Cafeteria Rules

"What a weirdo," Wei Liang muttered. "Then we'll read it ourselves! Huh, Lao Lin, what's wrong?"

He was about to poke Lin Yi when he noticed that although Lin Yi was holding the Cafeteria Rules open, his eyes weren't focused on them.

Lin Yi looked up in puzzlement. "Liangzi, take another look at this Notice Board."

"The first rule, 'Do not enter the Cafeteria outside opening hours,' is easy enough to understand, but what the hell is the second one? 'Do not enter the Cafeteria during Abnormal Weather.'"

Wei Liang understood what Lin Yi meant. The Student Rules stipulated:

[This university was built in the suburbs. If you encounter rain, heavy fog, or other Abnormal Weather on Campus, please disregard rule 4, find the nearest building as quickly as possible to shelter from the weather, and wait until the weather returns to normal before leaving.]

"You think the Cafeteria Rules conflict with the Student Rules?" he asked.

Lin Yi nodded slightly. "The Student Rules say that when we encounter Abnormal Weather, we need to reach the nearest building by any means necessary to take shelter. But what if the nearest building is the Cafeteria?"

"We get to the Cafeteria, but the sign explicitly says we can't enter during Abnormal Weather... do we go in or not?"

"Hmm... Lao Lin, that's a very constructive question. If I had to give an answer, I think we should..." Wei Liang pondered it carefully, then solemnly offered two words. "Almost enter."

The corner of Lin Yi's mouth twitched violently. "What the fuck does... 'almost enter' mean?"

Wei Liang said, "It means we rub against it without going in."

Lin Yi clenched his fists, really wanting to give Wei Liang a couple of solid punches.

"Oh, don't overthink it!" Wei Liang said optimistically. "That kind of situation is extremely rare. Even if we really need to think about it, we can wait until it happens."

"Besides, I have a way to avoid the risk!"

"Oh?!" Lin Yi's eyes lit up. "How?"

Wei Liang smiled mysteriously. "Every time we finish eating, we go to the Convenience Store and stock up on a bunch of wafer rolls, three to five buns, and a few bottles of water or something. Roughly enough for two or three meals."

"That way, as soon as there's any sign of Abnormal Weather, we simply don't come to the Cafeteria. Just like yesterday, we can have dinner and the next day's breakfast in the Dormitory or classroom. Wouldn't that be great?"

"Holy shit..." Before Lin Yi could say anything, Xu Shunkang and Xie Huayang beside them had already staggered at what they heard, both giving Wei Liang incredulous looks.

"Awesome, just awesome. You've really fucking figured out how to game these Cafeteria Rules..."

Lin Yi was speechless for a moment, but Wei Liang's suggestion did seem reasonable, so he couldn't help asking, "So that's how you got through it last time?"

"Nope!" Wei Liang shook his head regretfully and sighed. "The last time I came, the Convenience Store barely ever opened. Hopefully it's open today!"

At the mention of the Convenience Store, a barely perceptible strange look flashed through Wei Liang's eyes. Though his tone was somewhat playful, it conveyed even more of a reluctance to say much about it.

"All right..." Lin Yi glanced at his watch.

11:19.

It was getting late, so he put the matter of the sign aside for now and lowered his head to read the Cafeteria Rules:

"[S City University Cafeteria Rules]"

"Your proper course of action in the Cafeteria should be: enter the First-Floor Cafeteria through the [Student Passage], line up for your meal, and immediately after finishing your meal, retrace your steps through the [Student Passage] to leave the Cafeteria.

As long as you follow this rule, you will be able to safely meet your food needs throughout your experience."

Lin Yi was stunned when he read this.

He reread the sentence several times, still unable to believe it was true.

All we have to do is enter the First-Floor Cafeteria through the [Student Passage], eat, and leave immediately afterward?

Is it that simple?

Even an idiot could tell it definitely wouldn't be that simple. Only a fool would take this opening sentence as gospel.

Lin Yi inwardly shook his head and was about to read on when he suddenly heard Wei Liang muttering beside him-

"Sure enough, it's still this simple! Just like last time. Hehehehe, we're set, we're set..."

He shot Wei Liang a vicious glare. You, Liangzi! Don't even think about shaking my resolve!

