A ninja's funeral had little in the way of elaborate ceremony.
The day before the funeral, the two people closest to Hashirama Senju-his younger brother, Tobirama Senju, and his wife, Mito Uzumaki-cleaned his body and dressed him in a Death Shroud (the Japanese term for burial clothes).
The next day, all of Konoha's senior officials stood solemnly before his coffin in black, stepping forward one by one to offer flowers in order of their closeness to him.
Holding a bouquet of white flowers, Watanabe Ichiro stood near the front of the line and stepped forward to pay his respects when his turn came.
He stood before Hashirama Senju's black-and-white photograph, facing that goofy, smiling face. As he looked away, his gaze happened to sweep across something familiar.
It was a Bamboo Plaque, its surface slightly yellowed. It looked quite old.
Yet there were very few scratches on it. Its owner must have taken good care of it. The name "Hashirama" was carved into it in bold, sweeping strokes.
This was the gift that the older-brother card, Watanabe Ichiro, had given Madara Uchiha and Hashirama Senju back then. He hadn't expected Hashirama to have kept it after all these years.
Watanabe Ichiro remembered the Wooden Carvings buried alongside the older-brother card. He had forgotten to retrieve those two carvings of chibi Hashirama and Madara. After so long, they had probably decomposed into fertilizer in the soil.
Man, was Hashirama Senju really this sentimental?
He took such good care of this gift that I'm starting to feel a little guilty about casually faking my death.
I'll repair that card in the system Shop later. When I use Rinne Rebirth to resurrect everyone, I might as well bring him back too.
That plaque made Watanabe Ichiro's conscience ache a little.
After the funeral ended and the senior officials left, the grieving people outside the cordon had already formed a long line of their own accord to pay their respects to Hashirama Senju.
The line was long, but almost silent. Walking in the opposite direction, Watanabe Ichiro passed one grief-stricken face after another and couldn't help sighing.
His conscience had taken one blow after another today.
Once he returned to the Uchiha Clan Compound, several Uchiha Elders leaped up to find fault with him.
"How could you attend Hashirama Senju's funeral as his disciple?!"
"Have you forgotten the honor of the Uchiha Clan Head?"
They carried on noisily for ages. Their point was that he should have appeared as the Uchiha Clan Head on such an occasion. Only then would he have looked respectable instead of dragging the Uchiha's reputation down.
While they prattled on about how Watanabe Ichiro didn't act like a Clan Head, he wasted no words. He activated his Three-Tomoe Sharingan and launched a genjutsu attack. He couldn't even be bothered to activate his Mangekyo. These Elders weren't worthy of it.
The Elder instantly fell silent, lying on the ground in a very "peaceful" sleep.
Truly worthy of being an Elder. Out like a light.
"Take them away and interrogate them. Find out who ordered them to drive a wedge between the Uchiha and Konoha. If you can't get an answer, you can rest alongside them."
Watanabe Ichiro casually came up with an excuse to send his guards away. Looking utterly miserable, they dragged off the Elders lying peacefully on the ground.
These Elders had always been cautious and utterly greedy, taking whatever course offered them the most benefits. When Uchiha Izuna was alive, he had never used them at all. He didn't trust them one bit.
Yet now they had jumped out to provoke Watanabe Ichiro the moment he returned to the clan. He didn't even have to think about it.
Someone or some faction must have contacted them, giving them a sense of security and someone to rely on. That was why they couldn't wait to jump out the moment Watanabe Ichiro returned.
Who could it be at this point in the timeline?
The only person Watanabe Ichiro could think of was Uchiha Kagami, who had defected.
But how could Uchiha Kagami have made the Elders feel secure?
Although Watanabe Ichiro only had Three Tomoe, he had thoroughly demonstrated his strength that day in the clan's Assembly Hall. Everyone had witnessed his power. What did Uchiha Kagami have that could earn the Elders' trust?
Money? Authority? Or... strength?
Uchiha Kagami's strength must have surpassed that of Watanabe Ichiro, whom the Elders still believed only had Three Tomoe. That was why they had been bold enough to get right in his face and court death.
The news that Watanabe Ichiro had awakened his Mangekyo was still being suppressed. No one in Konoha would know the truth about him yet.
The most likely explanation, then, was that Uchiha Kagami had awakened his Mangekyo.
Interesting.
I wonder how the [Uchiha] clansmen will treat me when they still think I only have Three Tomoe.
Things were starting to take an interesting turn.
Watanabe Ichiro began looking forward to it.
Back at his residence as the Uchiha Clan Head, Watanabe Ichiro realized that he seemed to owe Madara Uchiha a funeral.
Madara Uchiha had it pretty rough. A junior like me deceived him! Ambushed him!
Even his funeral had been a slapdash affair.
Wait, no, no. They're all going to be resurrected later. What do they need funerals for?
Just behave and stay in the Netherworld's Pure Land for a while. Once I'm done milking this world for points, I'll resurrect everyone together. No need to rush.
If they really love funerals that much, they can hold their own after coming back.
(Madara Uchiha: Is that even something a human being would say?)
He opened the system and went on a shopping spree in the Shop.
Card Repair Tool? Buy it!
Personality Clone? Buy it!
Resurrection Discount Card? Buy it!
System Upgrade Card? Buy it!
Huh?
What the hell is that?
Watanabe Ichiro stared at the newly appeared card in confusion. He browsed this system Shop every day and knew it inside out. Why had a new card suddenly appeared?
"Dear host, thanks to your lavish spending in the Shop, I've saved up enough points to upgrade!"
"I'm no longer that fragile level-one system! I've leveled up!"
Excitement filled the system's electronic voice.
"So, what can you do after upgrading?"
"I've loaded more modules, especially the emotional module. I can be your relationship counselor!"
"I can tell, but I don't have any relationship problems. No, thank you. Anything else?"
"I can refresh the Shop and stock new cards from other worlds! I can also give you five percent off your purchases!"
"Not bad. Anything else?"
"I..."
The system stalled. After buffering for a moment, it spoke excitedly again.
"I can now completely suppress this world's Sage of Six Paths and Reaper!"
"What? You couldn't before?"
"Ah... sorry. I was too weak before and could only conceal your existence. If the Sage of Six Paths or the Reaper had dragged you away, I wouldn't have been able to keep you safe. But now I can! I can even give them a great big slap!"
That emotional module was quite something. It could even use crude language fluently now.
"All right. Next time you see the Reaper, give him a great big slap."
That bastard had taken Minato Namikaze, a character Watanabe Ichiro liked quite a lot. It rather rubbed him the wrong way.
"You got it! Just sit back and watch!"
Well, there you go. A system with the Tianjin Dialect loaded, too.
Watanabe Ichiro finished buying the tools to resurrect everyone from the Shop.
Later, he would only need to switch Disguises, fit it with a Mangekyo, and make the hand sign for [Rinne Rebirth]. All the materials he had processed and placed in his Inventory would skip the [Impure World Reincarnation] step and sprout straight out of the ground like bamboo shoots after rain.
(The dead: You think you're pretty funny.)
Naturally, that included the cards that had shattered earlier.
As for perfectly reasonable questions, such as:
Why could people who had died so long ago still be resurrected?
Why could people who hadn't died here be resurrected too?
Don't ask. The Disguise used for the resurrection will die after performing [Rinne Rebirth] anyway.
The dead refused to answer your questions. Fill in the blanks yourself. Watanabe Ichiro believed everyone in the Shinobi World was a master at making up explanations.
Before you continue