A soul left in an azure hairpin, a nighttime farewell to Heaven Dou

[In the end, you could not accept it.]

[What you wanted had never been a sheltered corner of her heart, nor a sliver of tenderness she carved out after weighing her choices, much less the placid stability that, worn smooth by the years, left you treating each other with the courtesy of honored guests, without so much as a ripple.]

[What you wanted was her whole heart, with nothing held back.]

[Yet whenever she leaned against the railing and gazed into the distance, her eyes resting silently on the south, lost in thought, your heart would suddenly ache.]

[That direction led to the starting point where you had brought her out of the dark cave, and also to Holy Soul Village, where Tang San and Tang Hao lived in seclusion.]

[You could not say how much affection she still held for Tang Hao. But you knew very well that, toward the child she had met only once, an inextricable burden of concern and guilt had always weighed upon her heart.]

[In the still of the night, you lay on your back upon the bed, tossing and turning, unable to sleep.]

[Moonlight, like frost, spilled through the window lattice, spreading a layer of cold white silver across the floor.]

[Your thoughts tangled and twisted like a snarled skein-]

[One step back, and your heart refused to accept it; one step forward, and every inch was a struggle.]

[If you remained by her side, those stirrings would eventually be worn by time into a pool of stagnant water; if you withdrew now, you could not sever this love already etched into your bones and heart.]

[The threads of love formed a net, binding you fast, impossible to break free of or evade.]

[You clenched the corner of the quilt, your knuckles whitening slightly, then released it in dejection a moment later. This repeated over and over, leaving folds upon folds in the brocade quilt, just like the turmoil surging through your heart.]

[The moon shifted and shadows moved, silver radiance spilling past your pillow, the whole room silent and still.]

[At a certain moment, you abruptly sat up. Cold white moonlight fell into your eyes, and all your tangled, wavering emotions gradually condensed into a strand of icy resolve.]

[Since staying by her side would eventually wear away the ambiguity and the stirrings between you, you might as well withdraw and leave now.]

[Since you could not obtain her whole heart within the Simulation, you would use this illusory realm to plant a seed for reality, one that would gnaw into the bones and take root.]

[Besides, memories of the past kept her from facing you openly; then, with your mark etched into her heart, could she return to the man from her past without any misgivings?]

[A bold plan gradually took shape in your heart.]

[You raised your middle finger at yourself outside the simulator. "You bastard, this time, I'll make sure you get something good."]

[You rose and went to the desk, taking out the materials you had accumulated over the years from your Storage Soul Tool.]

[Red-gold meteoric iron, deep-sea silver essence, ten-thousand-year spiritwood heart... one rare material after another gleamed with a cold, dim luster beneath the moonlight.]

[You laid them on the desk one by one, examining them closely and picking through them, ultimately selecting only the few best suited to your purpose.]

[You used Soul Power to melt and cast the underlying frame, carefully shaped it with mental power, then took up a carving knife and painstakingly refined it stroke by stroke.]

[After four hours of work, a hairpin finally took shape.]

[The hairpin was pale azure throughout, its shaft slender and long. Shaped after Blue Silver Grass, it featured coiling vines and unfurled leaves, every fine line vividly rendered.]

[You took out a piece of jadeite crystal marrow and carefully set it into the head of the hairpin.]

[This was an exceedingly rare mineral, a gift from the Blue Silver King. It grew within the vine core of ten-thousand-year jadeite crystal vine, its texture warm and smooth as jade, its color like newly risen spring waters.]

[Not only could it nourish the mind and seal away Soul Power, it also had an exceedingly secret function-carrying spiritual consciousness.]

[You closed your eyes and focused, sinking your awareness into your Sea of Consciousness.]

[Within that sea, tempered day and night by Star Power, countless stars glittered and silver radiance flowed.]

[You gradually gathered your spiritual consciousness into a hazy phantom, its outline identical to your own. Faint, pale silver starlight flowed around it, as though moonlight had taken form.]

[Taking a deep breath, you pressed your fingers together like a blade and slashed viciously down at the phantom of your own spiritual consciousness-]

["Urgh-!"]

[A muffled groan caught in your throat, and your face instantly turned as white as paper.]

[Agony swept through your entire body like a raging tide, as though someone were repeatedly stirring a blunt knife inside your skull, or tens of thousands of fine needles were piercing the depths of your mind at once.]

[Your body shook violently, veins bulging across your forehead. Beads of sweat the size of beans rolled down, instantly soaking the front of your clothes.]

[You bit down hard on your lower lip, the taste of blood spreading through your mouth, not daring to let your concentration slip in the slightest.]

[Within your Sea of Consciousness, a pale golden ball of light peeled away from your main spiritual consciousness and floated silently in midair, flickering uncertainly like a guttering candle in the wind.]

[It was a fragment of your consciousness, only one-tenth the size of your main spiritual consciousness, yet it carried all your emotions and memories.]

[You sealed within it all your attachment to her, all your tenderness, and every unspoken feeling and sentiment.]

[Enduring agony that nearly made you faint, you raised a trembling hand and carefully guided that fragment of consciousness into the hairpin.]

[The instant the fragment of spiritual consciousness sank into the jadeite crystal marrow, the hairpin suddenly shone brightly, emerald radiance rippling outward like water. Then it swiftly withdrew, returning to its original warm, understated appearance.]

[Only the Blue Silver Grass patterns along the shaft had changed, now threaded with fine golden veins entwined with specks of silver starlight. They appeared and vanished, shifting faintly as the light changed, as though they possessed a life of their own.]

[Drained of strength, you slumped against the back of the chair, gasping for breath. Your face was deathly pale, your lips blue, and you looked as though you had been hauled out of the water, without even the strength left to lift a finger.]

[Only after resting for a long time did you barely manage to stand, unsteady on your feet, bracing yourself against the edge of the desk to stay upright.]

[Taking up a brush and dipping it in ink, you wrote two lines of small characters on a sheet of plain stationery-]

["Ah Yin, I've left. This hairpin is my parting gift to you. Do not pine for me."]

[The handwriting was scrawled, the brushstrokes still carrying a lingering tremor.]

[You placed the hairpin and the note together in a white jade box, closed the lid, and gently set it in the very center of the bed.]

[After doing all this, you pushed open the door without a sound and stepped out.]

[The night breeze was slightly cool, dispersing the cold sweat on your forehead.]

[Standing in the courtyard, you raised your head to glance at the sparse remaining stars in the sky and let out a deep, stale breath.]

[Your gaze swept over your surroundings before finally settling on the window lattice of the room next door. Its lights were out, and Ah Yin was sleeping peacefully, her breathing soft and shallow.]

[You remained silent for a long time.]

["Let this fragment of spiritual consciousness stay by your side in my stead!"]

[You sighed softly in your heart.]

[Without looking back again, you leaped away and vanished completely into the deep darkness of the night.]