I Only Came to Discuss Science with Gua

Gua was practically crawling out of his skin.

Back when he was in school, he had never noticed any obsessive-compulsive tendencies.

You dumbass, Orochimaru, do you even know how to run an experiment?!

What the fuck are you doing with those filthy hands?!

Gua merely gave Orochimaru a speechless look, but he soon figured it out.

Only after the Third Shinobi World War did Orochimaru fully embrace science.

So right now, he was starting from scratch, building the foundations of biology and physics step by step-two advanced disciplines humanity had spent a century studying.

Everything had to be figured out little by little.

After this experiment, Orochimaru might start asking himself some questions.

Like why unknown organisms with flagella were growing among his Hashirama cells!

Orochimaru seemed to be preparing something. With nothing to do for the moment, Gua felt none of the urgency of a man about to die.

What good would panicking do?

Itachi, that sword of Damocles, had been hanging over my head for six years already. My nerves had long since been worn numb to the threat of death.

Besides, I just let Itachi go today.

I was planning to win that guy over. That just goes to show how I felt about life and death...

Wait, no!

Gua's heart clenched.

What the hell? I just let Itachi go today!

Oh no, my mom, my dad, my clan!!

Gua started to panic.

He had personally sent his own clansmen to the chopping block.

Was this the Uchiha's destiny?

"Gua, I think you might truly be a scientific genius."

After arranging a few things, Orochimaru turned to Gua.

Gua tugged at the corners of his mouth, producing an ugly smile.

My whole clan was done for.

Hard to be happy about that.

More importantly, I was done for too.

"Lord Orochimaru, can we talk this over? Could you not kill me?"

For the first time, Gua made a plea.

Orochimaru smiled. "Of course, Gua. I never said I was going to kill you."

Gua: "?"

"You're an Uchiha, after all. I only want to study your body. There must be something special about you Uchiha. Besides, if I killed you, Clan Head Fugaku would certainly want to kill me. And I'm one of the Sannin. Why would I kill anyone?" Orochimaru wore a faint, relaxed smile.

Orochimaru was always so relaxed.

Perhaps he had discovered that it helped him live longer.

"Then how do you want to study my body?"

Gua asked another question.

He was genuinely terrified of things like speculums.

"Don't be afraid, Gua-san. I only need your blood."

"Then why don't you capture some adult Uchiha?"

"Because young blood is more active, of course."

Orochimaru did know a little science.

Gua understood.

But... hasn't that syringe been used a whole bunch of times?

Looking at the syringe in Orochimaru's hand, glistening with blue liquid, he felt its safety was still open to question.

Orochimaru smiled. "Don't worry. It'll be fine. According to my statistics, there's an eighty percent chance of no abnormalities. There's only a twenty percent chance that using this syringe will cause a tiny problem."

Gua went numb.

Call him unscientific, and he was actually pretty scientific.

Call him scientific, and he wasn't all that scientific.

"If I can help you in some other way, could you not draw my blood? Or use a clean syringe?"

"Help me?"

Orochimaru did not look down on the little brat before him. He simply found him interesting.

"Of course."

Over the next several hours, Gua began racking his brains.

He poured out all his high school knowledge and chewed it over all over again.

"Your microscope is too dark. You could add a concave mirror underneath. That way, when the light is dim, you can focus it and make your specimen brighter."

"I see~"

"This should be for distillation, right? I'd suggest adding a condenser tube between the two flasks. That would effectively stop the vaporized liquid from mixing back into your raw material."

"Is that so~"

"Your lab environment isn't very good. There are lots of microorganisms in the air. If I'm not mistaken, your repeated experiments sometimes fail, and you can't find the reason."

"Oh~~~ is it because of the microorganisms in the air, Gua-kun?"

"..."

Time flew by.

Gua stalled as he explained.

He dragged things out, hoping someone would hurry up and realize he was missing. Whether it was a prince on a white horse, some blond guy, or a senior sister, he just needed some miracle worker to descend from the heavens and take him away.

Then he would belong to his rescuer.

Offering myself in marriage wasn't entirely out of the question.

What Gua did not know was that Hana Inuzuka, that helpful citizen, had cleaned up every mark he had left behind and cursed him out in passing for being such an ill-mannered Konoha resident.

Night gradually fell.

A figure darted through the woods.

He was rushing in this direction.

It was Fugaku!

Since it was already dusk and Gua still had not come home, his mother, Nai, had gone to Itachi's house. She found Itachi there, but no Gua.

At that moment, Fugaku's heart tightened. This is bad!

"Damn you, Orochimaru!"

"How dare you lay a hand on one of my clansmen!"

"And a child, at that! Are you even human?"

Fugaku was furious.

Rage burned in his chest.

Their Police Force had already located Orochimaru's experimental base. However, there had been no human experiment subjects there, so they had failed to obtain any concrete evidence.

But Fugaku was certain Gua had been taken there.

Boom!

The rusted iron door was blasted open from outside with an Explosive Tag.

Fugaku appeared in the doorway.

Gua, who was explaining high school biology to Orochimaru, looked toward the door at the same time as him.

"Clan Head Fugaku."

Gua nearly burst into tears.

Just when every path seemed blocked, a way out had appeared. He had been about to run out of ways to fool Orochimaru, and Clan Head Fugaku had actually arrived.

"Orochimaru!"

Gritting his teeth, Fugaku strode into the laboratory and slammed a fist down on the sheet-metal workbench.

Clang!

A deafening crash rang out.

The instruments on the workbench bounced wildly.

Orochimaru was heartbroken.

"Clan Head Fugaku! You're ruining my experiments!"

Orochimaru watched helplessly as one of his precious petri dishes was smashed to pieces by Fugaku's punch. It felt like a knife twisting in his heart.

"Orochimaru, you dare abduct a member of my Uchiha clan?"

Fugaku stepped forward and pulled Gua behind him.

Gua felt utterly safe.

That's our clan head for you.

Taking on one of the Sannin head-on. Yes, get him just like that!

Orochimaru said, "I only came to discuss science with Gua!"

Discuss science, my fucking ass!

Gua wanted nothing more than to curse him out.

But he couldn't. He had to be an officially certified good boy.

"Gua, you're not hurt, are you?"

Fugaku shot Orochimaru a vicious glare, then turned to Gua and asked.

Gua nodded. "No."