Gua, you really do love science

The moment Gua saw Orochimaru appear before him, he knew he was in trouble.

You're one of the Sannin, and you're coming after an elementary school kid?

That's hardly playing fair.

It seemed his silent wish for Itachi to be abducted hadn't come true. Instead, it had boomeranged back and hit him in the head.

Orochimaru had come to abduct him.

"Gua-kun."

Orochimaru spoke with a smile.

Gua's face remained largely expressionless.

He wanted to keep walking.

He was just an elementary school kid, no match for Orochimaru anyway. If the man wanted to abduct him, he might as well let him. If Orochimaru was only here to sexually harass him a little, all the better.

At least he'd live to eat dinner tonight.

Sometimes, you couldn't take things too seriously in the Shinobi World. If you could survive, you survived. If you couldn't, that was that.

If you insisted on struggling to live when survival was impossible, you'd only suffer all the more.

Just like Obito. Once he put on that mask, even Kamui couldn't hide his tears...

But what could he do? The pain was real. That boy named Obito should have died at Kannabi Bridge that day.

If he could choose again, he would probably make that choice too.

At least, that was what Gua thought.

"Gua-kun, it seems you really are just as the rumors say."

Orochimaru turned and pressed a hand onto Gua's shoulder, refusing to let him walk any farther.

He had lured the protector away precisely so he could abduct Gua. How could he let Gua leave now?

Sure enough, Gua stopped walking.

He stood there without moving.

"Gua, do you believe in science?"

Orochimaru licked his lips and circled back around in front of Gua.

"Yes."

Gua answered.

As a young man of the modern age, if he didn't believe in science, was he supposed to believe in God?

"Then are you willing to devote your life to science?"

"I don't think I am."

"Why?" Orochimaru actually seemed surprised. Someone who believed in science was unwilling to devote his life to it? And he called that believing in science?

If you really believe in science, you should be like me.

Give your entire self to science.

"Because my mom is waiting for me to come home for dinner."

Gua answered matter-of-factly, in the same flat tone he used every day, with little emotion to be heard.

"Mom..."

Orochimaru murmured, then chuckled. "Gua-kun, those feelings are useless."

Gua had truly had enough.

Just because you don't have a mom, I'm not allowed to have one either?

Fuck you!

You fucking animal!

But Gua didn't swear aloud. He was one of Konoha's few upstanding citizens.

He had only one thought now. Mom, don't wait for me. I won't be coming home for dinner tonight.

He probably wouldn't get to eat tonight's Beef Hot Pot.

Sure enough, when Gua remained silent, Orochimaru spoke and revealed his true nature.

"You're a very obedient child, Gua. But for the sake of science, you'll still have to come with me."

Gua was speechless.

Damn it! Can't you abduct someone else?

I haven't even awakened my Sharingan. What use is abducting me?

What Gua didn't know was that Orochimaru didn't dare abduct anyone who had awakened their Sharingan, and doing so wasn't easy either. This was Konoha, after all.

Until now, he had only abducted civilians and ordinary ninja.

He hadn't even dared touch anyone with a kekkei genkai.

Gua was his first.

"Okay."

Gua nodded in agreement.

What else could he do?

He couldn't win a fight, so he might as well spare himself some suffering.

Once they reached the lab, he'd ask Orochimaru to give him some anesthetic.

Close his eyes, open them again, and his whole life would be over.

Though Mom and Dad would probably cry.

Thinking this, Gua still followed Orochimaru.

He had no choice.

Before absolute strength, everything was powerless.

Still, Gua hadn't given up completely.

He remembered that chapter of Kushina and Minato's love story.

When Kushina was abducted, she had broken sticks into pieces and left them on the ground as markers. Minato followed the sticks and found her, and then their hearts fluttered and they fell in love.

He figured he could do that too.

But as a delicate, helpless boy, he could only play the role of "Kushina."

He didn't have any sticks.

Sticks weren't easy to find right under Orochimaru's nose.

But Gua had toilet paper!

