The Rogue Holy Monk

"Journey to the West? Heh. Journey my ass."

A monk let out a disdainful snort from the corner of his mouth. Dressed in a cassock and fair-skinned and tender-looking, anyone would have taken him for an enlightened high monk.

What could not be overlooked was what he was doing at the moment. He was squatting by the roadside taking a dump, a cigarette dangling from his lips. With narrowed eyes, he puffed out clouds of smoke with an expression of pure enjoyment. A white horse was tied to a tree beside him.

Journey to the West?

White horse?

His identity was obvious. That was right—he was the famed high monk, Tang Sanzang.

Except Tang Sanzang had just crossed the borders of the Tang Empire when he encountered a huge tiger. The tiger let out a roar, and it scared him to death.

And his name was Tang Yu.

By a strange twist of fate, he had transmigrated here. He had originally been a Journey to the West fan and had read all kinds of novels about it. He had been lying in bed at home, enjoying the air conditioning and eating ice cream while reading a novel. But when he saw Tang Sanzang and the others become Buddhas, and learned that the Journey to the West was nothing more than a scam—a means for Buddhism and Daoism to fight over destiny—he had cursed furiously and even smashed his phone.

What he had failed to notice was that his phone was still plugged into the charger. Somehow, it leaked electricity and sent him straight here.

When he woke up again, he found that he had become Tang Sanzang.

He had also gotten a damn system that required him to plunder destiny from Buddhism and Daoism in exchange for all sorts of good things.

This system was a treasure. It had all kinds of spiritual pills and medicines, magical treasures, cultivation techniques—even Primordial Violet Qi. That was something precious related to becoming a Saint.

Of course, that was only wishful thinking for now, because he was broke and did not have enough Destiny Points.

Still, the system was fairly humane. It had given him a beginner's gift pack: ten thousand Destiny Points. It was probably afraid he would starve to death.

The cigarette in his hand had cost him five hundred Destiny Points. He had transmigrated, but his nicotine addiction had come with him.

He flicked the cigarette butt aside and cursed inwardly. What a shitty world. There isn't even any toilet paper. He could exchange some through the system, but after seeing the price, he decided to forget it. He had spent quite a bit recently on cigarettes and food, and he did not have much left.

He picked up two small sticks, gritted his teeth, and gave his ass a thorough wipe.

With a sigh, the system interface appeared before him.

"Host: Tang Yu."

"Cultivation: ..."

"Destiny Points: 5,300."

"Magical Treasures: ..."

"Magical Artifacts: ..."

He was still far too poor. There were so many good things, yet he could not afford any of them.

Being able to see all sorts of treasures but not own them was painful.

Earning Destiny Points as quickly as possible was the only way forward.

Not far ahead, a towering mountain piercing the clouds came into view. A Buddhist talisman was affixed to the mountain.

This was probably Five Finger Mountain. His eldest disciple, Sun Wukong, was trapped beneath it, waiting for him to rescue him.

But he carried a system that plundered destiny.

Rescue him? Forget it. Big brother, just stay buried down there.

Tang Yu turned around, preparing to go around it.

When the Five Directions Guardians responsible for watching Sun Wukong saw Tang Yu actually turn around and leave, they were dumbfounded. What was going on? Why had he turned back?

Sun Wukong spotted the scripture seeker from far away. The Bodhisattva had told him that a scripture seeker would pass this way and rescue him from the mountain. He had also been told to escort him all the way to Western Heaven. But now the man was leaving. Did that mean he had to remain trapped beneath the mountain?

"Master! Master!" Sun Wukong shouted anxiously.

The Five Directions Guardians had initially been somewhat worried, but seeing the monkey shout on his own, they relaxed. There was no way Tang Sanzang could fail to hear that voice.

But the path of the Journey to the West had long since been arranged. How could something like this happen? They were all utterly confused.

Naturally, Tang Yu heard Sun Wukong's cries, but he pretended not to. Without even looking back, he urged the white horse onward faster.

"Ding."

"The host did not rescue Sun Wukong, thereby plundering a small amount of destiny from the Buddhist Sect."

"Reward: 100,000 Destiny Points."

"Additional reward: As this is the host's first completed mission, one Human Immortal Cultivation Card has been awarded. Reminder: Using it will allow the host to step into the Human Immortal realm in a single step."

Tang Yu grinned happily. He was a genius—a true genius! He had never expected to earn one hundred thousand Destiny Points so easily, along with a Human Immortal Cultivation Card. Good stuff, truly good stuff.

But after thinking it over, he understood.

Sun Wukong had been arranged by the Buddhist Sect, an indispensable monkey on the Journey to the West.

He was even one of its most crucial figures!

Tang Yu was originally supposed to rescue him, but he had turned around and left instead, changing the overall course of the Journey to the West and affecting the Buddhist Sect's destiny.

Thus, by a twist of fate, he had completed the mission.

"Holy Monk! Holy Monk!" An old man leaning on a cane appeared before him and blocked his path.

Looking at him, Tang Yu seemed to understand something. This had to be the work of those bastards from the Buddhist Sect.

Seeing that he had not gone to rescue Sun Wukong, they had sent someone to make him go back and save him.

"Who are you? What do you want?" Tang Yu said bluntly. "And what are you staring at? Old man, keep looking and I'll smack you." As he spoke, he tightened his grip on his monk's staff, as if he truly intended to swing it at him.

"Uh..." The Earth God was completely dumbfounded. Why did Tang Sanzang speak like such a street thug? He did not resemble an enlightened high monk at all.

When Sun Wukong saw Tang Sanzang leave, he impatiently sent the Earth God after him. He had to get rescued quickly. He did not want to remain trapped under Five Finger Mountain, and he could not give up the hope he had finally found.

"Um, Holy Monk," the Earth God stammered. "This place is Five Finger Mountain..."

"I know. Do you have anything else to say? If not, get lost." Tang Yu directly cut him off. Of course I know this is Five Finger Mountain. I chose to take a detour precisely because it is Five Finger Mountain. But judging from the situation, it seemed he could not avoid it.

After all, the Journey to the West was a route they had arranged. The eighty-one tribulations could not be short even one.

And Sun Wukong, Zhu Bajie, and the others were important figures in the Journey to the West. It was obviously impossible for him to leave the monkey here and simply turn around.

The Earth God was nearly choked speechless. Why was Tang Sanzang nothing like a monk? Still, as long as he brought him back, the rest had nothing to do with him.

"Holy Monk, this is Five Finger Mountain. Beneath it is trapped a stone monkey. This monkey possesses immense divine powers and is the Great Sage Equal to Heaven who caused Havoc in Heaven five hundred years ago. Because he violated the heavenly laws, Tathagata Buddha suppressed him beneath the mountain, where he has remained for five hundred years."

"Holy Monk, your journey to Western Heaven is long and fraught with danger. The Bodhisattva instructed you to accept this monkey as your disciple and have him escort you on your Journey to the West."

The Earth God blurted it all out in one breath, even claiming it was the Bodhisattva's instruction. Surely Tang Sanzang would return now. Yet Tang Sanzang did not move, merely staring at him.

"Holy Monk, why are you staring at this old man?"