A Mountain of Shit Meets Its Soulmate in Swill!

"Good grief."

"If Utahime saw me looking this pathetic, she'd laugh her head off."

Punched clear to the far end of the forest, Satoru Gojo got up and brushed the dirt off himself.

His gaze swept over the hole the punch had blasted through his shirt. He froze for a moment, then broke into a genuine smile.

"When was the last time I got hurt...?"

"Must've been back at Jujutsu High, when Fushiguro's gambling addict of a dad stabbed me a few dozen times..."

Satoru Gojo smiled and touched the spot on his forehead that had once been stabbed clean through. "Been a while since I felt pain. This guy's more capable than I thought."

"Sure, I said I wanted my students to get stronger and catch up to me soon, but this guy's catching up way too fast!"

Satoru Gojo's Six Eyes instantly locked onto Jiahao, who was running his mouth several hundred meters away. "Sorry, but I'm not mentally prepared to lose to a student just yet."

"Then let's get a little serious!"

Satoru Gojo hovered in midair, a hint of madness creeping into his upturned lips.

An absolute powerhouse, alone and cold at the summit.

That long-forgotten pain rekindled the fire in Satoru Gojo's blood.

He loosely cupped his hands, tiny specks of light slowly spilling from his fingertips.

Deep blue and piercing crimson-pinpricks of light compressed and fused at his fingertips.

As the purple light at Satoru Gojo's fingertips grew denser, even the Tengen Barrier enveloping Jujutsu High began to groan.

The earth trembled. The dense forest began twisting and breaking apart along its edges.

Trees so thick that several people could barely encircle them were uprooted as though by invisible hands. Battered by boundless attraction and repulsion, they roared skyward amid clouds of splinters and dust!

"Hey, hey, hey! What the hell's happening over there?!"

Bracing against the gale, Kugisaki pointed a trembling hand toward the far end of the forest. "That white-haired bastard isn't planning to silence all of us too, is he?!"

He got punched away by his own student, so he was going to kill every witness?

Watching the enormous trees flying through the air and the clouds churning overhead, Kugisaki and the others couldn't even tell which way to run from a Cursed Technique of this scale!

Two lunatics were beating each other up, and the bystanders were taking all the damage. Fuck!

Jiahao said, "Don't panic. You've still got me."

You're exactly why we're panicking!

Who do you think Satoru Gojo's aiming at?!

Listen to yourself! Do you have any self-awareness as a villain?!

With this scene and where you're standing, you look like some righteous sorcerer helping us fight the Gojo Cursed Spirit!

Kugisaki and the others cursed inwardly, then sensibly lined up behind Jiahao.

At the front of the group, Jiahao gazed toward the far end of the forest. "Got your blood pumping, huh, Gojo?"

Throwing out an ultimate move without caring about your students' safety-do you trust Todo to teleport them away in time, or do you trust me to step up and protect them?

Firing a blast at my Tycoon Power Bank, Itadori. You're banking on me not simply dodging, aren't you?

Using his own students as hostages to threaten him-Jiahao suddenly wasn't sure which of them was the real supervillain.

"The guy on the left always loses a beam clash. Good thing I picked the right side in advance."

Jiahao raised both hands, palms facing outward. His scarlet right eye, with its three spinning Tomoe, took on a layer of empty white.

Behind him, Panda's bear eyes went wide along with those of the other sorcerers who had watched Naruto. They knew this move!!

This was Peihao's Almighty Push!

Just then, purple radiance erupted from the far end of the forest, filling heaven and earth and stabbing into everyone's eyes like a sharp blade.

Everything in its path crumbled. Trees and lakes alike turned to drifting ash before its unstoppable advance!

At the same time, the furiously spinning vortex at Jiahao's palms visibly expanded!

At its center was a pinpoint of white light, just like Jiahao's right eye at that moment. Around it spun a mistlike black hole!

The ground beneath his feet silently vanished. Space around the vortex was forcibly shattered, crackling in a rapid series of glasslike breaks!

As the vortex expanded, vast tears in space welled with indescribable colors of chaos. Air was sucked in from every direction, forming an actual... force-eight gale!

Jiahao shouted, "Kamui: Chaotic Domain!"

Satoru Gojo shouted, "Hollow Purple!"

