Do You Still Need a Wife?

Ten-odd minutes later.

Hana Ye lay on the soft bed, tucked beneath a blanket with a towel on her forehead. Her eyelashes fluttered, and she slowly opened her eyes, confusion filling them.

"I... what happened to me..."

"What else? You knocked yourself senseless. Your head really is made of iron. You even dented the wall. Seriously badass."

"Huh?"

She listened blankly to the voice beside her.

"All right! Lucky for you, you ran into someone as kind as me. Have some porridge first. Warm yourself up."

A spoon was brought to her lips.

And shoved straight into her mouth!

Gulp-

Still dazed, she swallowed instinctively.

The porridge felt soft and warm, with little bits of meat.

Tasty!

Gulp-gulp-

After a few spoonfuls, she instinctively glanced at the chipped bowl in front of her.

Whoa!

An eyeball rolled over in the reddish porridge, bubbling away as it stared right at her.

"I just drank some really weird porridge, huh! (￣▽￣)／"

Burp-

[Ding! Hana Ye's Sanity -40!]

Her eyes rolled back, and she fainted from fright again.

"Hey! Hey!! Wake up! Why did you pass out again?! If you don't wake up, I'm going to give you mouth-to-mouth!! Do you hear me?!"

Another ten-odd minutes later, Hana Ye finally stirred awake again.

The moment she opened her eyes, before they could even focus, she saw a handsome young man's face less than two centimeters from hers. Eye to eye, mouth to mouth, he looked as if he were about to subject her to some depraved kind of play.

"You perverted lolicon! (ΩДΩ) Aaaah!!!"

Smack-

With unimaginable speed, Hana Ye scrambled into the corner, snatched up the blanket, and wrapped it around herself, shrieking as every hair on her body stood on end.

"Stay away!! My dad is a really powerful Exorcist! My aunt is a big shot in the Church! If you dare eat me, you'll be punished really severely!!"

Lin En said, "You already told me that..."

Trembling, Hana Ye pulled the blanket up over her nose, leaving only her large, watery eyes exposed as she stared fearfully at Lin En beside the bed.

"Y-you... are you human or a ghost?!"

Lin En shrugged and said with dead-fish eyes:

"Human, obviously."

Hana Ye asked fearfully:

"Th-then... then what were you..."

She instantly recalled the terrifying form he had revealed earlier. One glance at something that horrifying was enough to leave lasting psychological scars.

Lin En folded his arms and closed his eyes.

"That was just a little ability of mine. So I grew a few extra eyes and got a little taller. What's so scary about that? Is it really scarier than being chased by some damn woman carrying a giant sword??"

Hana Ye trembled, clutching the blanket with her little hands. (இдஇ`)

"I don't believe you! You're definitely trying to eat me! You even fed me something weird!"

Lin En immediately went (ー`´ー).

"That was the good stuff! Back where I came from, I couldn't get any even when I wanted it. When I got hungry, I sometimes had to slice myself up and make myself a pot of soup! I gave it all to you, and you're still complaining! You lousy cauliflower!"

Hana Ye immediately shouted, pointing at him.

"You're the cauliflower! Your whole family's-"

No!

Now wasn't the time for that!

o(╥﹏╥)o

She instantly withdrew her little hand, nearly bursting into tears as she asked:

"So you really aren't a monster?"

Lin En was utterly exasperated. Why couldn't he get this through to her? He had only grown a few extra eyes. He was a bona fide pureblood human. Couldn't she even tell?

Without another word, he went over and hauled her straight out of the blanket.

"Feel me if you don't believe it!"

"Tell me what's weird!"

"Look at these pecs."

"Look at these biceps."

"Look at these abs."

"And look at this spongy muscle."

"How am I not human?!"

Hana Ye dangled in the air, o(╥﹏╥)o, as Lin En held her little hand.

"I get it! I get it already! Don't just grab my hand and make me touch things! Hana Ye doesn't really want to touch you! Waaaah!"

"..."

Lin En closed his eyes, casually dropped her, and took out the Bounty Writ.

"By the way, do you recognize this? It fell off that guy. This is probably why he was after you. Turns out you're pretty special too, huh? Even the Evil Spirits put a bounty on you?"

Hana Ye instinctively picked up the blood-red scroll Lin En tossed her, her expression turning to (ŎдŎ;).

When she saw her own face on it, a shiver shot from the soles of her feet to the tips of her hair.

"Wh-what is this?! H-how could..."

This had to be a joke!

She wasn't entirely sure what it was.

But if something like this existed, someone undoubtedly wanted her dead.

"B-but I'm just a useless little girl (ó﹏ò｡). Hana Ye hasn't done anything. Why would anyone target me? D-did they mix us up? My sister is the Exorcist! She's killed lots of monsters. They should be going after her!"

She shrank back.

Then she finally couldn't hold it in anymore and burst into loud sobs. Her tears arced like a bridge, splashing straight across Lin En's face.

"How could this happen?!"

"I... I haven't done anything! I behave myself every day! I don't steal or sneak around. All I've done is slip in some laxatives when Dad's in meetings, singe Grandpa Headmaster's beard while he's asleep, and blow up the school twice! How could something like this happen to me?! Waaaaah!"

Lin En said, "..."

Mm, those incidents alone were enough to justify selling her off at a friends-and-family discount.

Then Lin En waved a hand and closed his eyes.

"All right, that's your problem anyway. It doesn't have much to do with me. Let's call helping you today my punishment for trespassing! But now that you're awake, it's time for me to leave!"

"Sayonara!"

Hana Ye froze, hugging her blanket.

"Y-you're leaving? Where are you going?"

Lin En clasped his hands behind his head, casually picked up his bundle, and closed his eyes.

"Home, obviously. Where else? To hire a hooker?"

With that,

Lin En strode toward the door.

But before he even reached it, he suddenly felt a weight on his thigh. Looking down, he found that the curly-haired little girl had somehow latched onto his leg like a stubborn sticking plaster, her face twisted into (;≧д≦).

Lin En stared down with dead-fish eyes. "What are you doing?"

Hana Ye hugged his thigh tightly, weakly lifting her tearful face.

"Scared!"

Lin En said with dead-fish eyes:

"Aren't you scared of me?"

Hana Ye answered through her tears:

"I am, but... but if you leave Hana Ye here, the monsters outside will definitely eat me!"

Lin En said, "How's that my fucking problem?!"

Hana Ye clung to his foot in panic, o(╥﹏╥)o. "I-I can pay you! Could you take Hana Ye home? Don't worry! Once we get there, Hana Ye will give you all of it! Really!"

Lin En laughed and folded his arms.

"Sorry, no credit!"

Seriously, he'd already waived a hundred gold coins in fees, and now she wanted a voucher too?

Did she think he ran a charity?

Without another word,

Lin En turned and walked away.

Seeing that Lin En was about to leave,

Hana Ye finally panicked completely. One monster had already come after her, after all. With the Red Moon descending today, she had no way of knowing whether there would be a second or a third.

Finally,

She shouted toward Lin En, o(≧口≦)o:

"Wait! I have something I can pay you with!!"

Lin En immediately stopped.

"Oh? What?"

Hana Ye mustered her courage and asked timidly:

"Um, do you need a wife?"