Daji, you're such a tease

Chaoge, the Jade Chamber.

Di Xin took a nap, and when he opened his eyes again, he was no longer in his tiny rented room.

He had arrived in an antique palace. Before him stood two rows of ministers in ancient dress, one half refined and scholarly, the other clad in armor, all looking at him.

Who am I?

Where am I?

I've transmigrated?!

In an instant, a vast flood of memories surged into his mind. The pain was excruciating, as though someone were stirring his brain with a pair of chopsticks.

The pain came quickly and left just as quickly. Before long, it had vanished.

But after receiving those memories, Di Xin's expression turned frighteningly dark.

"Your Majesty... Your Majesty..."

Just then, a series of quiet calls came from in front of him.

Who's that? What the hell are you yelling for?!

Di Xin raised his head and looked toward the voice. He immediately spotted a gentle-faced old man with three long strands of beard, his hair and whiskers snowy white.

This old man was Bi Gan, who oversaw Great Shang's sacrificial rites and ceremonial music and was renowned as a sage.

"Your Majesty, the household of the Marquis of Jizhou has escorted his daughter Su Daji here. They are waiting outside the hall. Shall we summon her?"

When Bi Gan saw Di Xin looking at him, he hurriedly spoke with utmost respect.

Su Daji!

At those words, Di Xin's expression grew even uglier. Yet beneath that displeasure, intense curiosity also stirred deep in his eyes.

He was not from this world. He came from the modern era.

Just because he had flamed some people in a game, he had somehow ended up in Great Shang-and become history's second-worst damned ruler.

What a fucking rip-off. Back home, whenever people mentioned worthless rulers, aside from good old Xia Jie, they meant me, King Zhou of Shang.

But his lot was far worse than good old Xia Jie's. At least Xia Jie had genuinely been a tyrant. All he had done was get itchy fingers and write a couple of lines of poetry at Wa Huang Palace, and Nuwa had sent Su Daji to destroy his realm and burn down his Jade Chamber, Wine Pool, and Meat Forest.

What the hell? Wasn't it just eating some skewers and drinking a little booze? Who did I offend? What grudge could justify destroying my kingdom and branding me a tyrant for thousands of years? If I'm a tyrant, aren't the roadside curbs back home packed with tyrants?

Rather than a tyrant, calling him history's unluckiest emperor seemed more appropriate.

And this damned transmigration had come at the worst possible time. If he had arrived before the visit to Wa Huang Palace, there would still have been room to turn things around. He might even have managed to cling to Empress Nuwa's powerful coattails.

Now Daji had arrived, which meant he had transmigrated after the Poem at Wa Huang Palace.

These people thought the newcomer was Daji, but he knew perfectly well that the real Daji had already been eaten. The one arriving now was the Nine-Tailed Fox.

At the thought, Di Xin's back teeth ached even more. Still, despite the pain, a little anticipation stirred in his heart.

After all, everyone says fox spirits are seductive. Daji is a nine-tailed fox-does that make her even more of a tease?!

"Ahem... Your Majesty, shall we summon Su Hu and Daji into the hall?"

Seeing Di Xin's wandering gaze, Bi Gan coughed twice and spoke again.

Summon her, or not?

At those words, Di Xin hesitated.

[System activated. Host, please make your choice. One: summon Daji into the hall, and this system will activate automatically. Two: refuse to see Daji and send her back to Jizhou, and this system will automatically unbind.]

Just then, however, an icy voice suddenly sounded in his mind.

A system?

At those words, Di Xin's troubled mood instantly eased.

A system! Great, that means there's a chance to turn things around! I'm a protagonist now, too!

Otherwise, even if he had read Investiture of the Gods three hundred times, he could never withstand those saints who slaughtered one another over a scrap of face, plotted against Great Shang, and fought over destiny.

With a system, he at least had a little confidence.

"Since she's already here, let's meet her!"

Knowing he had a system, Di Xin's mind became more nimble. He raised a hand and spoke.

Ah...

At his words, Bi Gan sighed inwardly.

When the king had hesitated just now, he had thought His Majesty had changed his mind and no longer wanted to find someone who resembled Empress Wa. In the end, all his hopes had come to nothing.

[Host's choice detected. Human Emperor System activated. Please consult the system instructions and guidelines for details.]

At the same time, the system's voice immediately sounded in Di Xin's mind.

Hearing this, he ignored Bi Gan's sigh and concentrated on learning about his system.

[Human Emperor System.]

[The character for "human": one stroke sweeping left, one stroke sweeping right, standing tall between heaven and earth. Fear no saint, dread no god, cower before no immortal, be beguiled by no demon. Humanity shall conquer heaven.]

Reading the system's introduction, Di Xin gave two cold chuckles.

"Humanity shall conquer heaven" sounded so effortless, but this was a cataclysmic tribulation-a struggle over the destiny of competing teachings.

Under such a tribulation, all beneath the saints were ants. Even the ultimate victor, the Chan Sect, had suffered devastating losses.

Which of the Twelve Golden Immortals had not lost the three flowers above his head and the five qi within his chest? Who knew how many years it would take them to cultivate those anew?

