The Great Wilderness, Stone Village.
The morning cooking smoke had yet to fully disperse when a fierce little shout tore through the village's peace.
"Skinny Monkey! Stop right there! Give me back my beast milk!"
A figure wearing little beast-hide shorts sprinted for dear life across the yellow earth on two short legs. He clutched a rough pottery jar, milky-white liquid sloshing out as he ran and splashing all along the way.
An even smaller figure chased relentlessly behind him, his little face red with anger. It was the village's Little One, Shi Hao.
"Stop right there!"
Shi Hou, whom the other children called Skinny Monkey, paid him no heed.
Being eight years old, he had longer legs and a bigger stride, allowing him to maintain a distance from the four-year-old brat behind him that was both dangerous and safe.
As he ran, he found a moment to tilt his head back and gulp down a great mouthful.
An indescribably rich sweetness exploded in his mouth. There wasn't the slightest gamey tang; instead, it carried the fresh fragrance of woodland greenery. It slipped down his throat, sending warmth surging through every limb.
This flavor... incredible!
Shi Hou narrowed his eyes in satisfaction.
His was the adult soul of a man in his thirties. In his previous life, he had finally achieved financial freedom, only for his buddy and girlfriend to join forces and stab him in the back, making off with half a lifetime's hard work. Disheartened, he had seen through the coldness of human hearts and simply encased himself in a cunning, self-serving shell. Eating had become his only remaining hobby.
At first, he had panicked after transmigrating into this boy named Shi Hou and arriving in the legendary Perfect World.
But the moment he remembered how Shi Hao had eaten his way from the Great Wilderness to above the Nine Heavens in the original story, making meals of primordial remnants, his elite foodie DNA could no longer be suppressed.
Forget everything else for now. Just what heavenly flavor did the beast milk Little One had loved since childhood have?
And so, overtaken by a mischievous whim, he had brought about the opening scene.
"Hahaha, Skinny Monkey, you're already eight, and you're still stealing Little One's milk? You're growing backward!"
"Little One, hurry! Catch him and spank his butt!"
Under the big tree at the edge of the village, a group of uncles grinding bone tools egged them on, laughing their heads off.
Shi Hou inwardly curled his lip.
Hah, mortals. What the hell do you know about the spirit of a gourmet?
Seeing that the beast milk in the jar was nearly gone, he picked up his pace.
Just as he rounded the enormous bluestone at the village entrance, a glint of cunning flashed through the obsidian-black eyes of Shi Hao, who had been chasing right on his heels.
He suddenly stopped pursuing him.
His tiny body bent down swiftly. He picked up a watermelon-sized stone and hurled it into Shi Hou's path.
Shi Hou was having too much fun running to be on guard. His foot caught, and with a cry of "Ow!" he pitched forward.
Crack!
The pottery jar flew from his arms and shattered across the ground, spilling the last of the beast milk.
Before he could get up, a tiny figure smelling of milk pounced onto his back and pinned him firmly down.
"That's for stealing my milk! That's for stealing my milk!"
Shi Hao straddled Shi Hou, raised his chubby little hand, and slapped it hard against Shi Hou's backside.
Smack!
Crisp and loud.
"Ooh, ooh, ooh! Little One's spanking Skinny Monkey!"
"Shame on you! Shame on you!"
Ermeng, Dazhuang, Snot Boy, and the other little brats who had been watching the fun all crowded around, pointing at Shi Hou and roaring with laughter.
Shi Hou flushed in an instant, from the base of his neck to the tips of his ears.
Holy shit!
A four-year-old milk-drinking toddler had pinned me to the ground and was spanking me in front of all these little brats?
This was a fucking public humiliation of epic proportions!
An epic wave of shame blasted straight through the crown of his head!
Shi Hao didn't care. His little hand came down with several more smacks, putting all his strength into every blow.
Just as Shi Hou's humiliation was about to send his soul fleeing his body, a cold, emotionless mechanical voice suddenly thundered in his mind.
[Deep interaction with the sole diner, "Shi Hao," detected...] [System activation conditions met...] [The "Stew Anything" system is now officially active!]
Shi Hou went completely rigid.
The burning pain in his backside seemed to vanish in an instant, and a surge of wild joy washed every trace of scorching shame from his face.
It was here!
It was finally here!
The cheat that came standard with every transmigrator!
Smack!
Shi Hao landed another slap.
Yet Shi Hou couldn't stop the corners of his mouth from lifting.
Worth it!
This beating was so damn worth it!
Little One, just you wait. I'm keeping a tally! I'll "stew" it all back out of you someday, principal and interest!
Shi Hao finally tired himself out and stopped. Climbing off Shi Hou's back, he looked at the pottery shards and milk stains scattered across the ground and pursed his lips, feeling aggrieved again.
He was just about to say something else when his gaze suddenly froze, fixing intently on the side of Shi Hou's head.
He stretched out a chubby finger and pointed beside Shi Hou's ear.
"Skinny Monkey, something's grown on your head."
Shi Hao's loud voice quieted Ermeng and the others, who had still been laughing and joking. They crowded closer in curiosity.
"What thing?"
Shi Hou froze, then instinctively raised a hand to feel beside his ear.
His fingertips touched something cool and hard hanging beside it.
He pinched it between his fingers and brought it before his eyes.
It was a dusty-gray miniature stone pot and a miniature stone knife made of the same material. Their shapes were ancient and simple, as though they had walked out of the ages.
"Ooh, what treasures are these? They look nice!"
Shi Hao's eyes lit up at once. His little hand darted out, snatched away the stone pot and knife, and he turned and ran!
"..."
Shi Hou's mouth twitched violently. Did karma really come this fast? Hey, that thing was my system!
"Little One, give them back!"
"No! That's what you get for stealing my milk."
Another uproar erupted, with chickens flying and dogs jumping.
As he ran, Shi Hao inspected the "toys" in his hands, muttering, "Is this a pot? What can something this tiny do? If only it could get a little bigger!"
He had only said it offhandedly.
The moment the words left his mouth-
Hummm!
The miniature stone pot in his hand let out a hum, and a gray ripple spread outward.
Shi Hou stumbled mid-chase as a vast, ancient aura swept into his face, shaking him to his core.
Before everyone's astonished eyes, the gray stone pot... swelled wildly in the wind!
One foot, three feet, ten feet!
In the blink of an eye, it became an enormous stone pot standing over half a person's height, with an opening a full three feet across!
It crashed to the ground with a clang.
The pot was covered in weathered markings that spoke of endless ages. On closer inspection, those markings formed profound patterns like mountains, rivers, and stars. Wisps of the Great Dao's aura curled around it, ancient and weighty.
The surrounding clamor stopped dead.
Ermeng and the other little brats stared with their mouths hanging open. The uncles watching the fun wiped the smiles from their faces and sprang to their feet, their expressions full of shock and gravity.
Yet no one there was more bewildered or shaken than Shi Hou.
He had long since stopped chasing, his whole body numb.
Was this some kind of joke?!
No... this was my fucking cheat! Mine!
Why... why was it listening to that little brat Shi Hao?!
Before you continue