Yuji Itadori, Statue Edition

"Sorry for the wait~"

Satoru Gojo appeared, pushing a large box.

"Everyone's here, huh?" Satoru Gojo waved at the Kyoto Jujutsu High students. "I went overseas on business, so now it's time to hand out souvenirs~"

"That came out of nowhere."

"He must still be jet-lagged."

Satoru Gojo handed out the pile of souvenirs in his arms one by one. "Here, these are charms from some tribe. One for everyone from Kyoto."

"None for Utahime!"

"I don't want one!!!"

"Edano, come here, this one's yours!" Satoru Gojo handed me one too.

"Huh? I get one too?" I examined the ugly-cute charm in my hand.

Nobara Kugisaki was furious that she hadn't gotten a souvenir. "Huh? You idiot teacher! Where are ours?!"

"Scumbag." Maki saw right through him.

"Next, here's a present for everyone from Tokyo~" Pink bubbles rose around Satoru Gojo as he spun a full 360 degrees and struck an elaborate pose.

"..." × n

"Adults getting all worked up are so gross."

"Pfft, cough, cough, cough." My whole body shook with suppressed laughter, and I hurriedly covered my mouth to keep from laughing out loud.

"Edano, what's wrong?"

"I-I'm fine. Cough, cough. Really, I'm fine."

Megumi Fushiguro frowned. "Your face is red. Did you catch a cold? Are you running a fever?"

"No, it's just... mmph... Gojo-sensei... pfft, hahahahahahahaha..."

At last, I couldn't hold it in anymore and burst into utterly undignified laughter.

"..."

Only after laughing for ages did I realize everyone was watching me. Satoru Gojo in particular looked at me as though I were a lover who'd betrayed him, and I instantly fell silent.

I turned around and looked up. "Panda."

"What's wrong?"

"Let me hide in your arms." I buried myself in them, unwilling to face any of this.

Bang!

The lid of the box flew open.

"Hey! O Pa Pe!" Yuji Itadori made his grand entrance from the box, striking a pose he thought looked cool.

Satoru Gojo beamed. "It's Itadori, the so-called 'Vessel'!"

"Uh..." × 3

Wide eyes, furrowed brows, twitching mouths, and washed-out reaction faces × 3.

"Waaaaaah... ah? You don't look surprised at all!" Yuji Itadori turned to stone.

"This is Yuji Itadori, 'Sukuna's Vessel'~"

Th-the Kyoto Jujutsu High students are completely absorbed in their souvenirs!!! Yuji Itadori screamed inside.

"Satoru Gojo!" The aged voice brimmed with anger.

"Huh?" Satoru Gojo brought me and the still-petrified Yuji Itadori over to the two principals.

"Ta-da~ Takechi, who was once sentenced to death, and Yuji Itadori, who was also once sentenced to death!"

I could only sweat awkwardly as Gakuganji stared at us with his clouded eyes.

What a wonderful introduction, Satoru Gojo. Never introduce us again!

"What's going on? Wasn't she supposed to sit this out?"

"Come on~ Don't be so inflexible, old man. Young people should spend more time playing together."

"...You little brat!"

"Thank goodness, thank goodness. I was worried about what I'd do if the shock sent you to an early grave~" Satoru Gojo bent over, practically begging to be punched.

Oh my god, that butt is so perky... wait, Satoru Gojo, stop pointing your butt at me!

I silently pushed the statue edition of Yuji Itadori back.

Nobara Kugisaki kicked the box. "Hey."

"I-I'm here..."

"What the hell was that supposed to be?!"

"I wanted to surprise you..."

Megumi Fushiguro gave him a cool glance. "More like give us a scare."

Yuji Itadori, out.

"The Tokyo-Kyoto Sister-School Goodwill Event will last two days. The first day is a team battle: 'The Thrilling, Heart-Pounding Cursed Spirit Extermination Showdown'!"

