The Holy Monk Wanted Chicken

With a thunderous boom, as if heaven and earth were collapsing, Five Finger Mountain exploded. A pitch-black monkey somersaulted out from inside.

Damn it.

Tang Yu was so frightened that he nearly fell over, cursing inwardly.

Sun Wukong ran toward him in a series of somersaults, shouting nonstop, "Master, Master..."

He dropped to his knees before Tang Yu and took him as his master.

Things had come to this, so Tang Yu could no longer avoid it.

The Five Directions Guardians had already watched over Sun Wukong for five hundred years and were now preparing to return to Spirit Mountain to report back.

But Tang Yu called out to them, "Wait a moment."

The few of them stopped in midair and looked at him.

Tang Yu grinned at them, and for some reason, a bad feeling immediately rose in their hearts.

Then Tang Yu said to Sun Wukong, "Wukong, can you take those guys?"

"I, Old Sun, am the Great Sage Equal to Heaven who caused Havoc in Heaven five hundred years ago. Dealing with a few measly Guardians like them is easy." Sun Wukong spoke with pride.

"Oh, is that so?" Tang Yu nodded in satisfaction and waved his hand. "Beat them up. Smack them right on the head. Beat them to death for me."

Sun Wukong and the Five Directions Guardians above stared at Tang Yu in dumbfounded silence.

Sun Wukong even dug at his ear, seemingly suspecting he had misheard.

The Five Directions Guardians snorted and sped away.

They had watched over Sun Wukong for five hundred years, and that monkey had long been dissatisfied with them. If he got serious, they really would not be able to beat him.

After all, this monkey was already at the initial stage of Grand Unity Golden Immortal cultivation, while they were merely Grand Unity Immortals. Taking care of them would have been effortless.

Tang Yu secretly glared at Sun Wukong. This monkey was useless. Why had he not made a move? Now look what happened.

They had run off. Even if he wanted to beat them, he could not reach them anymore.

"Since that's the case, Wukong, let's get on the road." Tang Yu mounted his horse and urged him onward.

It was not that he did not recognize those words. In his previous life, he had been a fan of Journey to the West and had even read some Buddhist sutras.

Besides, his memories had fused with Tang Sanzang's, so naturally he recognized them.

He had simply chosen not to rescue him on purpose.

He had just plundered one hundred thousand Destiny Points. What if he rescued the monkey himself, and the system decided he had not completed the mission and took them back?

Besides, he had not rescued him. Golden Head Guardian had.

And he had not even said he would accept him as a disciple. Sun Wukong had simply knelt down and become his disciple.

Clever. Too clever.

Tang Yu could not help giving his own maneuver a huge thumbs-up.

He looked ahead. If nothing unexpected happened, their next stop would be a farmhouse not far away.

And at that farmhouse lived an old man who had fed the monkey peaches when he was young.

Based on the Journey to the West he had read in his previous life, Tang Yu quickly recalled what the next trial would be.

"Master, I, Old Sun, thought so too. If we get to Western Heaven sooner and obtain the True Scriptures, perhaps I, Old Sun, can even become some sort of Buddha." Sun Wukong led the horse, looking deeply hopeful.

When had this monkey's nature changed so much? Had being crushed beneath the mountain made him stupid?

He actually wanted to become a Buddha. That would not do. Such thinking was unacceptable.

He had to change him, make him abandon darkness for the light and return to the righteous path.

"Wukong, why do you want to become a Buddha too? There's nothing good about becoming a Buddha. You can't eat meat, drink wine, or get a massage. It's terribly dull." Tang Yu spoke earnestly. "Especially massages. If you go too long without one, it's easy for your body to develop problems. The Buddhist sutras say: men are yang, women are yin. When yin and yang are harmonized, heaven and earth become boundless. Only by blending together like water and milk and reaching the utmost sublimation can one enjoy the great path of the Buddhist Sect."

Sun Wukong stared at him in astonishment. He had never imagined such words would come from his master's mouth.

His master was a man traveling to Western Heaven to obtain scriptures, naturally a venerable monk who had attained the Way. But Sun Wukong no longer thought so.

He seriously suspected that his master was the kind of person who put on a righteous front.

And besides, harmonizing yin and yang, heaven and earth becoming boundless.

Did that not sound like Taoism?

Soon, a crude thatched cottage appeared ahead of them, with several chickens clucking in its yard.

Go around it?

But those chickens looked quite plump.

Tang Yu coughed, staring at the chickens in the yard as he secretly swallowed. "Wukong, let's rest here for a while and get something to eat."

"Yes, Master." Sun Wukong helped him down from the horse, then went to knock on the door.

An old man opened the door and saw a monkey with a furry face and thunder-god mouth. He immediately screamed, "A monster!" Then, with a bang, he slammed the door shut.

"Hey, you old man..."

"Wukong, let your master handle it."

Tang Yu swaggered up to the door and knocked.

"Old man, open up. I'm, well, a scripture-fetching monk. It's getting late today, and I'd like to borrow a place for the night and get a bite to eat while I'm at it."

Damn it, if you don't open the door, I'll have Wukong level your yard.

The old man opened the door a crack and secretly peered outside, but he was still afraid when he saw Sun Wukong.

"Hey, old man, what are you scared of? I know you." Sun Wukong jumped in front of him and said with a smile, "I'm the Great Sage Equal to Heaven who caused Havoc in Heaven. Later, I was trapped beneath Five Finger Mountain. When you were young, you used to herd cattle on the mountain, and you even gave me peaches."

Upon hearing this, the old man's expression softened. He took a careful look at Sun Wukong.

After meeting his eyes, he knew this was the right monkey.

"So it's you, sir." The old man's expression relaxed as he smiled. "I remember now. Please come in, please come in. Holy Monk, please come in."

Tang Yu and Sun Wukong entered the house. It was a very simple dwelling.

Before long, the old man prepared some vegetarian food. Seeing the dishes, which were so plain that there was not a trace of oil in them, Tang Yu frowned.

Was this even fit for human consumption?

He truly did not know how those bald monks could eat this stuff every day. Were they not afraid of malnutrition?

Then again, many monks looked fat and round-faced. They probably ate meat in secret too.

Otherwise, if they ate vegetarian food every day without any oil or nutrition, they would starve to death.

"Old sir, your chickens look quite plump," Tang Yu hinted lightly.

He wanted chicken, not this stuff.

"I live alone. Raising a few chickens gives me some company." The old man chuckled.

Tang Yu froze. This old man was not getting it.

It was not that the old man was slow. Who could have imagined that a monk, and the Holy Monk of the Great Tang at that, would want to eat chicken?

Left with no choice, Tang Yu hinted again. "Old sir, these dishes are a little too plain, aren't they?"

The old man looked at him in confusion. Were monks not supposed to eat vegetarian food?

"You have quite a few chickens here. No one eats them, right?"

The old man immediately understood and stared at Tang Yu in disbelief.

"Wukong, do you want chicken?"

Sun Wukong nodded. "Of course I do." He had been trapped beneath the mountain for five hundred years, eating iron pellets and drinking molten copper every day. He had long forgotten the taste of meat.

Now that Tang Yu had mentioned it, he could not help feeling tempted.