The trip to Hawaii (V)

(III) Toji

Toji had saved Yusaku Kudo entirely because he desperately wanted to hear the rest of the story.

So even with his arm blasted open, he hadn't forgotten to ask Yusaku Kudo, "And then? What did you do next?"

Covering Shinichi Kudo's eyes, Yusaku Kudo said helplessly, "I'll tell you once we've gotten your wounds dressed at the hospital."

And then... there was no next part, because once they reached the hospital, his daughter arrived.

Yusaku Kudo drew the curtain, which smelled faintly of disinfectant, turning the hospital room into a private meeting room for three men. Seven-year-old Shinichi was left outside the curtain, ostensibly to keep watch.

Toji took off his ruined floral shirt and changed into the clothes Yusaku Kudo had bought, covering the gauze on his arm that was still seeping blood.

"Yuanli and Megumi are right outside. Have you figured out how to explain this to your kids?" Furuya Sō pressed his brow, feeling that this extra money had been exhausting to earn.

Toji turned his gaze toward Yusaku Kudo. "You've met her?"

Yusaku Kudo rubbed his chin, recalling his conversation with the little girl. Rather than a conversation, it had been more like a one-sided interrogation.

Yusaku Kudo hadn't originally intended to tell the little girl much, but her questions had come thick and fast, and they were skillfully arranged. Answering many of them was effectively the same as telling her everything. Toward the end, he had simply stopped hiding things and tactfully told her the whole truth.

"Your daughter is very intelligent. I even think she's moved beyond thinking like a child."

"What do you mean?"

Yusaku Kudo considered his wording before saying, "Her thinking is more mature than even an adult's."

As soon as he finished, the curtain opened a crack, and little Shinichi poked his head through to ask his father curiously, "What about me?"

Yusaku Kudo fell silent for a second, then immediately soothed his son. "You're very mature too, Shinichi. To become even more mature, hurry up and close the curtain, then keep standing guard-keeping watch."

"Okay. But Dad, I'll become more mature even without standing guard." The curtain swished shut, and the boy even held it tightly closed with his hands.

Yusaku Kudo exchanged a glance with Toji, smiled, and continued, "Don't put so much pressure on yourself, Mr. Zenin. Love that's too deliberate will only hurt a precocious child. So relax, follow your heart, and dare to express yourself."

Toji took note of following his heart, but daring to express himself was a little harder.

If expressing himself were easy, his relationship with Yuanli and Megumi wouldn't be such a painful struggle, and he wouldn't be Toji Zenin.

Opening his mouth wasn't hard. Expressing what he thought was.

The journey back involved both a car and a boat, leaving Toji no chance to speak privately with his children. He seemed to instinctively believe that heartfelt words were private, something he could only say when no one else was around.

He wanted to wait until they returned to their room, then turn on the floor lamp, sit on the soft woven-grass flooring, and tell his children how he felt.

But something unexpected always happened.

The lobby had been sealed off with tape, and his plans fell through again.

Yusaku Kudo noticed his displeasure and whispered to him, "You could try the kitchen's back door. They probably haven't had time to seal it properly yet."

Toji was a little impatient, and that impatience meant his mind was fixed on that one thing. He hadn't meant to ignore Yuanli.

He was simply used to solving problems alone. Fighting single-handedly was the Sorcerer Killer's strength, but it was also Toji Zenin's weakness.

He easily pushed open the kitchen's back door, then used a little brute force to keep it from closing. Once he was sure they could return to their room without obstruction, he went back to the hotel entrance, only to discover that the people he'd assumed would wait for him were gone.

When a misunderstanding arose, would the person at fault realize that they were the problem?

Toji didn't realize he'd done anything wrong. All he knew was that his family hadn't waited for him.

He lingered by the entrance. Inside his mind, the Toji Zenin from before he'd had a family urged him on. Go on. Just head back yourself. Or find a bar and have some fun to kill time, like you used to. Just look after yourself.

The Toji Zenin who had a family and had become a house-trained dog for a reason warned him from within. Stand here and wait for them. Don't go anywhere without that command. They'll come looking for you.

But the newly born Toji Zenin, the one living in the present, was silent for a long while before asking him, Are you following your heart? What do you truly want?

Three voices, three mindsets, three patterns of behavior. They were his past and his present.

The past might have been bad, but a passive person didn't have to take risks.

The present might hold the right answer, but taking the initiative meant having to change.

Initiative and passivity, a brave man and a coward-there was really only a single line between them.

Crossing that line was simple. Staying on the other side without turning back was the hard part.

Toji needed time. He needed courage.

At sunset, the hotel reopened.

As the crowd filed inside, Toji missed his children.

He stood up, still resisting change deep down, but the genuine longing he felt made him decide to follow his heart and act.

He was going to find his children.

Sometimes, Toji really was thoughtful. He went to the kitchen for food and drinks, then headed out into the night to find them.

Just as parents could always pick their own child out of a hundred children, Toji heard his children's voices on the beach over the deafening roar of the waves.

When he approached, the two little ones were huddled together for warmth.

With his astonishing eyesight, Toji saw Yuanli's surprised expression and suddenly grew nervous. Those who took the initiative always worried about whether they were doing the right thing. Fortunately, Yuanli soon gave him a knowing smile and hugged him too.

This was a good moment. He had to say something from the heart.

"I..."

"Dad, we were just thinking about you."

Yuanli gently patted his back. That soothing touch wasn't a reward, but encouragement.

"Yeah. Me too."

He had finally said it. The feeling was strange, but it left him at ease. It didn't seem so hard after all.

The three of them lay side by side on beach chairs, surrounded by an indescribable sense of comfort.

Even without warm sunshine or blue seawater, even with scenery as awful as a painting soaked in ink, they were happier at that moment than they had ever been.

"Let's go surfing together tomorrow," Toji said, voicing his thoughts.

"Dad, don't forget about your arm." Yuanli sounded a little resigned.

"It'll be fine tomorrow."

"Let's see how it is tomorrow. Your health should come first."

Toji knew Yuanli. Her words were really a gentle refusal. But he genuinely wanted to do something with his children, the way Kudo did.

"Want to go see a volcano?" the brat suddenly asked.

-A volcano? I've never seen one. Does Mount Fuji count?

"Sure," Toji answered.

"Then I'll book a trip with the guide." Yuanli had already taken out her phone and gotten to work.

Before long, the only light went out.

"It's booked. The guide will pick us up outside the hotel at nine tomorrow morning and drive us there." Yuanli was extremely efficient.

Once that was settled, none of the three spoke again, but the silence wasn't awkward. That warmth they couldn't bear to leave behind still bound them together.

If only the view were a little better. Toji felt he still had plenty to talk about with his children.

Just as that thought surfaced, several colored points of light suddenly appeared in the dark night.

The lights floated on the sea like stars over the water.

Before he could ask, Yuanli supplied the answer. "Those are fishing boats out on the sea at night."

Toji had never fished. He had no patience for entertainment that involved sitting beside a rod for hours. He liked excitement, activities that made his heart race.

But perhaps the atmosphere was simply too pleasant. He couldn't bear to leave and return to the hotel, so for the first time ever, he suggested, "How about we go sea fishing?"

"Now?"

"Yeah, now. Want to go?"

"Yes!" Megumi Zenin's voice rose, and he actually sounded a little excited.

"Okay, I'll contact the guide now to book a proper boat and fishing rods." The phone lit up again, and Yuanli was already making the call.

Toji turned to look at his two children, feeling the evening breeze, and the corners of his mouth lifted without him realizing it.

This was a happiness he'd never known before, one that belonged to the newly born Toji Zenin.