Sunshine, ocean, beach.
The sky was impossibly blue, the water clear enough to see the bottom.
The salty, damp sea breeze swept fine sand into their faces. Everything felt utterly real.
What looked like nature in all its splendor was merely an illusory domain constructed from immense amounts of cursed energy.
"Yo, everyone!"
Flip-flops and a floral shirt.
Dressed for a leisurely vacation, Jiahao passed through the barrier, holding an oversized coconut filled with coconut milk, a straw poking out of it.
Hearing that familiar voice behind him, Mahito, who was building a sandcastle, felt his heart quiver.
"You're here, Jiahao! We've been waiting ages!"
Kenjaku, also wearing a floral shirt, rose from his lounge chair. His tone was as familiar as if he were greeting an old friend he hadn't seen in years. "Come, sit over here. We saved you the spot with the best view."
A beach umbrella, ice-cold cola-Kenjaku had even thoughtfully laid a white towel over the lounge chair.
Looking at Kenjaku's utterly sincere smile, Jiahao realized something very clearly...
When it came to acting, he was still nowhere near a match for this thousand-year-old scheming bastard.
Earning valor points from the worldly Kenjaku was too difficult. Mahito playing in the sand was clearly much more lovable.
Watching the valor points float up above Mahito's head, Jiahao's smile grew even brighter.
Sensing the increasingly searing stare at his back, Mahito reluctantly looked up from the sand and forced a twisted smile onto his face. "You're here, classmate Jiahao."
"What kind of talk is that?"
Feigning anger, Jiahao strode toward Mahito, who was shaking like he had Parkinson's. "Classmate? Are we really that distant?"
"Sure, there was a tiny misunderstanding when we first met, but fighting is how friendships start!"
"As the saying goes, curses smile and let bygones be bygones."
"You're not still mad at me for giving you such a difficult math problem last time, are you?"
"I didn't even hold it against you when you threw a brick at me. Surely a little math game doesn't warrant that."
Was the fucking math problem the issue?!
What kind of Grim Reaper edition minigame was that?!
You chopped off more than a dozen of my heads and dozens of my five limbs, and you're really not going to mention a word of it!
You were acting out Tokyo Ghoul? Are you sure it wasn't the jujutsu version of Hannibal?!
Now, just hearing "what's one thousand minus seven" sent phantom pain through all five of Mahito's limbs.
If only I could beat him...
Mahito looked up, rigidly maintaining his fake smile. "Got it, Brother Hao!"
"There, that's more like it!"
Smiling, Jiahao patted Mahito's little head. "If anything happens, just use your big brother's name. Those people at Jujutsu High won't dare touch you."
Won't dare touch me... they'll just hack me to death, right?!
Mahito's mouth twitched, and he nodded.
Looking pleased, Jiahao sucked some coconut milk through his straw, then turned his gaze toward Jogo, who was staring out at the sea.
"The local cursed spirits have no manners."
Jiahao flung the coconut, hitting Jogo squarely on the head. "Hey, Volcano Head over there! Come assemble!"
"Standing there looking all depressed-watching your mom's burial at sea?"
Kenjaku: "..."
Even if I were trying to pick a fight, I couldn't come up with that.
The air temperature soared, and the azure seawater bubbled and boiled.
Just as Jogo was about to go get himself killed, Mahito grabbed him from behind.
"Hold it in!"
For once, Mahito sounded serious. He whispered, "Whether it's to avenge Hanami or for the great cause of cursed spirits, hold it in with everything you've got!"
"This isn't the time to turn against him!"
With that, Mahito slammed a full-force punch into Jogo's forehead, knocking him into the sea.
Suppressing his disgust, Mahito smiled and waved at Jiahao in the distance. "Brother Hao, Jogo's just a little spirit who doesn't know any better. I've taught him a lesson for you!"
Jiahao said, "I'll let it slide for your sake, little Mahito, but there won't be a next time!"
"Hurry up and get Volcano Head and that octopus out of the sea. Meeting time!"
After a while, Jogo, who had soaked in the sea until he cooled down, gathered beside Jiahao with the wide-eyed, blinking octopus.
"First item on the agenda!"
Sitting bolt upright in his beach chair, Jiahao swept his dark gaze over the four special grades-Kenjaku, Jogo, Mahito, and Dagon. "Do you know what our organization lacks most right now?"
