An excited Perfected Lord Wenchang (thanks to AuroraLin for the alliance leader sponsorship)

"Another issue of the school paper." Students in other classes woke up bright and early to find a school paper on their desks, much to their delight.

One boy's deskmate lay sprawled over his desk catching up on sleep, too lazy to lift his head. "What's so interesting about the school paper? It's either speeches from the administration or inspirational fluff. My essays are more interesting."

"If that's your standard, Chu Xiaoyao's essays are even better. I heard she wrote some kind of story and got dragged into the office for a scolding from her Chinese teacher, while the other Chinese teachers all secretly asked whether there was more."

"Well, I definitely can't compete with Chu Xiaoyao." His deskmate nodded in agreement. He knew his limits.

"Besides, what's wrong with the school paper? At least it's more interesting than our textbooks." The boy wasn't picky. When he got bored between classes, he could even engross himself in medication instructions.

The front-page headline soon caught his attention.

"Hey, look! Class Three started an Acrobatics Troupe?"

His deskmate wasn't falling for it. He waved a hand. "Who are you trying to fool? Let me sleep."

"It really is an Acrobatics Troupe. It's called the Carefree Sect, and Zhou You's the Sect Master."

His deskmate responded groggily, "Zhou You? Why does that name sound so familiar?"

"The Zhou You who's got something going on with Su Tingxue."

"Him?" His deskmate perked up, snatched the paper, and read the headline several times.

He had thought the dreary life of a senior was about to begin, but barely two days into the school year, there was already news this juicy.

His only regret was that he wasn't in Class Three and hadn't witnessed Zhou You's astonishing feat of holding Su Tingxue with one hand and pulling Chu Xiaoyao along with the other.

What an enviable guy.

And now, just one day later, they had started an Acrobatics Troupe. They had so much going on.

If only he could transfer to Class Three.

His deskmate stood up. "Come on, let's go to the bathroom."

"I just went."

"Point out Zhou You when we pass Class Three on the way."

"Oh."

"Fatty Wei, damn you! Is that any way to describe someone?" School paper in hand, Zhou You stormed over to Wei Hang.

Traffic at the classroom's back door had noticeably increased that day. Everyone was sneaking over with friends to get a look at him, and Wei Hang was the source of it all.

As Vice Sect Master, Nuomi naturally had to follow her Sect Master closely. She circled Wei Hang in a shamanic dance, making incomprehensible noises.

"Hey! Ha!"

She considered herself very intimidating.

Feeling wronged, Wei Hang took out the school paper to confront Zhou You. For some reason, though, whenever Zhou You came close, he shivered with cold.

Could it be my guilty conscience?

"What's wrong with it? Isn't this all what you told me to write? You said you had one-ox strength and could unscrew a bottle cap with one hand."

"Is 'one-ox strength' what you actually wrote?" Zhou You demanded angrily.

Understanding dawned on Wei Hang. "Oh, you mean that. 'One-ox strength' is too hard to understand. I was worried our classmates wouldn't get it, so I changed it to something straightforward. The most important thing about a newspaper is making sure people understand it. That's a pearl of wisdom the previous president of the School Newspaper Club left me."

Zhou You wanted to spit blood all over Wei Hang's face. Who asked you to make it straightforward? Now everyone thinks I'm an acrobat.

I'm a bona fide immortal cultivator! Do you understand the gulf between immortals and mortals?

"All right, all right, don't be mad. Have some shrimp crackers on me." Seeing Zhou You's anger, Wei Hang put on an appeasing smile and generously offered him a treat. He shook the bag, making the crisp shrimp crackers rattle invitingly against one another.

Zhou You stared at the crackers for a while, wanting to ask whether that wasn't the very bag he had given Wei Hang that morning. After a moment's consideration, he swallowed the remark, grabbed a handful, and popped one into his mouth.

Delicious. Wei Hang was forgiven for now.

Zhou You returned to his seat and opened his hand to show Chu Xiaoyao his spoils-a handful of shrimp crackers-while glaring at her.

"You're still laughing? This is all your fault for insisting we add that bit about one-ox strength."

"Sorry, sorry! I really didn't expect it to turn out like this." Chu Xiaoyao had laughed so hard her stomach hurt after getting the paper, leaving Zhou You to lead Nuomi off to settle the score with Wei Hang.

She took a few crackers from Zhou You's hand and laughed as she ate.

Perfected Lord Wenchang had been in a foul mood ever since emerging from seclusion.

He had woken up to find the mighty Qing Dynasty gone.

The Qing Dynasty's fall alone would have been tolerable. It wasn't as though he had never lived through a change of dynasty before. At worst, he could stop studying the Eight-Legged Essay, take the next dynasty's imperial examinations, and continue serving as an official.