He read on:

"...However, this Cafeteria has taken various emergencies into consideration and specifically expanded the rules below. For the safety of your life and property, please strictly observe the following rules:

1. This Cafeteria has three floors: Basement Level One, the first floor, and the second floor. None of the floors will be locked, but they are only open daily from 5:40-8:00, 10:40-13:20, and 16:00-20:00. Students are prohibited from entering at any other time."

"If you see anyone entering or leaving at other times, simply ignore them. Never remind them out of kindness that they have gone the wrong way."

"2. Students entering or leaving the Cafeteria should take the [Student Passage] to the first-floor dining hall (the passage entrance and exit have clearly marked Student Passage signs). Do not take the [Staff Passage], and especially do not take any unmarked passages."

"If you notice someone entering a passage other than the [Student Passage], and there is a Security Guard nearby, you may inform the Security Guard immediately, or you may choose to ignore it."

"If you choose to report it to a Security Guard, leave the Cafeteria immediately after making your report. Under no circumstances should you stay, let alone become curious about what the Security Guard does next."

"Beware of anyone who invites you to take other passages. They have evil intentions toward you. Refuse them, and try to remember what they look like. If you encounter them in the future, maintain a safe distance and remain highly vigilant. They will not leave those who refuse their invitations alone."

"3. The lights in the Student Dining Hall Area remain on twenty-four hours a day. Do not enter any unlit areas."

"Stay away from dark places in the Cafeteria."

"If the lights in the Student Dining Hall begin flickering, leave the Cafeteria through the [Student Passage] immediately! Right away! At any cost!"

"Unlike the classrooms, a Cafeteria with its lights out has no safe areas!"

"4. Cafeteria staff wear standardized clothing: white chef uniforms and blue Aprons, along with name badges."

"All Cafeteria staff remain within the Staff Activity Area and the Meal Windows, and will not appear in the Student Dining Hall Area. If you discover a staff member in the dining hall area, ignore him."

"5. Except when swiping your Student ID to pay for meals or purchases at the Convenience Store, keep your Student ID secure at all times. Do not expose it to public view."

"There are no staff members wearing green Aprons in the Cafeteria. If you encounter a green-aproned staff member who questions your identity as a student and asks you to show your Student ID, refuse or simply ignore him."

"6. There are a total of nine Meal Windows on the first and second floors of the Cafeteria, offering a wide variety of dishes. However, no food containing any Tomato Element is served. If you discover such food at a Meal Window, do not purchase it."

"7. When purchasing a meal, do not argue with staff members because they have served you the wrong food. Remember that any food without the Tomato Element is safe to eat."

"Dump any unfinished food directly into the Recycling Bin. Taking food away is prohibited. If a staff member asks whether you need your food packed to go, or accuses you of wasting food, ignore him. Remember, no Cafeteria staff members will appear in the Student Dining Hall Area (this statement is bold and underlined)."

"8. When purchasing a meal, if you discover that a staff member in a blue Apron has served you food containing the Tomato Element, do not remind him that he has made a mistake (the word 'do not' is emphasized)."

"However, after taking your tray, go directly to the Utensil Return Area, dump all the food into the Recycling Bin, then purchase another meal from a different Meal Window."

"During this process, remember his employee number and inform your Head Teacher after returning to the Teaching Building."

"9. There is no Meal Window No. 10 in the Cafeteria. If you see it, ignore it."

"Do not approach Meal Window No. 10, and firmly refuse anyone who invites you to go to Meal Window No. 10."

"10. While lining up to purchase food and while eating, do not respond to any attempts at conversation from strangers around you. If you have a companion, focus on conversing with that person and ignore all abnormalities around you."

"11. After finishing your meal, place your tray at the return opening before leaving. If you hear unusual noises from Window No. 10 as you leave, immediately hold your Student ID in your hand, locate the [Student Passage], and leave at once."

"When leaving, if you discover that a staff member in a green Apron is watching you and has begun moving rapidly toward you, decide whether to head to the [Student Passage] or the Convenience Store based on your location."

"Until you enter the [Student Passage] or reach the Convenience Store, do not stop, do not look back, and do not respond to his calls, even if you feel he is about to catch up with you."

"After leaving the Cafeteria, immediately remove your clothes and check whether there is any Tomato Sauce on you. If there is, throw the clothes into the nearest trash can (note that you must throw them into a trash can, not discard them on the ground (this sentence is underlined)!)."

"12. There is a Convenience Store in the Cafeteria, but shopping there is not recommended unless necessary."

"Due to its location, the Convenience Store can serve as a [Student Passage] for you to leave when necessary. However, to do so, you must purchase at least one item from the Convenience Store."