Taishang Laojun and Yuanshi, the Heavenly Lord, had lost all face and personally entered the fray to deal with their juniors. The Three Pure Ones had turned against one another and become enemies.

The Interception Sect had fared even worse. It boasted of ten thousand immortals paying homage, yet all that remained was a mess of scattered feathers. Zhao Gongming, its illustrious chief disciple, should have become a saint and founding patriarch, but ended up as the God of Wealth. The Three Xiao Fairies possessed beauty that could topple cities and kingdoms and extraordinary strength, capturing Lu Ya, Yang Jian, and the twelve immortals of Jade Void, yet those fragrant blossoms still withered in death. After the Investiture of the Gods, they went to serve Bo Yikao and became deities in charge of children. Even the Primordial Golden Dou became a chamber pot in the mortal world...

The Western Teachings seemed to be the great winner, but its Twelve-Grade Lotus Platform, which anchored its destiny, had three grades gnawed away by the Mosquito Taoist. Even with followers, it could not truly flourish. It eventually became Buddhism, but neither of those two had much to do with the names people invoked.

If even saints suffered such fates, what chance did an insignificant little tyrant like him have?

[Humanity shall conquer heaven. They are merely saints. Host, do not chicken out.]

"Merely saints? Don't chicken out? Am I supposed to take them head-on? If I had their abilities, believe me, I'd be laughing for the rest of my life."

Di Xin immediately found this system a pain in the balls.

It should not have been called the Human Emperor System. It should have been called the Inspirational Chicken Soup System.

Saints could turn words into the laws of reality. They were heaven itself.

Humanity would conquer heaven? One mouthful of heaven's spit would probably drown him.

At this rate, that chicken soup would poison him to death.

"System, what functions do you have?"

[This system can capture the negative emotions produced by those the host encounters after the host mouths off at them...]

[The higher the Negative Emotion Points generated from being insulted, the more points this system collects. The effects of insults can stack indefinitely, with no time limit. The greater the negative emotions, the richer the point rewards...]

[Accumulated points can improve cultivation or be exchanged for various system tools...]

[Host's current point balance: 0.]

"..."

Di Xin was left utterly speechless.

What Human Emperor System? What Inspirational Chicken Soup System? When you get down to it, isn't this just a Troll System?

I get rewards for flaming people?

Heh!

Do you think I'm short on these measly rewards? What I'm short on is even more rewards!

System, your mom's dead!

Without so much as blinking, Di Xin delivered that line in his mind with a cheerful laugh.

[Ding! Negative Emotion Points from the system: +250, +250, +250, +250.]

The instant those words landed, Di Xin discovered an LCD screen in his mind. A string of numbers scrolled slowly across it, and his balance jumped to one thousand.

Holy shit, it really works!

Di Xin's eyes lit up. At this rate, he could hammer the system relentlessly and milk it for points all the way to 99999999+!

[System bug detected. Repair completed...]

[From now on, the system is immune to all attacks from the host...]

[...Negative Emotion Points have exceeded one thousand. Reward: first level of the Essence Refining into Qi Realm... Points required for the next level: 10000.]

Just then, however, the icy system voice sounded in Di Xin's mind again.

Fuck, you cheapskate. Wait... Di Xin had just been about to complain a little more, but his gaze suddenly changed.

He distinctly felt that this body, long accustomed to weakness and decline, had abruptly become stronger than ever before. A terrifying power swept through him. At that moment, he felt he could beat an ox to death-no, a hundred oxen...

The system really could grant him extraordinary strength out of thin air!

Maybe this era of the Primordial World, where people slaughtered one another over a scrap of face, wouldn't be so impossible to survive?!

"What a lovely scent!"

Immediately afterward, Di Xin caught a rich fragrance drifting through the air. It was like faint sandalwood, yet also like thick, sweet cosmetics: sweet and elegant, with even a hint of strong liquor. All those scents mingled together, making his head feel light.

"Your subject, Su Hu, pays his respects to Your Majesty."

A low, dejected voice came from the entrance to the hall. Di Xin looked up and saw a bare-chested middle-aged man with thorn branches strapped to his back, thick brows, large eyes, and an upright face.

Behind him stood a young woman in something resembling a white nightgown. Her hair piled like dark clouds at her temples; her face was an apricot, her cheeks peach blossoms, her brows pale spring hills, her supple waist a willow. She was truly like a crabapple blossom drunk on sunlight, a pear blossom jeweled with rain, no less than a heavenly fairy descending from Yaochi or Chang'e leaving her jade palace on the moon. Daji parted crimson lips like a tiny cherry, her tongue releasing a sweet breath of warmth. Her sidelong glances flowed through curved phoenix eyes, their corners sending forth a thousand tender charms...

Without a doubt, this was Daji!

Perfection!

"Daji pays her respects to Your Majesty!"

Just then, Daji gracefully sank into a curtsy. Two round, honeyed peaches seemed ready to burst through her long gown.

What a pity this honey comes with thorns. Eating it would prick my mouth!

Di Xin drank in the sight with two greedy looks and sighed softly to himself. Then, smiling, he said, "Daji, you're such a tease!"