In the Soul Society, I Only Want to Coast into Retirement

At that thought, the Menos Grande used Sound Steps to retreat dozens of meters and carefully observed Yamabuki Chidori.

"Seriously, how did you get your body this battered?" Yamabuki Chidori rose in an extremely bizarre posture, like one of the nurse ladies from Silent Hill.

Of course, the one controlling this body now was the Zanpakuto's Blade Spirit.

"Your Reiatsu is too weak! It's not enough to support me at full power! I'll only demonstrate this once!" The girl raised the sword in her hand and poured Reiatsu into it. The blade underwent a wondrous change, turning the ordinary Asauchi pure silver.

"All flash and no substance! Die!" The Menos Grande fired a Cero through the air, but the girl merely gave it a light swing with her Zanpakuto and knocked the Cero away.

The next second, the girl's body vanished instantly and reappeared behind the Menos Grande.

Unable to understand the Shinigami's ability, the Menos Grande hurriedly used Sound Steps to open the distance.

With a smile on her face, the girl said, "Don't be so scared. You're already dead!"

P.S. If the bookmarks and recommendations are high enough, I'll post another chapter this afternoon. Please support me!

Tenjirō Kirinji

The Menos Grande did not understand what the girl meant and wanted to continue attacking, but his vision suddenly spun. His head fell to the ground just like that.

Not just his head—his arms, legs, and body were all instantly cut into several pieces and scattered across the ground.

Even an Adjuchas-class Menos Grande would die without question if its body were chopped to pieces.

"How is this possible... What did you do to my body...?"

The girl did not waste words on him. With one slash, she shattered his head, and the Menos Grande completely dissipated amid an unwilling roar.

"I get it now..." Yamabuki Chidori said in a deeply serious tone.

"What do you get? Have you figured out my ability?"

"No. You have chuunibyou," Yamabuki Chidori said earnestly.

"..." The girl fell silent.

"What normal girl dresses like that? And 'you're already dead'—do you think I've never watched Fist of the North Star? That gag is decades old! Who would say such embarrassing lines unless they had chuunibyou? Please stop having episodes while using my body! It's so embarrassing!"

The girl was thankful that she was a Blade Spirit. If she had been alive, she would have been so angry that she'd have suffered a brain hemorrhage by now.

"The next time you get sliced to pieces, I'm not coming out to save you! Keep your own body to yourself! Who wants to stay in here anyway? Hmph!" The girl snorted, and her voice slowly faded away.

Yamabuki Chidori returned to his own body.

The instant his consciousness returned, unimaginable pain surged from every part of his body, almost making him scream in agony.

"Fractured forearm, shattered ribs, damaged shoulder blade, injured internal organs, dozens of blunt-force injuries all over my body! There might even be internal bleeding! If I don't get treated quickly, cough, cough!" As Yamabuki Chidori coughed, blood began pouring from his nose and mouth.

He had only gone on a routine mission. Why had it turned out this badly?

"Everyone, it's fine now. You can go... go..."

Before he could finish, Yamabuki Chidori's vision went dark, and he lost consciousness completely.

He did not know how long he had been unconscious. Half-asleep, he dreamed that he was soaking in a hot spring with a huge group of beauties. He became King Zhou, surrounded by wine pools and forests of flesh, having the time of his life!

Vaguely, Yamabuki Chidori truly felt as though he were soaking in warm water, and he struggled to open his eyes.

Sure enough, he had been placed in a large wooden barrel filled with warm water. Not far away stood a pompadour-haired man holding a book. After reading a few pages, the man turned and went into the kitchen, took out a pile of plants, chopped them up with a knife, and tossed them into the barrel.

This feeling of déjà vu... Are you trying to stew me into soup?

Mr. Lu Xun said that the old era was an era where people ate people.

So the Soul Society ate people too!

The pompadour-haired man even took out a spoon and stirred the barrel. The only thing left was for him to taste it for seasoning!

"Um... Did I just run into cannibals?" Yamabuki Chidori asked cautiously.

"You're awake! That's great!"