But this time, more than two thousand years of imperial rule had ended, and even the examinations for government posts had age limits.

"Ahh..."

Perfected Lord Wenchang shook his head and sighed at his friend Dongyunzi's home. There was no future left for literary Dao cultivators like him.

"All right, all right, stop sighing." Dongyunzi took off his headphones and complained. Perfected Lord Wenchang had been sighing in his house for two days, leaving his head buzzing.

"What am I supposed to do now?"

Dongyunzi rolled his eyes. "If you're asking me, who am I supposed to ask?"

"I only came out of seclusion a year before you. I went to a museum to retrieve something of mine, and this thing called surveillance caught me."

Dongyunzi was something of a master thief. In his experience, all he had to do was knock out the guards, grab the goods, and run. Job done.

He hadn't expected this era to have so many tricks up its sleeve. People could see him without even being there.

He had miscalculated.

"A humble farmer in the morn, by dusk within the emperor's hall..."

An old-style song rang out from Perfected Lord Wenchang's roomy trouser pocket. He paused, then fished out his phone. The contact displayed on the screen read, "Dragon-Tiger Mountain Celestial Master, Perfected Person Mu Yu."

Perfected Person Mu Yu's gentle voice came from the other end of the line. The voice alone conjured the image of a cultured, middle-aged scholar.

"How have you been lately, Senior Wenchang?"

Perfected Lord Wenchang sighed and repeated all the complaints he had aired to Dongyunzi.

Perfected Person Mu Yu listened quietly, waiting until Perfected Lord Wenchang finished complaining before explaining the reason for the call.

"If you are unsure how to proceed, Senior, I may have a workable solution."

"What solution?" Perfected Lord Wenchang asked eagerly.

"Have you looked into the situation abroad, Senior? Foreign countries elect their highest leaders through voting, with no age limit."

"Really?" Perfected Lord Wenchang was astonished. Before entering seclusion, he had known a little about foreign lands, but he hadn't been particularly interested and had never looked into them deeply. He had never imagined their highest leaders were chosen this way.

He turned to Dongyunzi, who had a year's experience of modern life. "What do you think of that idea?"

Dongyunzi had been listening beside him the whole time. He could hear everything clearly without the speakerphone.

After briefly considering how literary Dao cultivation worked, his eyes lit up, and he gave an affirmative answer.

"Worth a try."

Those three simple words reinvigorated Perfected Lord Wenchang.

"Fellow Daoist Mu Yu, your long experience of modern life certainly has made you knowledgeable."

"I wouldn't dare take the credit. One of my disciple's classmates came up with the idea," Perfected Person Mu Yu said hastily.

"An immortal cultivator too?"

"Just reached the Qi Refining Stage yesterday."

Perfected Lord Wenchang ended the call, determined to properly thank this classmate.

For now, however, he needed to discuss the feasibility of cultivating abroad.

"Why not try a small African country first?" Dongyunzi snapped his fingers, and a globe-shaped world map appeared in the air. With a casual swipe, he brought Africa into view.

With Perfected Lord Wenchang's abilities, becoming president of a small African country would be easy.

"Isn't Africa full of Kunlun Slaves? No, absolutely not." Perfected Lord Wenchang refused outright.

"Which foreign country is the strongest?" Perfected Lord Wenchang asked.

An ordinary literary Dao cultivator could improve their cultivation in a small African country. His realm, however, was too high. To advance any further, he needed a powerful nation.

After a slight hesitation, Dongyunzi showed Perfected Lord Wenchang a country across the ocean.

"The United States."

"There?" Perfected Lord Wenchang was surprised. In his memory, that country had been quite backward, and it was younger than he was. To think it had developed so quickly.

"But according to literary Dao cultivation methods, you need to follow the country's rules. You probably aren't eligible to become president," Dongyunzi cautioned.

"Why? Is there an age limit too?"

"No, but there are two requirements you can't meet. First, you have to have been born in that country. Second, you have to have lived there for fourteen years."

"That's all? Neither is a problem." Perfected Lord Wenchang was unconcerned.

"Neither is a problem?" Dongyunzi was startled and reminded his friend, "You literary Dao cultivators can't falsify things."

Perfected Lord Wenchang pointed at the United States. "Haven't I told you? My parents were both cultivators. Five hundred years ago, when my mother was carrying me, they were traveling the world. I happened to be born right here."

"It is my birthplace, after all, so I've visited from time to time. Added together, my stays certainly amounted to more than fourteen years."

"The only problem is that this country didn't exist when I was born... But that shouldn't matter much. If it doesn't work, I'll try another country." Brimming with confidence, Perfected Lord Wenchang gazed at the map with burning eyes, feeling as though a broad road to success had opened before him.