That night, Han and Gardenia were talking in hushed voices, sharing secrets-Onigumo's two-faced nature, their worries about Daisy, and their resentment at the threats the bandits had made before leaving. Then they heard a knock at the door.
Han opened the door to find little Daisy. Her eyes were slightly red, but she seemed to have calmed down, though she could not hide her sadness.
"Han, can I talk to you for a little while?" Little Daisy stood uneasily in the doorway, nervously clutching her fingers.
"Of course," Han said at once.
Han went with little Daisy to a veranda some distance from where everyone was resting, and they sat down side by side.
At first, little Daisy said nothing, merely staring blankly at the silvery moon in the sky. Then, as though she had suddenly remembered someone was beside her, she gave Han an apologetic smile and said, "I'm sorry for making you come out so late to keep me company."
"It's all right." Han gently shook her head. Looking into Daisy's still-damp eyes, she said earnestly, "If it helps you feel even a little happier, I don't mind staying with you as long as you need."
Little Daisy smiled faintly, then rested her head on Han's shoulder and said softly:
"Actually, before Master took me in, I lived in a little village. Back then, Dad, Mom, Shinichiro-oh, Shinichiro was my little brother-and I were very poor, but we were all happy. Dad worked in the fields, and Mom took us out to gather wild vegetables. My brother and I would play near her, and she would always say, 'Daisy, don't wander too far. Keep an eye on Shinichiro.' Then I would call back to her from a distance. Sometimes Mom worked at home, sewing and mending clothes for Dad, me, and Shinichiro, and I would play with Shinichiro near the house." Little Daisy's voice sounded distant, and a little hollow...
"Then one day, Mom and Dad said they had to go out, to trade for a few things at the market. Shinichiro and I stayed home and waited for them. But we waited and waited, and they never came back. We had long since eaten the rice balls Mom left us, so I cooked for Shinichiro myself. We waited so, so long, until we had eaten all the rice in the house, and Mom and Dad still hadn't come back... Later, someone went out, and when they returned, they told us Mom and Dad had run into bandits on their way home. The bandits killed everyone who traveled along that road that day, and Mom and Dad were..." Little Daisy choked on her words. She wrapped her arms around her knees and buried her whole face in them, leaving only quiet sobs to be heard. Han felt helpless and heartbroken, unsure what to do. All she could do was imitate the other shrine maidens, gently wrapping her arms around Daisy's thin, frail shoulders and comforting her in silence.
"After that, it was just Shinichiro and me. When I worked, Shinichiro played beside me. Then one day, I called for him, but he wouldn't answer, no matter how much I called. I was so, so scared. I went out to look for him, and later, in the river beside the village, I found him. Shinichiro was already... already..." Little Daisy's voice was muffled against her knees. "My Shinichiro, my little brother... sob... It was all my fault. That's why Shinichiro... Shinichiro..."
"It wasn't your fault!" Han took little Daisy's hand and hugged her tighter, holding this girl who blamed herself more harshly than anyone else ever could. "You did everything you could to take care of Shinichiro. You really did! Even if your mom and dad knew, they would surely be happy that you had looked after him so well!" Little Daisy was only seven or eight, and apparently she had already been with Master for two years. How hard must it have been, when she was even younger, to care for her younger brother all alone...
"But I..." Little Daisy was still consumed by guilt. Though she had been heartbroken that Mom and Dad would never return, she had at least still had Shinichiro then. But afterward, because of her carelessness, Shinichiro had... She could not forgive herself at all.
"So that's why you hated those people so much today..." Han said softly. When little Daisy saw those people today, all the grief, pain, and hatred in her heart had erupted. If there had been no bandits, little Daisy would have been living an ordinary, happy life with her brother and parents, rather than at Kiyomori Temple. Though everyone at the temple cared for and looked after one another, what in the world could compare to one's own family? Those bonds could never be replaced. Han was beginning to understand.
"Sob... Why did those bandits kill Mom and Dad? Mom and Dad didn't do anything wrong! Why do bandits have to exist?! Master... why did Master have to save that bandit? Why, why, why!"
Though Master had spoken to her with concern that day, she simply could not understand. They were clearly bandits who had committed countless crimes. What was the point of treating them? So they could keep doing evil? So they could hurt even more people!
"As long as someone is alive, they have a chance to become better. Once they realize their mistakes, something even better than that can happen. At the very least, everyone hopes to have a chance to become better, even if they haven't realized it themselves..."
That morning, Master had asked her to stay behind and said this to her, sorrow in her voice. Little Daisy did not know what Master was grieving over. It seemed Master's father and mother had also died that way.
But if that was true, shouldn't Master understand this pain even better? Why did she still have to give those people a chance? Those people had never given anyone else a chance... They had taken other people's chances away...!
Little Daisy had forgotten how she had answered Master's question. Master had only asked whether she was willing to give someone else a chance to become better. Clutching Han's sleeve, little Daisy thought hazily that perhaps she had not answered at all, and that was why Master had let out that faint sigh...
Listening to Daisy's doubts, Han fell silent too. Master's words sounded reasonable, as though she had been through the same thing herself, but perhaps those words were still too heavy for little Daisy to bear. Han did not know, nor did she understand. Perhaps one day she would understand what Master meant, but right now, all she could see was the pain those people had brought little Daisy-pain that would last forever.
Perhaps little Daisy would find happiness again someday and gradually forget her past sorrows. But the marks those sorrows had left would not fade as her memories blurred and her grief eased. Perhaps they would only settle deeper into her heart... Settle where? She did not know...
Han watched little Daisy, so overwhelmed by pain that she could not contain herself. Though Han was not human, she was slowly beginning to understand these feelings...
Though everyone at Kiyomori Temple was kind, and Master was kind too, ever since Kikyo first saved her, Kikyo had been like her closest family. Just as a fledgling clung to the first person it saw upon opening its eyes, Han longed for the shrine maiden who had been willing to give her life to leave Han a chance. Though their separation was only temporary, and they would eventually reunite, even that was enough to make her miserable.
But little Daisy's family, gone forever, would never have another chance to meet her...
Perhaps it was not just little Daisy. The girls who wanted to remain at Kiyomori Temple for good each carried a sad story in their hearts. Perhaps their parents had died at the hands of bandits, or had been killed in war, or perhaps it had been monsters or disease. Yet all of this seemed to stem from war. War brought chaos. It brought people with no homes and nowhere to go. It drove those people to become bandits. It brought restless hearts, desire, sin, and monsters that fed on these things...
Apparently, monsters differed too. Some fed on humans and harmed them, while others lived alongside humans without having anything to do with them. Still others were willing to befriend humans, or even marry them... War created monsters, and these monsters born of war were filled with hatred for humans, taking frenzied revenge upon them...
Was war the source? Or was human desire the source?
Human desire caused wars, and wars destroyed humans in turn...
Watching the sky as the sun took the moon's place, as the moonlight gradually faded and the sun slowly emerged, its light spilling over the temple grounds, before every shrine maiden's window, and over Han and little Daisy, Han hazily pondered these things...
Before you continue