Um... leftovers from taking a dump...

Anyway, never mind where it came from. As long as it worked.

Gua tore off little pieces and dropped them on the ground. They were white and conspicuous, forming a trail along the way.

This taught us a lesson: don't throw away leftover paper. Put it on a resale app... no, put it in your pocket... it might come in handy...

Gua and Orochimaru walked farther and farther away.

Behind them, they left a long trail of tiny scraps of white toilet paper.

Orochimaru didn't suspect a thing.

He never even looked back.

That was mainly thanks to how obedient Gua was. Orochimaru felt that suspecting Gua of trying to escape would be projecting his own petty nature onto an upright soul.

Though he was indeed petty.

He wasn't quite that petty.

As one of the Sannin, if he couldn't even match a child's generosity of spirit, surely he'd look down on himself.

By a roadside in Konoha.

It was Sunday, and Hana Inuzuka was in a wonderful mood. She was going out to jump around, run, and play with her dogs.

The three Haimaru brothers ran fast, and Hana Inuzuka ran excitedly along with them.

Until she grew tired.

Hana Inuzuka crouched by the roadside, and only then did she notice the little scraps of white paper scattered over the ground.

"Some villagers have no manners at all!"

Hana Inuzuka was already used to the poor manners of Konoha's villagers.

Naturally, the kindhearted Hana Inuzuka volunteered to do the village a free service.

She cleaned up every last scrap of paper.

"Today really feels like an accomplishment!"

Before long.

Orochimaru brought Gua to a secret base.

It looked extremely well hidden.

It lay in a neglected woodland, rarely visited, with trees so thick it took two people to reach around their trunks. They grew densely together, like an ancient forest.

Gua hadn't even known Konoha had a place like this.

It seemed Orochimaru was still very cautious.

The tree before them was hollow. Its trunk had been completely emptied out, allowing the two of them to walk straight inside.

Gua simply tossed the last of the paper in his hand at the entrance.

Then he followed Orochimaru inside.

He'd let things take their course.

Hopefully Orochimaru only wanted some red blood cells. Then he could treat this as a voluntary blood donation.

He just feared the man would turn him into an anatomy cadaver...

Inside the hollow trunk stood a door, an old, decaying iron door covered in patches of rust. When the rust landed on his lips, it felt like licking blood.

Gua felt uncomfortable.

Could anyone really conduct experiments in a place like this?

This was like Hua Tuo trying to split Cao Cao's skull open with a sharp axe.

Wasn't this an all-germ environment?

Gua felt a chill of fear.

Now he didn't even want Orochimaru drawing his blood. He suspected Orochimaru probably reused all his syringes, and he might end up with AIDS.

The door opened.

Gua followed Orochimaru into his secret base.

It wasn't high-tech at all. It was even rather crude, which fit Konoha's current level of development perfectly.

A secondhand metal box scavenged from who knew where served as a workbench.

Assorted unidentified glass bottles served as test tubes, petri dishes, and flasks. He even spotted a complete set of distillation equipment.

There was also something wrapped in sheet metal that resembled a microscope.

"Why haven't you put a lid on your petri dish?"

Gua pointed at an uncovered object resembling a petri dish on the metal table. There seemed to be a moving clump of something inside it.

"What's a petri dish?"

Orochimaru looked back in confusion.

His gaze fell on the open glass container Gua was pointing at.

After a moment of silence, Orochimaru asked, "Why does it need a lid?"

Gua: "..."

Gua hadn't attended college, but he had attended high school!

"If you leave a petri dish uncovered, won't bacteria in the air contaminate it? Then your experiment won't be properly controlled."

Gua explained it to Orochimaru using his knowledge of high school biology.

Orochimaru's expression froze for a moment, then his eyes lit up.

"I see. Controlling variables? Gua, perhaps you really do love science."

Then, with the same hand he'd just used to fiddle with some unknown liquid, Orochimaru grabbed a glass lid and slammed it down onto his petri dish.

Gua fell silent.