"Jay, Jay, listen to me."
Cobblepot limped around the desk in circles, with Li Jie following at an unhurried pace, baton in hand.
"Run, Oz, run!"
"Huff... I can't run fast. This is... discrimination!"
Cobblepot shouted indignantly. Li Jie shrugged as he kept walking. "Then run slowly. Either way, you're getting a beating when I catch you."
"...FUCK!" Cobblepot picked up speed and made another half lap. "Stop... hold on, Jay. I'm a congressman now."
"That's true..." Li Jie stopped, looking thoughtful. "Oz, are we friends?"
"Yes, yes, yes, of course." Cobblepot nodded so frantically that his head became a blur. "We're best friends forever."
"Then there's no problem." Li Jie flashed a vicious grin. "I'm beating you up as your friend. Forget being a congressman-even if you were president..."
He paused. "Of course, you'll never be president. I'd still beat you when you deserved it."
"AAAH!!!"
Cobblepot dropped into his chair in despair. "I can't run anymore. Jay, you can't blame me for this. I didn't even put you on speaker. You were just too loud."
"Like hell! Is that what I'm talking about?"
Li Jie lunged forward and grabbed Cobblepot by the collar. "Even if they heard me then, you didn't give me so much as a hint while I was at the hotel!"
"Uh... calm down... calm down, Jay," Cobblepot cried, his face full of panic. "Seriously, really, Jay, it's because I trust you. Even if you pointed a gun at me right now, I don't think you'd necessarily pull the trigger. I could still reason with you. But..."
He forced a smile uglier than tears. "Well... Miss Harleen said she'd smash anyone's head open with her bat if they leaked a word. I believe she'd actually do it."
Li Jie held Cobblepot up and stared at