She recalled the days and nights of these past years, the exhaustion of being torn to pieces by affairs of state and her disguise in the Heaven Dou Imperial Palace.
She had thought she was accomplishing something great.
Yet Qian Chenming's words were like a mirror, forcing her to look straight at the truth she had always ignored.
The endurance she took such pride in might have been nothing more than another form of escape, an escape from the truly difficult path.
As for why she had accepted the plan to infiltrate Heaven Dou back then.
Qian Renxue understood better than anyone.
It had been neither for Spirit Hall nor for herself.
Her only thought had been to spite that woman she never got along with.
She had wanted to slap that woman's face with her achievements.
To tell her how outstanding her daughter was, and how ignorant she was to treat her daughter so coldly.
Looking back on it now, Qian Renxue could not help feeling somewhat ashamed.
Just as her great-grandfather had said, she had been squandering her innate talent from beginning to end.
"I must say, devising this so-called Nation-Stealing Plan, and then sending the young member of Spirit Hall most likely to become a god to carry it out, was an act of unprecedented stupidity."
"And my great-granddaughter, your actions do not seem to have been particularly clever either."
Qian Chenming continued.
He exposed this point bluntly, exposing the stupidity of the plan from beginning to end.
He did not hold back in his criticism of Qian Renxue either.
In response.
Qian Renxue felt no displeasure, only disappointment in herself.
She understood what her great-grandfather meant.
Beyond the criticism in his words, there was, to a far greater degree, concern that ran bone-deep.
Only someone who truly cared about her would speak of such things so piercingly and bluntly.
For a moment.
A trace of warmth inevitably stirred in Qian Renxue's heart.
It was something she had never experienced in all her years.
Her father had died early, and that woman's attitude toward her had been nothing but cold.
Only when there was something she genuinely needed her for would that woman show the slightest hint of approval.
As for her grandfather.
He had naturally always loved her dearly.
But.
Even that love seemed to take that woman's side.
No matter how cold and appalling that woman's behavior toward her had always been.
Qian Daoliu had never expressed displeasure over his granddaughter's loss of maternal love, instead often urging her to be understanding.
Hadn't Qian Daoliu supported this so-called Nation-Stealing Plan back then precisely because he had taken that woman's side?
Otherwise, everything would not have come to this.
Weighing these thoughts, her face slightly flushed, Qian Renxue wanted to say something more.
But Qian Chenming waved a hand casually.
"Go back and think it over carefully. I won't forcibly interfere with your decision. You're grown now. Only you can decide your future."
"Mm."
Qian Renxue did not argue, obediently lowering her head and answering softly.
Then, remembering something, Qian Renxue continued, "Great-grandfather, Shrek Academy is very strong, especially that one called Tang San. I think we should pay closer attention to them."
Qian Chenming nodded, but did not agree. "Are you saying they can defeat the Golden Generation? They won't, because some teams lack the prerequisites for winning the competition from the very start."
"Then, Great-grandfather, may I go see that woman?"
"Of course. Whatever monstrous crimes she has committed, she has always been your mother. There is nothing objectionable about meeting her."
Qian Chenming did not object.
Hearing this, Qian Renxue withdrew from the depths of the Worship Hall with even more complicated feelings.
The death row cells lay in the deepest reaches beneath Spirit Hall, untouched by daylight all year round.
Qian Renxue descended the damp stone steps, the darkness and cold deepening with every step.
Before long.
She stopped before a heavy iron door. When it opened, a rotten smell rushed into her face.
Only one dim oil lamp burned inside the cell, its wavering flame illuminating a figure curled in the corner.
Bibi Dong sat on a pile of straw with her back to her.
Qian Renxue stood in the doorway without approaching.
Not until Bibi Dong turned around herself did her gaze fall on Qian Renxue's face and pause briefly.
There was scrutiny in that gaze, and a trace of complexity, but not a hint of guilt.
That look made Qian Renxue's heart tighten, before she sneered.
She looked down from above at the woman before her. That face had once been graceful and regal; now it was somewhat pale and haggard, yet those eyes remained striking enough to sting.
"I heard you were locked up here, so I came specially to see what a sorry state you're in."
At this, the corners of Bibi Dong's mouth curled mockingly. "Have you seen it?"
"I have."
"Then you can leave."
But Qian Renxue did not move.
She stood there in silence for a long time before saying, "Still stubborn with death at your doorstep."
Bibi Dong smiled without any attempt to hide it. "Everyone else might watch me die, but you won't."
"I know you as well as I know myself."
"Don't compare yourself to me."
Qian Renxue flared up.
"My father."
Her voice held a note of pain as she spoke. She paused before continuing, "Did you kill him?"
The cell abruptly fell deathly silent.
Bibi Dong looked at her daughter, the dancing firelight reflected in those golden eyes.
She neither hesitated nor evaded her.
"I killed him."
Those simple words fell to the ground.
Qian Renxue's breath stopped for an instant.
She had thought she would be furious, lose control, rush forward and demand whether this woman had a heart at all. Yet when she actually heard those words, she found herself far calmer than she had imagined.
So calm that even she found it frightening.
"Why?"
Her voice was very soft as she asked, so soft it was as though she feared shattering something.
Bibi Dong looked at her without answering immediately.
"What do you think?"
"I want to hear you say it yourself."
Bibi Dong fell silent for a moment, then suddenly smiled.
There was neither triumph nor remorse in that smile, only an almost numb composure.
"He deserved to die."
"Just because he deserved to die?"
"Qian Renxue, do you know that you were never supposed to be born into this world? Your very existence is a mistake."
"You." Qian Renxue gritted her teeth, her eyes reddening slightly. "You killed your husband, you killed my father. Don't you feel even the slightest..."
"Guilt?"
Bibi Dong cut her off, her tone still level. "When your father died, I felt no guilt. I still don't."
Qian Renxue clenched her hands.
She looked at Bibi Dong before her, at this woman's eyes, so calm they were almost cruel, and suddenly found that she had no words with which to continue.
She had thought she could come to humiliate her, to question her, to vent the resentment she had accumulated over the years.
But Bibi Dong had given her no such chance.
This woman was more unperturbed than she had imagined, and more ruthless.
Qian Renxue suddenly felt somewhat weary.
She turned and walked toward the door. She no longer had any strength to face this woman.
And next.
There were still many things she needed to consider.
Before you continue