Two children's voices rang out beside him.

They belonged to Chōjirō and his younger sister, Hanako.

It seemed he had not run into cannibals. Otherwise, with these two fair and tender children here, there was no way he would be the first thing on the menu.

His last memory was regaining control of his body. After that, he could not remember anything.

"After I passed out... what happened?" Yamabuki Chidori asked. Then he suddenly realized that his voice was full of vigor, nothing like that of a severely injured patient. He hurriedly checked his body and discovered that his broken bones had somehow been set, his damaged internal organs had healed, and his entire body had returned to its peak condition. Not only that, perhaps because he had gone through a life-and-death battle, his Reiatsu had increased by a great deal.

Hanako said, "After you fainted, everyone you saved brought you to the doctor. My brother and I stayed to look after you, while everyone else went home."

So this man who looked like an ogre was a doctor!

But Yamabuki Chidori had never heard of soaking in hot water as a treatment.

"How long was I unconscious?"

"Three or four days," Hanako said.

"Three or four days already? Old man Yamamoto must be worried sick. I have to get back now." Yamabuki Chidori climbed out of the bath barrel, making little Hanako too embarrassed to close her eyes that night.

Nearby, Chōjirō wore an expression as though he wanted to speak but could not.

"Brother Yamabuki, you said you came from an organization called the Gotei 13, right? I... Can I join too?" Chōjirō clenched his fists excitedly. "I know I might be weak right now... but I'll work hard. I can do any kind of work—cooking, laundry, cleaning..."

Yamabuki Chidori looked at the little guy and smiled helplessly, reaching out to rub his head. "The Gotei 13 isn't a place for odd jobs. You saw the state I was in—I almost got beaten to death by a Hollow! You should live an ordinary life with your sister."

A hint of disappointment appeared in Chōjirō's eyes.

"I don't want to just coast through life. I, Sashō Chōjirō, only want to become a Shinigami like you—at the very least, strong enough to protect myself and my sister."

Yamabuki Chidori had already gotten dressed and was preparing to leave, but when he heard the child's full name, he froze on the spot.

"What did you say your name was?" Yamabuki Chidori asked.

"Chōjirō..."

"No, your full name."

"Sashō Chōjirō."

Yamabuki Chidori's expression became extremely subtle. Sashō Chōjirō—the future Lieutenant of the First Division of the Gotei 13, old man Yamamoto's right-hand man. He would serve as Lieutenant for a thousand years, only to die in the Thousand-Year Blood War.

"You said... you want to join the Gotei 13?"

"Y-Yes."

"I approve. Pack your things and come with me," Yamabuki Chidori said.

Sashō Chōjirō could not understand why the other man's attitude had changed so drastically.

"Right, if you come with me, what about your sister? Won't she get bullied if she stays here?" Yamabuki Chidori asked.

The moment he finished speaking, he noticed that the siblings' expressions had turned strange.

"What's wrong? Why are you making those faces?" Yamabuki Chidori asked.

At that moment, the pompadour-haired man who had not said a word all this time finally spoke.

"You didn't think your treatment was free, did you? My medical fees are very expensive. To save your life, that little girl sold herself to me to pay off your medical bill. She belongs to me now," the pompadour-haired man said.

Yamabuki Chidori stared at Hanako and Chōjirō in shock!

Hanako forced a smile. "It's okay. Big brother saved so many people. It's only right that I do this..."

"Give me half a day. I'll go back and get the money. I'll pay every last bit of your medical fee. Let the child leave," Yamabuki Chidori said.

The pompadour-haired man glared at him. "This kid is quite useful. I won't sell her for any price!"

Yamabuki Chidori's hand was already on his sword hilt. "Don't push your luck!"

"You want to fight? Other than medicine, what I, Tenjirō Kirinji, like most is fighting! Come on!"

I, Yamabuki Chidori, Never Trick Anyone

Wait, what did you say your name was?

Tenjirō Kirinji?

Yamabuki Chidori blinked, looked back at the barrel of soup brewed with himself, then looked back at the pompadour-haired man before him.

