"Who am I?"
"Dazai?"
"Hmm, Oda Sakunosuke?"
"Finally awake, you bastard of a fake boss?"
"Wait, why is the Little Dark Midget here too?"
"Like I want to be here!"
The sight of a certain little dark slug holding a bowl of medicinal soup was rarer than a painting worth ten billion.
I silently climbed out of bed and found myself in the Port Mafia's office.
But the people standing beside me were anything but normal.
Standing with Chūya was my close friend, who was also my partner. Farther to the right were Teacher Yaga, Satoru Gojo, and Suguru Geto. Then, looking farther over, I saw Oda Sakunosuke watching me with concern, along with Tōnosuke.
I was utterly bewildered.
Who am I? Where am I? What am I supposed to do? Didn't I take Brain down with me?
So I cautiously spoke up and expressed my confusion.
"Partner?"
"Don't ask. All I know is that someone stepped on me while I was on my way to cosplay this morning, and when I woke up, I was here."
Clearly, my close friend was just as confused. He stared blankly at me, and I stared blankly at him. We both had bewildering futures ahead of us.
"So, can anyone explain..."
"Ow!"
Before I could finish, Teacher Yaga's iron fist had landed on my head. He angrily listed my crimes, looking absolutely furious.
"Teacher Yaga, I think you could calm down a little."
As I spoke, I darted around the group, hiding like a monkey hopping about.
Then I got put in my place. Aaaaah, when did my partner get so good at hand-to-hand combat?
I was confused. I didn't understand. I quietly hid behind my partner.
[Well, everything was your own choice.]
"Book?"
[It's me.]
"My choice? Was it? Hmm, you have a point. Everything was my own choice."
As I spoke, I darted this way and that to evade them, only to be forced to drink a bowl of bitter medicine. Then I turned into a half-dead mackerel sprawled on the bed.
"That's so mean, so mean, so mean! Aaaaah, that's seriously so mean! I'm not Osamu Dazai, so why are you taking out your resentment toward him on me too?"
I rolled indignantly around on the bed, blinking as I accused Chūya Nakahara, who stood behind Boss Osamu Dazai.
"Your partner gave this to me. He said he probably wouldn't be able to resist you acting cute, so he asked me to give you the medicine without worrying about his feelings."
Me: ...
Me: cursing up a storm.
Furious, I draped myself all over my close friend and whispered in his ear over and over, "Am I not your dearest friend anymore? Am I not your cutest partner anymore? That's so mean, so mean, so mean."
My close friend had never been able to resist me acting cute, so I seized the opportunity to make all sorts of unreasonable demands.
And despite complaining, he ultimately agreed to my demands.
Nozomu Sakai and Sōsuke Mizukawa happened to witness this scene as they hurried over.
Their eyes looked ready to pop out of their heads, their little eyes filled with enormous confusion.
They looked as though they were about to condemn me to death.
With that thought, I decisively grabbed my close friend, who was still standing there in a daze, borrowed the Book's power, and rushed straight back to our original world.
Bliss!
"Home! I've missed home so much."
As I spoke, I flung myself onto the bed and rolled around on my own bed.
"By the way, Chao, isn't it kind of bad for us to ditch them like this?"
Me: ...
Then I heard an angry roar from outside: "Qichao!"
My close friend and I: Uh-oh. We're done for.
Before you continue