When I finished work and stepped out of the company, exhausted in body and mind, I suddenly realized it was snowing outside.
Snowflakes drifted down from the black sky and settled on the ground. The snow was light, but the wind drove it into my face with a painful sting. As I walked home, a gust of cold wind instantly raised goosebumps all over me.
Winters in Capital City were even colder than in Bingzhou. Walking down the street, I held my hands, already red from the cold, to my mouth and breathed on them, hoping to give them a little warmth.
After we graduated from college, everyone else in my dorm studied for postgraduate entrance exams. I was the only one who went out to look for work. At first, I hit a wall everywhere I turned, and none of my jobs lasted long. Time after time, I laid my heart bare to others; time after time, they sold me out, and I still helped them count the money.
After plenty of twists and turns, I finally found my current job as a programmer, revising code. I spent twelve hours a day sitting at a computer making changes, and my eyes hurt like hell.
"Ring, ring, ring..." The phone in my pocket suddenly rang. I pulled it out with a frozen hand and struggled a little to answer.
"Son, how are things in Capital City?" My mother's voice came through.
"Pretty good, Mom. Work's just a little tiring every day."
"Oh dear, you sit in front of that computer all day long. You'll ruin your eyes. Make sure you get plenty of exercise." As my mother fussed over me, I hurried to reassure her. "Don't worry, Mom. I exercise regularly."
"No one at work is bullying you, are they?" my mother asked a little cautiously. "No, everyone just gets on with their work. It's fine."
"That's good." My mother sounded a little relieved. "It's snowing here. Is it snowing where you are?"
"It is," I said. "Today's the winter solstice. Remember to make some dumplings when you get home and have a proper meal." Hearing that, I froze for a moment.
Was it already the winter solstice?
In the year I'd been working in Capital City, I'd only ever paid attention to what day of the week it was. I hadn't given the solar terms any thought at all. So it was already the winter solstice...
"Sure, Mom. I'll have some dumplings when I get home." After chatting with her a little longer, I hung up.
Just before reaching my rented room, I stopped at the convenience store downstairs, picked up a bottle of Grain Liquor that cost thirty-odd yuan, and asked for a pack of Tower Tip cigarettes. The total came to fifty-eight.
I went to the deli next door, bought twelve yuan's worth of duck and a cold side dish, then carried everything back to my rented room.
"Whew-" I took out my key and opened the door. The room was pitch-black.
After changing into slippers, I turned on the light, shut the door, and put everything on the table. I held my hands over the radiator, finally feeling a little warmth.
I took off my clothes and sat down, fetched a glass, and poured myself some liquor. Then I plated the duck and the Shaxian Snacks I'd bought and set them on the table.
I didn't have time to make dumplings. I'd just make do with this meal. It still counted as treating myself, I thought.
After a couple of bites of duck, I drank a glass of liquor. The icy liquid slid down my throat, and my mouth instantly burned. I smacked my lips and picked up another bite of food.
"Ring, ring, ring..." The phone rang again. I reached over to answer, and a man's voice came through with a faintly teasing edge.
"A-Tian, how have you been?" Bai Yun asked on the other end.
"Don't even get me started. I sit at a computer every day, and I feel like I'm going blind. That lousy boss only cares whether you've finished the work, not how many bugs you've got," I complained.
"Heh, life in Capital City isn't easy for you, is it?" Bai Yun said with a chuckle. "Why don't you come back to Bingzhou? Work for me. I'll pay you a salary."
"No need. Believe it or not, I'm going to carve out a place for myself here," I said, turning down Bai Yun's offer.
We both fell silent for a while, then I spoke. "Has my dad still been the same lately?" "Yeah. The old man's still suffering from asthma. His lungs aren't good."
"Then I'm sorry for the trouble, but please help me look after him a little more." "What trouble? There's no need for that between us," Bai Yun said.
"How's Lin Lin been lately?" At my question, Bai Yun fell silent. It was a long time before he slowly answered. "She's working as someone's manager in Magic City. It's been pretty exhausting for her."
Suddenly, I didn't know what to say. The call stayed connected, two grown men in two different places, with a thousand things in their hearts and not a single word they could get out.
Only after a long while did I speak. "Well, I'll hang up now. Take care." "Yeah. You too."
After hanging up, I took another couple of sips of liquor, pulled out a Tower Tip cigarette, lit it, and walked over to the window.
Outside, the snow was still falling, heavier and heavier. A white layer already covered the ground. The yellow streetlights swayed back and forth, and in the distance, countless homes shone with light.
The dim light glowed inside my rented room. After a couple of drags, I forgot to keep smoking and simply let the cigarette burn down on its own.
I reached out to touch the cold window and breathed out. A layer of mist formed on the glass, reflecting my face.
I took another sip of liquor, felt the burn in my throat, and let out a stale breath.
"It's so cold."
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