When the purple light filling heaven and earth collided with the silently annihilating black hole, the entire world fell deathly silent!

A brief silence...

As the two terrifying forces began to erupt at the heart of the forest, the entire combat zone for the Goodwill Event gradually disintegrated.

BOOOOM!!!!

A nuclear-blast roar shook heaven and earth!

The clouds rolled backward, and the destructive shock waves collided endlessly, piling into tornadoes that linked the earth to the sky!

The forest, lakes, pavilions, and the scoring Cursed Spirits confined to designated areas at the Goodwill Event site-all of it became an enormous crater nearly a kilometer across!

The horrifying aftershocks still ravaged the world. Amid the dust swirling through the air came Kugisaki and the others' heartfelt greetings, generously extending to certain people's relatives.

Forced into flight, Kugisaki yelled, "Satoru Gojo, you... #*&!"

Falling without a parachute, Mai yelled, "You psycho, I... φ*ω!"

Their affectionate greetings scattered on the wind. Then, to the sound of Todo's clapping, everyone returned safely to the ground.

Several minutes later, the dust finally settled.

Itadori and the others stared slack-jawed at the crater stretching roughly a hundred meters beneath their feet. "This is way too ridiculous!"

Kugisaki said, "Are those two psychos even from Earth? Did Jujutsu High run blood tests when they enrolled? They're not alien Jujutsu Sorcerers who infiltrated Earth, are they?!"

Maki looked around. "Speaking of those two psychos, where are they? Don't tell me they killed each other?"

Panda frowned and chimed in. "That'd be trouble. If Satoru Gojo kicked the bucket, even draining Yaga's secret stash wouldn't cover the repairs here."

Just as everyone was preparing to climb down into the crater to search for the two lunatics' remains, a familiar, flippant voice came from behind them.

"Yo, everybody!"

Looking slightly worse for wear, Satoru Gojo flashed two rows of white teeth and waved. "Glad you're all okay! I thought the shock waves might've killed you!"

"Okay...? How can you still be smiling, you white-haired bastard?!"

"You were trying to silence us just now, weren't you? I nearly died!"

Covered in dirt and dust, Kugisaki stopped suppressing her impulses. She raised her Hammer and charged straight at Satoru Gojo.

Watching Satoru Gojo continue to grin, Maki adjusted her glasses. "Megumi, bring me my cleaver."

Without a word, Fushiguro selected a three-meter-long golden cleaver from his shadow.

An afterimage flashed as Maki swung the three-meter Dragon-Slaying Weapon down hard at Satoru Gojo's forehead.

They'd come to an ordinary Goodwill Event. The Cursed Spirits that suddenly appeared hadn't killed them, but their own side nearly had. How could they possibly swallow that much resentment?!

After watching for a while, the Kyoto group couldn't help joining the mob beating on the strongest.

They couldn't break through Limitless. This was purely to vent.

Amid the melee, Kasumi Miwa quietly picked a good angle and even took a selfie with Satoru Gojo.

Only when everyone collapsed on the ground in exhaustion did Satoru Gojo yawn and ask, "Where's Jiahao? Don't tell me that slightly serious hit of mine killed him?"

"His file says his family's overseas. Looks like we'll have to arrange the funeral ourselves."

"So, what should we serve at the funeral feast tonight?"

"Chargrilled Gojo cat?"

"Deep-fried white-haired brains?"

Dressed in a fresh white outfit, Jiahao emerged from the void with a family bucket of chicken in his arms and offered his suggestions.

Seeing the culprit looking so carefree, a drumstick in one hand and a cola in the other, the exhausted victims' alliance erupted with resentment once again.

Goddammit, one Satoru Gojo was already enough of a show-off!

Who knew there was always a bigger show-off out there? Now an even worse one had turned up!

Were these two seriously not going to debut as a show-off king duo?!

Grinding her teeth, Kugisaki had even thought up a fan chant for the two psychotic kings of showing off before her!

A lowly mountain and foul water find kindred spirits...

Even that line wasn't enough for these two assholes!

It should've been...

A mountain of shit meets its soulmate in swill!

P.S. The new book is up! All you awesome bros, please hit the update reminder and leave a good review!

Send some free gifts, and I'll post an extra chapter this afternoon!