you getting so worked up?" Hashirama hugged his knees, wearing an expression that begged for a beating, then continued, "Don't tell me... you don't even have a sister!"

"What nonsense are you talking about?!" Madara felt a little guilty, since he really didn't have one. "My sister is very busy. She has to teach my little brother and my father how to train. How would she have time to come out and play?"

"Unlike your little sister, who does nothing all day. Oh, last time you said your little sister put on a dress and asked you if she looked pretty. My sister would never do anything that pointless."

Madara folded his arms as he spoke, his tone carrying that trademark Uchiha mockery and his expression full of disdain. What's the point of a despicable Senju wearing a dress? No matter how pretty her dress is, she won't look as good as my big brother in a kimono.

She might not even look as good as Izuna.

Ugh, I should never have said I had a big sister. I should've said I had a little sister too, then made Izuna come out in women's clothes.

If I dared suggest that my big brother wear women's clothes...

He could guarantee that he would say it one second and be beaten to death the next.

"My little sister is still young. She'll definitely be prettier when she grows up. At least she won't be like your sister, who can't find anyone to marry her."

From his friend's descriptions, Hashirama had already imagined his sister as a gorgeous, violent woman with no sense of propriety. After all, few people would beat up their own fathers.

"Hah, a while ago, my father even picked out beautiful concu... bines for my sister. Your little sister can only marry someone, but if my sister wants, she can take her pick from the entire clan."

Madara wouldn't tolerate anyone speaking ill of his one and only Nii-san. Not even his father could do that, let alone a despicable Senju.

"Huh? Concu... bines? Isn't that something the old geezers in the clan like to do?" A giant question mark practically hovered over Hashirama's head. Since when can women pick any husband they want, and even have concubines?

Is our Senju Clan too old-fashioned?

It must be. I'll have to tell Father about this when I get back. We can't be so old-fashioned.

Those arranged matches need to wait.

At the very least, I need to meet someone who loves me back.

My friend here is good-looking, so his sister must be pretty too. Maybe...

He was already imagining himself marrying his friend's sister, then building a village together and ushering in an age of peace.

"Hey, Invincible, bring your sister along next time. I'll bring my little sister too."

"No way!" Madara refused flatly. He didn't want to be beaten to death yet. His older brother absolutely couldn't find out about this.

"If you won't bring her, that means she doesn't exist. No way, no way! You really don't have one, and you've been fooling me this whole time. I know you're proud, but surely you wouldn't go so far as to lie?"

Wearing an expression that begged for a beating, Hashirama began baiting him. The more Invincible refused, the more he wanted to meet her.

"Bastard! As long as you bring your little sister, I'll bring my big sister."

As expected, Madara couldn't stand that and actually agreed. But what he was really thinking was that he would discuss it with his father first when he got home. If that didn't work, perhaps he should just kill this Senju who was trying to seduce him, along with his little sister.

As long as I kill them, Nii-san won't find out. And if Nii-san doesn't know, I'll still be his good little brother.

The two parted ways.

Madara Uchiha returned home and found Uchiha Tajima in the study. Glossing over a few details, he focused on how the Senju had sent someone to seduce him and were planning to contaminate the Uchiha bloodline, leaving them without descendants on the battlefield.

Seated at his desk with his chin propped on one hand, Uchiha Tajima looked stern and utterly expressionless. A closer look, however, would have revealed a trace of bewilderment in his eyes.

"Are you certain this intelligence is reliable?"

Uchiha Tajima was skeptical. This really didn't sound like Butsuma Senju's style. They had fought for so many years; that man would never do anything so absurd.

But surely his own son wouldn't lie to him?

"So you're saying... that the next time you meet, you want me to bring men to kill that Senju boy and his little sister? Rather than capture them?"

The way Uchiha Tajima looked at his son changed, three scarlet tomoe slowly spinning in his eyes. His son was clearly hiding something from him.

The intelligence was incomplete. There was something else he didn't know.

But instead of rushing to expose him, he asked, "If... the Senju sent someone to seduce you, why would they send a boy rather than a girl? Did you... reveal some strange fetish out there?"

Madara Uchiha: ...

Has Father gone mad? He actually suspects I have some unusual fetish.

Do men become sleazy once they pass thirty?