"The rules are simple. The first team to exorcise the designated Grade 2 Cursed Spirit within the assigned area wins. There are also numerous cursed spirits of Grade 3 and below in the area. If no winner has been decided by sunset, the team with the most kills wins."

"There are no other rules. Of course, you're allowed to interfere with your opponents, but you're all comrades who fight curses together. The purpose of the Goodwill Event is to learn about your comrades and yourselves through competition."

Masamichi Yaga held Satoru Gojo firmly in place. Satoru Gojo kept struggling, but it did him no good. "Under no circumstances may you kill your opponents or seriously injure them."

"Yaga, let me keep a little dignity in front of my students!"

Utahime laughed gleefully beside them.

"That is all. The competition begins at noon. You're dismissed for now."

Kyoto Jujutsu High meeting.

"Kill Sukuna's Vessel, Yuji Itadori. He is not human, so you will not be held responsible. It will be treated as an accident."

"Have no reservations, and do not hesitate."

Gakuganji paused. "If possible, it would be best to dispose of Takechi as well. She is an uncontrollable variable."

Kasumi Miwa broke into a nervous sweat. "Uh... isn't she Special Grade?"

"What's all this talk about disposing of her? Isn't she here precisely because you couldn't get rid of her?"

"Enough. This is the ideal outcome." Gakuganji cut them off and opened his clouded eyes to look at Noritoshi Kamo. "What must you remember when delivering the final blow to an enemy jujutsu sorcerer?"

"Yes, sir. To prevent him from becoming a curse after death, we must kill him with cursed energy."

"Correct. As long as someone else's cursed energy delivers the final blow, there will be no problem. Yuji Itadori currently controls the body. As long as Sukuna doesn't emerge, he has only one life..."

Bang!

Aoi Todo kicked the meeting-room door to pieces and started walking out. "Boring. Do it yourselves."

Noritoshi Kamo kept his eyes closed. "Come back, Todo. The principal hasn't finished speaking."

"Takada is appearing as a guest on the walking show that starts at eleven. Do I need to explain further?"

"Just record it. Come back."

"I'm watching both the live broadcast and the recording! Are you looking down on me?"

Mai Zenin folded her arms, sweating awkwardly. "Is that really the point?!"

"Listen up, all of you. You too, old man. You people with your lousy taste in women have already disappointed me. Schemes, strategies, do whatever you want."

"But if you ever try ordering me around again, I'll kill you."

"..."

Kasumi Miwa frowned and looked worriedly at Noritoshi Kamo. "What do we do? He doesn't look like he's going to follow the plan. The principal's gone too, and I don't want that guy killing me."

"He'll charge straight at the Tokyo team anyway. Let him go wild on his own, and we'll use the opportunity to deal with Yuji Itadori."

"What about that Special Grade? She's a 'problem child' in a white uniform, and a Cursed Speech User at that. She must pack a serious punch..."

Noritoshi Kamo considered it for a moment. "We'll all go together to kill Yuji Itadori. Leave the Special Grade to Todo."

"But knowing Todo, won't he stop fighting halfway through? If that Special Grade comes over to help..."

"..."

Everyone glared viciously at Momo Nishimiya. Could you say something that doesn't jinx us for once!!!

"So? What did you want to say?"

"Huh? Why are you angry?"

"I'm not angry."

"Right, I haven't done anything, after all."

"..."

Satoru Gojo composed himself and said seriously, "Someone at Jujutsu High is working with curse users, or possibly cursed spirits."

"Impossible! Curse users are one thing, but cursed spirits..."

"Cursed spirits of that caliber have been popping up constantly lately. They understand human speech, form groups, and follow plans. That person might think they're only working with curse users."

"I'd like you to investigate the Kyoto side, Utahime."

"...What will you do if I'm the mole?"

"No way, no way. You're so weak, Utahime, and you don't have the guts~"

Bang!

Limitless stopped the teacup flying toward him.