I'm Not Jiahao

"Bang!"

A dull crash rang out.

[Passing Pure-Love Warrior], charging at the front with half a solid wooden door raised before him, looked as though a speeding truck had hit him head-on.

The three-meter-tall Mutated Corpse merely swung its bucket-thick arm. Without even using a skill, it sent Lu Ziye flying backward, door and all.

With a crack, Lu Ziye bent into a grotesque C shape in midair and slammed into the wall.

For an ordinary person, that blow would probably have pulverized every internal organ.

But under the system's rules, Lu Ziye's body didn't explode into a censored mess. Instead, the moment he hit the ground, he turned into a heap of pale gray ashes.

Then, as if drawn by some invisible force, those ashes slowly drifted back to the foot of Lin En's statue.

"Holy shit, that attack power! Can it one-shot us with a single punch?"

The player named [Ji Li] beside him shouted.

This guy was a veteran gamer. Seeing Lu Ziye get instantly killed, his first reaction wasn't fear. Instead, he immediately drew on his gaming experience to analyze the boss's mechanics.

"Its attack recovery is about two seconds. We can squeeze in a hit!"

Before he'd even finished speaking, the straightforward [Kindergarten Boss] had already pried a brick off the ground and tried to smash the Mutated Corpse's toes.

The monster ignored him and simply stomped down.

Splat.

[Kindergarten Boss] died a glorious death.

Meanwhile, [Even Monkeys Have Dignity] lay in a blind spot beside the monster's feet, trying to examine the pustules on its legs with a sleazy look on his face.

"Guys, this monster's pustules actually use dynamic fluid physics. If I poke one with my hand, will it lose HP..."

Unfortunately, the Mutated Corpse clearly had no interest in cooperating with his review. It lifted a leg and unleashed War Stomp, sending Ma Lou back to spawn as well.

In less than ten seconds, three of the five had gotten themselves killed.

A moment later, white light flashed from the magic circle before the altar, and three bare, bald figures stood up again, completely unharmed.

[Kindergarten Boss] rubbed his smooth scalp. Far from feeling discouraged by his death, he was as excited as a two-hundred-pound kid.

"Holy shit! That death animation was pretty badass! We turn straight into ash and get reforged?"

"Brothers, charge again! As long-as long as we drain its stamina, we can chip it to death!"

The three charged back in, hollering.

While these idiot players were having the time of their lives, Lin En, seated on the altar, was panicking!

The system panel before his eyes was flooding with messages:

[Warning! Faith Points -10!]

[Warning! Faith Points -10!]

[Warning! Faith Points -10!]

Lin En's heart nearly stopped. "System! Get out here and explain this! Why are my Faith Points dropping? Are these players charging everything to my card?"

The system's cold, mechanical voice sounded at just the right moment, dousing him with ice-cold reality:

[Host, please review your initial account balance.]

[As an endangered deity, your initial Faith Points were: 600 points.]

[Forcibly forming five physical bodies for the players just now cost 100 points per body, for a total expenditure of 500 points.]

[Your current remaining Faith Points: 70 points.]

Lin En froze. "Then what was that thirty-point deduction just now?"

The system explained with extraordinary patience: [Host, your current divine title is the Lord of Ashes. The players' bodies are essentially reconstructed from the ashes of your divine power.]

[After they die, their bodies turn to ash and return to your Divine Throne. For that same reason, each reconstruction of a physical body requires a payment of 10 faith points to the system.]

[Friendly reminder: your current balance is only 70 points. In other words, after seven more player deaths, you will be completely bankrupt, your Divine Core will collapse on the spot, and it will be game over.]

After hearing the system's explanation, Lin En felt as though his stone forehead was about to explode with rage.

All told, he only had ten fucking Resurrection Coins!

And these hooligan players had used up three within a minute of walking in!

At the rate they were "catching skills with their faces," he'd be saying goodbye to this world for good in another five minutes, tops.

On the battlefield, the newly revived players were getting ready to throw their lives away again.

Meanwhile, the fifth bald player, who had barely moved this whole time, finally took action.

His username was [I'm Not Jiahao].

Among the five bald heads, his demeanor was strikingly different.

Everyone else was shouting and yelling. He alone managed to strike a brooding, hands-in-pockets pose despite wearing nothing but a pair of boxer shorts.

Since he had no pockets, he could only tuck his hands into the edges of his shorts.

Watching the other four's sorry state, [I'm Not Jiahao] sneered.

"People my age only know how to charge mindlessly in games. I study stocks every day. My grasp of the big picture is already on a completely different level. It's just... you get it, right?"

He rehearsed a perfect, pro-level evasive maneuver in his head, then tilted his chin up slightly and uttered four words in a voice dripping with disdain: "No time to die."

With that, he launched into a tactical slide, attempting to slip between the Mutated Corpse's legs and pull off a spectacular backstab.

Unfortunately, since he wasn't wearing shoes, he slipped on the moss-covered church floor.

He came to a halt directly between the monster's feet in an utterly ridiculous split.

The monster looked down at the bald man who had slid beneath its crotch, scratched a pustule on its head in confusion, then unceremoniously sat down.

"Squelch."

[I'm Not Jiahao] was instantly squashed into a layer of ash.

[Warning! Faith Points -10!]

Seeing his balance drop to sixty points, Lin En completely lost his cool!

He couldn't let them keep playing like this!

"System! Send out a global announcement right now! Patch it! Hurry!"

"Ding!"

A blood-red, translucent warning window suddenly appeared in the center of all five players' vision as they rampaged through the church.

[Emergency hotfix announcement!]

[As the game is currently in closed beta, each player has only 2 free revives!]

[Upon a third death, your account will be forcibly reclaimed, and your eligibility for this closed beta will be permanently revoked!]

The moment those blood-red words appeared, the entire church fell silent.

Even the air seemed to stop moving.

"Revoke our beta access?"

[I'm Not Jiahao] froze on the spot, staring awkwardly at the monster less than half a meter away.

"Well, uh..."

[I'm Not Jiahao] gave a dry laugh, attempting to negotiate in an impeccably polite tone.

"Big guy, the system just posted an announcement. How about we call a timeout?"

"You know, that whole... you get it, right?"

His answer was the Mutated Corpse's enormous, bloody maw opening and closing, and the foul stench washing over him.

"Roar!"

The monster brought its palm down as though swatting a fly.

[I'm Not Jiahao] once again became a scattering of crumbling ashes across the floor.

[Warning! Faith Points -10!]

White light flashed over the magic circle.

[I'm Not Jiahao] revived again, but this time, the moment he opened his eyes, he saw that blood-red warning:

[Remaining revives: 0]

"Holy... holy shit!!!"

Jiahao completely cracked. His aloof heartthrob persona collapsed in an instant.

"I only have one life left?"

"I hadn't even started making my play! That was lag! This game is targeting me! I'm going to write a ten-thousand-word complaint on the forum!"

This game's level of immersion utterly eclipsed every major studio's title on the market.

Getting banned from it would hurt worse than being killed!

"Everyone, stop screwing around!"

As a veteran gamer, [Ji Li] instantly took on a team captain's commanding presence. "We're obviously not supposed to fight this monster head-on. We have to use the mechanics!"

"Jiahao, you're down to your last life. Stay in the back and throw rocks to draw aggro!"

"Pure-Love Warrior, Ma Lou, you two, bring over those rotten timbers from the side! The terrain in this game is destructible. Let's find a way to block its movement!"

"Bossy Guy, help me keep this thing occupied!"

"Once it goes down, focus on its joints and eyes!"