"The Convenience Store only sells ready-to-eat packaged foods and daily necessities. Never purchase anything else, especially 'Student Commemorative Coins'!"

"13. At no time should you pay attention to unusual noises coming from Basement Level One of the Cafeteria, even if you hear the Call of your name."

"Entering any area inside the Cafeteria other than the Student Dining Hall Area is prohibited, especially Basement Level One."

"14. If you accidentally violate any of the above rules, immediately leave through the [Student Passage], then enter the [Staff Passage] at once and seek help from a staff member in a blue Apron (note: a blue Apron, not a green Apron, and wearing a name badge) or a Security Guard. You must show your Student ID before asking for help."

"At all times, absolutely! Unconditionally! Trust! The Security Guards! (this sentence has exceptionally conspicuous bolding and underlining)"

"15. If you cannot leave the Cafeteria after violating the above rules, go to the Convenience Store and hold out until the Convenience Store Owner appears. Tell him the problem you encountered and follow all his arrangements."

"As long as you follow the above rules, this Cafeteria will provide you with a safe dining environment during opening hours. Enjoy your meal!"

After a quick read-through, Lin Yi's first impression was of order within chaos.

Each of the fifteen rules seemed very easy to understand and follow on its own, but once put together, they seemed to leave quite a few blind spots.

And perfectly carrying out that simple piece of "advice" written at the very beginning of the Cafeteria Rules no longer seemed quite so easy.

Judging by the Cafeteria Rules, once they crossed the line marked by the sign, the entire process-from entering the Cafeteria to lining up for food, eating, and finally leaving-was filled with unpredictable factors.

Having a meal was like going to war. You never knew when you might step on a mine.

Yet Lin Yi and Wei Liang didn't have a single chance to clear those mines. The moment they stepped on one, they would be blown apart on the spot.

Lin Yi also noticed a crucial issue-the Convenience Store Owner.

According to the Student Rules:

[If you encounter anyone claiming to be the Convenience Store Owner, leave the Convenience Store immediately.]

But according to the Cafeteria Rules, the Convenience Store Owner was someone who could help students.

So even though it's the same person, different preconditions can lead to two completely different choices?

Under normal circumstances, we have to leave immediately if we see the Convenience Store Owner.

But if we violate the rules and can't leave, we have to actively seek out the Convenience Store Owner...

Why is that?

The two conflicting outcomes left him deeply puzzled.

Lin Yi also noticed an extremely serious issue-the Cafeteria Rules mentioned the Security Guards only once.

The Security Guards won't enter the Cafeteria.

That was Lin Yi's first conjecture.

But... why is that?

After finishing the Cafeteria Rules, Lin Yi's head was full of questions.

As doubts continued to arise in Lin Yi's mind, Wei Liang was the first to close the Cafeteria Rules. Taking a deep breath, he said, "I'm done. Have you finished, Lao Lin?"

Lin Yi looked at Wei Liang in surprise. "You finished that fast?"

Wei Liang asked in return, "There's only this little bit. Haven't you finished yet?"

"Liangzi..." Lin Yi said hesitantly. "Do you not think at all when you read?"

Wei Liang cast him a contemptuous look and said with immense pride, "Lao Lin, is this your first day knowing I don't like using my brain?"

Lin Yi pressed a hand to his forehead in embarrassment, speechless. "No... how can you say that so confidently?"

Wei Liang gave an awkward chuckle, put away the Cafeteria Rules, and tucked them into his trouser pocket. "Look, there are loads of strange things on this Campus. Let's just take things as they come!"

"Besides, I'm starving to death right now. Even if you want to whip up a passionate brainstorming session, surely that can wait until we've eaten?"

Unable to sway Wei Liang, Lin Yi could only put away the Cafeteria Rules and say helplessly, "Then let's go eat first."

"Bingo! That's more like it. Let's go!" Wei Liang said excitedly.

Just then, he suddenly spotted something and couldn't help muttering, "Huh? That person looks kind of familiar! Holy shit, why is she here?!"

Lin Yi looked over at his words, and a chill immediately shot up his spine!

On the Campus road not far away, a female student had appeared wearing a Sailor Uniform and a Pink Cartoon Cat Hair Clip.

It was none other than the girl who had come to Campus on the same Blue Bus as them yesterday!

Thank you to reader "20200809213802296" for the tip!!