Haters, your daddy's here

Qiu Chengye had chosen the tiger mask to show off his dominant, masculine side.

And what had this salted fish called him?

...Kitty??

The live chat was practically dying of laughter.

[What the hell is Kitty hahahahaha]

[You're calling a tiger Kitty? Okay, okay, okay]

[Miss Salted Fish is killing me, where did Director Niu find this absolute legend?]

[Man, Miss Salted Fish really doesn't need to feel inferior, because she's way too manly herself, hahaha fuck]

Mr. Tiger completely lost his temper. Striking a praying mantis kung fu stance, he charged at Xie Mi. "You ungrateful bitch!"

Bad news: Qiu Chengye knew a move or two.

Xie Mi dodged aside and kicked Qiu Chengye in the ass.

Qiu Chengye went straight to sleep on the spot.

Good news: he only knew a move or two.

The director and crew stood nearby, dumbfounded.

They had designed this segment to create chemistry between the male and female guests, but not this kind of chemistry!

Seeing that Miss Salted Fish was about to pin Mr. Tiger to the ground and beat him up, the crew rushed in to stop her.

"It's fixed, it's fixed! The machine's fixed!"

They didn't dare let the hidden camera film another second!

[Okay, okay, okay, I admit this is a gladiator arena]

[The male and female guests are beating each other up on the spot. Dating show, how dare you fucking play me!!]

[Honestly, this tiger is pretty gross. His earlier comments were already disrespectful to women, and now he's trying to hit someone]

[And that's why he's getting beaten into the ground]

[Who on earth is Miss Salted Fish? I'm so curious!!]

Unsurprisingly, Miss Salted Fish shot onto the trending list. Nosy netizens flocked over at the news and began guessing her identity.

#WhoIsMissSaltedFish#

That became the question everyone wanted answered.

[I don't remember anyone this extraordinary in showbiz. I'm guessing she's an outsider. With skills like that, could she be the heir to some martial arts family?]

[I'm guessing she's some billionaire heiress. She radiates pure don't-give-a-fuck energy from head to toe. She must have some serious backing]

[Stop guessing, that's my wife. She ran off to join the show after an argument with me. Come home, honey, the baby's waiting to be breastfed]

[I can't take this anymore. Someone with extra-yellow piss, go wake up the guy above]

At last, it was almost time for the exciting identity reveal.

But before that, there was one more step.

Each guest had to give a solo interview and make a choice: would you like to continue dating your current partner?

If they chose yes, they would ride to the villa in the same car as their current partner.

If they chose no, they would be assigned a different person to ride with.

"No! No!! No!!!"

Mr. Tiger's agonized screams rang out from the interview room, nearly leaving everyone within ten miles dependent on hearing aids for the rest of their lives.

[Kitty's been tortured into insanity]

[Don't be scared, Kitty. Your little boat has already done a backflip]

[Hahahahaha I'm laughing so hard I'm slapping my own ass in bed]

The other two pairs of guests also made their choices.

All four chose [No], making it unanimous [No] so far.

All three ships had sunk. What a thoroughly satisfying date.

[The psychologist who paired them up is sweating buckets]

[I can't. What is Panda doing? Anyone with eyes can see he likes Shuangshuang. Fine, he was playing hard to get earlier, but isn't choosing no now taking it too far?]

[Lmao, not one of the six likes their match]

[Wait, I don't get it. Weren't Peacock and Fox getting along pretty well? Why?]

Miss Peacock's answer was as follows.

"Mr. Fox is a gentleman, and we had a lovely conversation, but it was only a conversation between friends. There was no chemistry between us."

Mr. Fox also said, "Miss Peacock is wonderful, but I came on this show hoping to get to know someone else."

At those words, the live chat went full Detective Conan again.

[Confirmed, Fox is Best Actor Xiao!!]

[The person he wants to get to know has to be Shuangshuang. Well, well, you little lovebirds. Turns out we're part of your kink too]

[So sweet. I suddenly really hope that bitch Xie is watching the livestream. She'd turn green with rage if she saw this~~]

The identity reveals officially began.

Mr. Fox removed his mask, revealing a handsome face.

His dark eyes curved slightly, and an alluring smile spread across his lips.

"Hello, everyone. I'm Xiao Jingxi."

[AAAAAAAHHHHHHH]

[I guessed right! Fox really is Best Actor Xiao!]

[Best Actor Xiao never does variety shows, and his first one is a dating show. Do I really need to tell you who he's here for?]

[I'll be the first to ship Xiao Rong CP!!]

Over on the other side, Miss Rabbit also removed her mask.

Just as the netizens had guessed, Miss Rabbit was Xu Shuangrong.

Her makeup was as fresh and understated as ever, and her eyes, enhanced by large-diameter colored contacts, looked dewy and bright.

She smiled gently at the camera. "Good afternoon. I'm Shuangrong."

[My daughter is so beautiful!!!]

[Who could possibly resist Shuangshuang's charm, damn]

[Calling it now: Shuangshuang will sweep the dating show, and Best Actor Xiao will go crazy with jealousy. Tsk, tsk, tsk]

The other guests' identities were revealed one after another.

Miss Peacock was Liu Woxing, the heiress to the Star Entertainment News Agency, the entertainment industry's largest entertainment news company.

Eighty percent of the industry's juicy gossip came from the Star Entertainment News Agency, which netizens affectionately called the Melon Field News Agency.

Mr. Tiger was Qiu Chengye. Though he wasn't an entertainer, his face was familiar to netizens.

He was a notorious rich playboy with money and influence, roaring through the streets in sports cars every day. All his exes were on the level of female celebrities.

[Star Entertainment News Agency's heiress and rich playboy Qiu Chengye? Damn, you even got these people on the show? Director Niu Bi, you really are fucking awesome]

[Kitty is Qiu Chengye? Kitty is actually Qiu Chengye?! It's over. Miss Salted Fish is screwed]

After learning that Mr. Tiger was Qiu Chengye, quite a few people began worrying about Miss Salted Fish.

Meanwhile, the number of viewers in Miss Salted Fish's livestream was skyrocketing.

[Miss Salted Fish has really messed with the wrong guy this time. Everyone knows Qiu Chengye isn't someone you cross. One wrong word in front of him and you'll be blacklisted in minutes]

[No! Miss Salted Fish is the only person I've ever become a fan of purely for her personality without seeing her face. Don't blacklist her!!]

[Protect our Miss Salted Fish!!]

At that very moment, Miss Salted Fish removed her mask on the livestream.

A beautiful face appeared on camera, delivering an unexpected knockout blow of sheer beauty.

But the live chat couldn't laugh anymore.

Because that beauty spread her arms and walked toward the camera, bobbing her head.

"Surprise!"

"Didn't see that coming, did you, haters? Your daddy's here."

[...]

The live chat fell into an unprecedented silence.

Then it erupted with one enormous line.

[FUCK!!!!!]