"Ladies and gentlemen! Ladies who don't want to be ladies and gentlemen who don't want to be gentlemen! Viewers in front of your televisions and those who aren't!"
"Welcome, everyone, on this weekend evening, to witness the opening of the Four Seas Ascendant Dragon Assembly, held once every four years! Coming up is the Northern District Group Stage, broadcast by Xinghai Television!"
"The brilliant Heavenly Prodigies of our Human Race will distinguish themselves at this Ascendant Dragon Assembly and win the opportunity to cultivate in the Four Seas Dragon Palace. The mighty legends who will protect the Human Realm in the future will emerge from among them!"
"The first Ascendant Dragon battle begins today!"
"I'm your host for today's broadcast, Chen Munniu. Before we begin, I'd first like to thank Xinghai City's Puppet Sect for its tremendous support of this grand event. So close, so beautiful-come buy a puppet!"
"We'd also like to thank the Divine Deer Sect for supporting this grand event. Deer penis, deer blood, deer antler-restore your virility! Overdone it? Come to the Divine Deer Sect!"
"And our thanks to the Three Links Association for supporting this grand event..."
"Thanks to Qiuming Mountain..."
"Thanks to Shaxian..."
"Thanks to my second uncle..."
"..."
On the television screen, the male host with slicked-back hair rattled off his lines. Fair-skinned and scholarly in appearance, he finished reading the sponsors' advertisements with a perfectly straight face before continuing, "Next, I'd like to give a grand introduction to today's two guest commentators!"
"First, we have Nangong Han from Sword-Sealing Mountain in the Central Plains-Elder Nan!"
He extended a hand, and the camera cut to a close-up of a stern-faced old woman beside him.
This old woman looked to be in her sixties or seventies, though his actual age was probably far greater,