"To overturn the positions of humans and curses, and utterly eradicate the human heretics!"
"To plan the eternal great cause of cursed spirits, we're still missing the most crucial piece!"
Wait... which of us was supposed to be the cursed spirit?
Watching Jiahao's righteous, solemn expression, Jogo nearly began questioning his own identity.
Eradicate the human heretics... unless I'm remembering wrong, you're the fucking human, and we're the heretics!
If you really want to eradicate something, could you quietly find a corner, hang up a hemp rope, and go for a swing...
Swing straight into another world!
Beside him, Kenjaku looked up from his thoughts. "I think it must be unity and camaraderie!"
Inspired, Mahito raised his hand to add, "Integrity and kindness!"
Kenjaku nodded, looking as solemn as someone preparing for graduate entrance exams.
"Unity, camaraderie, integrity, and kindness are the traditional virtues of our cursed spirit race, the indispensable spiritual pillars supporting our struggle against the human heretics!"
The moment Kenjaku opened his mouth, Jogo felt a little sick.
You narrow-eyed fucker aren't a cursed spirit either, are you? Since when did our cursed spirit race pick up nasty habits like unity and camaraderie?!
Kenjaku thoughtfully handed the pale-faced Jogo a trash bag and continued, "For the eternal great cause of cursed spirits, and to live up to Brother Hao's expectations, I would like to add the following points."
"First, the four mutuals... mutual learning, mutual reference, mutual respect, and mutual understanding!"
"Second, the three musts... we must never forget our original aspirations, and always remember the mission of cursed spirits!"
"We must remain humble and cautious, and dare to fight the evil jujutsu sorcerers!"
"We must uphold Brother Hao's authority, and never permit anyone to act on their own initiative!"
At that, Jiahao, who had also been feeling a little nauseated, immediately let out a deep, hearty laugh.
"Well said, Comrade Geto, but you still haven't gotten to the main point."
Kenjaku said, "Thank you for your approval, Brother Hao."
Jiahao said, "Use my title during meetings."
"Understood, Plant Hao."
Jogo: "..."
These two weren't cursed spirits, but they didn't look human either.
Glancing at Secretary Mahito beside him, diligently taking notes in a little notebook, Jogo smiled in resignation.
An organization of cursed spirits like this might as well be destroyed.
"Ahem, all right, back to the point!"
Leader Hao cleared his throat and crossed his flip-flop-clad feet. "What we lack most is a proper name for our organization!"
"How can anyone accomplish great things without an organization name that gets people's blood pumping the instant they hear it?"
"Look at those humans. The Three Great Families, Jujutsu Headquarters... each name sounds more impressive than the last!"
"Even the gangsters brawling in villages know to call themselves the Akatsuki."
"A bunch of penniless bums drifting around at sea can call themselves the Four Emperors and the Seven Warlords."
"Little brats who drop out of school to run with gangs-the Tokyo Manji Gang!"
"People who sleep hugging their cleavers all day-the Thirteen Court Guard Squads!"
"Look at them, then look at yourselves!"
"All these years, and you couldn't even think of a decent name. I really don't know what's inside your heads!"
Magma, you bastard!
Jogo gritted his teeth, sparks spraying from his mouth.
Picking on curses because we don't watch anime, huh?!
Are you even talking about this fucking world?!
Kenjaku cast Jogo a casual glance, as if warning him.
Turning back toward Jiahao, Kenjaku instantly switched to a smiling face. "Then, in Plant Hao's opinion, what should our organization be called?"
Jiahao gave him a cold look. "If the leader has to do everything, what am I keeping you lot around for?"
Crack!
Jogo snapped one of his own front teeth.
Kenjaku rubbed his chin and thought for a moment. "How about Cursed Calamities? Simple and easy to understand."
"Cursed Calamities..."
Mahito murmured the name as he wrote it in his notebook.
Jiahao shook his head. "That name's a bit clichéd."
Mahito nodded and immediately crossed it out.
Kenjaku said, "Then how about Spirit Rocket Team?"
Jiahao said, "What, are you planning to make a guest appearance in Pokémon?"
Kenjaku said, "No, 'spirit' represents Mahito, 'fire' can represent Jogo, and as for you, you represent our organization's most powerful..."
"You're the fucking cheap one!"
"Pick another!"
Before you continue