Why was someone from the Zero Division here?

No, judging from the timeline, Retsu Unohana's medical skills had been taught by Tenjirō Kirinji. That meant Tenjirō Kirinji only entered the Zero Division after the Gotei 13 was established. In fact, Retsu Unohana had already been Captain of the 11th Division for some time!

In other words, Tenjirō Kirinji was not yet a member of the Zero Division. Or rather, he did not even have an official post! He was just an ordinary doctor in the Rukon District, perhaps with Reiatsu a little stronger than ordinary people!

He had not expected that a casual outing would bring him face-to-face with an SR+SSR combo.

Who told me I'm the Child of Destiny? My luck is just that good!

"Kid, are we fighting or not?" Tenjirō Kirinji looked like a delinquent, holding a club in his hand!

"You saved my life! How could I possibly raise a hand against you? It's just a shame, sigh!" Yamabuki Chidori sighed dramatically. "A hero has no place to use his talents!"

Tenjirō Kirinji was utterly confused. What did this kid mean?

"With medical skills like yours! With your stature! With your courage! With your handsome looks! You should never be stuck in the Rukon District. A true man born into troubled times should wield a three-foot sword and achieve unparalleled feats! Don't you agree?" Yamabuki Chidori began spinning his tale.

Tenjirō Kirinji considered it. It actually sounded somewhat interesting!

For someone with real ability, who did not want to put that ability to use? Who would willingly remain ordinary for their entire life?

Besides, he really was handsome. There was no doubt about that!

"Do you want to bury your handsomeness and talent for the rest of your life? Or do you want to do something earth-shaking? Come, join our Gotei 13! Two days off every week, insurance, stable work, paid leave, friendly and caring colleagues, and a bright future waiting for you!" Yamabuki Chidori extended his hand toward Tenjirō Kirinji.

"The Gotei 13?" Tenjirō Kirinji had never heard that name before.

"You can tell from the name alone that it's an extremely righteous organization. Our goal ranges from protecting the Seireitei to maintaining the balance of the Three Realms! Come on!"

"Maintaining the balance of the Three Realms?" Tenjirō Kirinji was moved by his words.

A job's benefits and salary were certainly important, but giving employees a sense of belonging and identity was even more important.

Yamabuki Chidori had once read an article online.

For an experiment, scientists found two groups of people to do the same job: calling for investments to build schools for impoverished children.

The first group simply repeated the work day after day.

The second group received letters of thanks from the children every day.

Without any outside intervention, the second group raised more than twice as much money as the first.

That showed how important a sense of identity was.

Yamabuki Chidori directly maxed out the Gotei 13's sense of mission. How could they possibly be an assassination organization? They existed for justice, to maintain the balance of the Three Realms, and for the survival of countless living beings.

Yes, this was the way to trick him.

At this point, Tenjirō Kirinji was still young, apparently a young man himself. He was immediately completely taken in, his eyes shining brightly!

What could be more important than maintaining the Three Realms?

So I can bear such an important responsibility too!

What was there to hesitate about?

Of course he had to join immediately!

"Fine, since you put it that way, I'll reluctantly accept your invitation! I'll join the Gotei 13!" Tenjirō Kirinji declared grandly.

Heh, what an easy-to-trick Shinigami!

And so, Yamabuki Chidori had arrived alone, but left with four people in tow, dragging an entire family along!

"Yamamoto! I'm back! Did you miss me after all these days?" Yamabuki Chidori called as he pushed open the gates of the Shihōin Clan estate.

What greeted him was Saito's flying kick to the face!

Heh, how could such a trick possibly hurt me? Watch my iron bridge!

Yamabuki Chidori smoothly bent backward at the waist, and Saito's kick landed squarely on Tenjirō Kirinji's face!

"..." Yamabuki Chidori fell silent.

"You still know how to come back? I thought you'd deserted! Don't run, let me beat you up!" Saito shouted.

"Saito, stop messing around!" Yamamoto's voice rang out, and the previously lawless Saito immediately behaved herself.