Making a plan

"Commissioner Gordon! And that... uh... what's his name?"

Qin Wei recognized the newcomers, but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't remember the name of Gordon's supporting-character partner.

The man looked much the same as he did on-screen. Stubble ran wild across his face like a lawn ravaged by goats, a filthy felt fedora sat on his head, and his broad, squat body was wrapped in a brown trench coat that looked like a crumpled newspaper. Coffee stains still marked its collar.

As Qin Wei remembered it, he was one of Gotham's few good cops. Unfortunately, he had far too little screen time.

"How is that fair? Why does James get to be the commissioner, while I'm just 'what's his name'?"

Bullock was deeply offended by the designation. He went to have a smoke, only to pat his pocket and discover that all his cigars were soaked.

"It's you!"

Gordon recognized Qin Wei. Gotham had plenty of lunatics, after all, but perverts were a rarer sight.

Then his gaze shifted to Catwoman.

A young woman in leather wearing a cat-eared hood! She was a very close match for the suspect description in the recent burglaries.

"Hands on your head!"

Gordon, who had been relaxed a second earlier, suddenly drew his gun.

Seeing that Catwoman wasn't resisting, he took out his handcuffs and slowly approached in a half crouch, reciting the Miranda warning more smoothly than a nursery rhyme.

"You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law..."

Wait, what the hell was going on?

Qin Wei was bewildered, but Selina was thinking perfectly clearly.

Catwoman never sat around waiting to be caught. Just as the silver bracelets were about to close around her wrists, she twisted her wrist and struck first, grabbing Gordon's shoulder with her right hand. A kick and a hook of her foot sent him to the ground in an instant.

By the time Bullock fumbled out his revolver, Selina had already wrapped her whip around Gordon's neck.

"Gentlemen, you're even more dedicated than I imagined! You ignore a monster roaming the sewers, but you can't stop thinking about one little thief?"

"A thief? Don't sell yourself short. You've just added assaulting an officer to your charges. Blackgate Penitentiary's doors are wide open for you!" Bullock kept his gun trained on her, spewing trash talk.

"Really? What about those people from the Roman Empire? They've beaten up plenty of cops. How come I've never seen them behind bars? Do you think I'm easy to push around, or is Falcone too tough a nut to crack? You grain-bin rats only pick on the weak!"

Seeing that things were about to spiral out of control, Qin Wei spread his arms and stepped between them.

"Everyone, hear me out. I think we're all here for the same reason. Why don't we work together and deal with the immediate danger first?"

"Fine by me. Why don't you ask your thief friend?" Bullock lowered his gun and spat into the sewage.

"If the grain-bin rat has no objections, what could I possibly object to?"

Selina smiled, but the sarcasm in her voice was especially cutting.

Seeing Bullock put his gun away, Selina shoved her hostage back to him. Still, she took a precaution and relieved Gordon of his gun and handcuffs.

"I'll hold on to these for you. I'll give them back once we're out, assuming we actually make it out."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Bullock glared at her. He was already seething, especially after being called a grain-bin rat twice in just a few sentences.

Aside from his instinctive fear of Disney's legal department, Bullock also hated that nickname.

But with crooked cops running Gotham, it was hardly surprising that the citizens called them that behind their backs. Even he and Gordon got lumped in with the rest.

Selina looked Bullock up and down, undisguised contempt in her eyes.

"From the look of you, you came down from the level above too, didn't you? An enemy hiding in the dark is deliberately making noises to drive us farther and farther down. I'd bet there's some kind of trap waiting for us."

"Whatever they're plotting, it has nothing to do with me. I've had enough of this godforsaken place! Partner, let's take a look at the map and get out of here as soon as possible!"

Bullock said his piece, but Gordon remained silent.

"What's wrong?"

He turned to look and saw Gordon tapping a phone with a black screen.

"My phone got soaked. Does yours still work?"

Bullock searched himself and came up empty. Already hostile toward Catwoman, he naturally assumed she had stolen it.

"Thief, did you steal my phone?"

"That's rich. A grain-bin rat who takes mob money and secretly gnaws away at our taxes is calling someone else a thief?"

"What's that supposed to mean? What's that supposed to mean!"

Seeing another argument break out, Qin Wei felt a headache coming on. He knew that if they kept bickering like this, none of them would escape.

"All of you, shut up!"

At his roar, all three turned to look at Qin Wei.

"Let me get this straight. None of you has a map?"

All three shook their heads.

"And none of you knows the way?"

All three nodded.

"Then there's only one way out. Head for the drainage outlet and pray the current washes us into the sea."

Gordon's eyes lit up at the suggestion, but then his face tightened again, and he began rubbing his beard.

The plan was theoretically possible. To keep Gotham's sewers flowing freely, the screens along the system had been removed in the previous century. Otherwise, they wouldn't have fallen into the next level so easily.

If they followed the current, there really was a good chance it would carry them out to sea. The problem was that the sewers had enormous drops, and no one could guarantee they wouldn't be injured in a fall.

Even if they made it through the outlet and into the sea, a second ordeal awaited them.

The main sewer outlet led to Coventry, next to Arkham Asylum. The cliffs there stood some three to four hundred feet high, with submerged reefs and jagged rocks crowding the water below.

Could they really survive that fall? And even if they got lucky, how would they get back to shore?

But staying here and waiting for rescue was even more of a fantasy.

No one understood Gotham's cops better than Gordon. The two most reliable officers in the entire department were trapped down here. If they counted on those useless drunks to rescue them, they would either die of sewer gas poisoning or starve to death.

Oh, sorry. In the Gotham Police Department, "useless drunk" practically counted as a compliment.

After weighing the pros and cons, Gordon became the first to agree to the plan.

Bullock was still wavering, but when he saw his partner nod, he immediately raised his hand in agreement.

Likewise, no one understood his partner better than he did. Gordon loved his daughter Barbara deeply. He would never put his life at risk unless he had no other choice.

Qin Wei looked at Selina. She was the only one who hadn't given an answer.

"Me... whew!" Catwoman puffed out her cheeks and let out a long breath.

"Honestly, I'm starting to regret this. Tonight's plan has been a complete failure. I didn't find the money, I got lost in the sewers, and now you're telling me to ride the current out into the sea..."

Catwoman's sixth sense told her that this plan was extremely dangerous, so she intended to bail. Before leaving, though, she offered the three men her sincere well wishes.

"I'll stay here and try to find a way out. I hope we all make it back to the surface alive."

Qin Wei didn't try to persuade her. Without Catwoman, his plan to steal the money would probably fall through, but there was nothing he could do. He wasn't ruthless enough to drag her along when he knew how dangerous the plan was.

"Here's hoping. Good luck!"

He handed Selina his flashlight and waved goodbye.