No-Swaying Shamelessness plus

"What are you doing?! What are you doing?!"

Lu Jin's booming voice rang out from inside, and the door was pushed open.

The three old men emerged to find Xi frozen in place. The others were also sweating nervously, their eyes fixed on Wang Zhuo.

Wang Zhuo paid them no mind and continued coaxing Feng Baobao. "Don't worry. Chulan and I both recognize you as our Sister Bao'er. Whatever happens, whatever trouble comes, even if the sky falls... Zhang Chulan will hold it up till he dies. And once he's dead, you've still got me."

"If you're willing to trust me this once, don't bottle up your grievances."

"I'm here for you."

Feng Baobao stared at him with wide eyes, then finally nodded after a long while. "Okay. I trust you."

"Oh, come on, everyone, don't get angry. What's going on here?"

Once Zhang Chulan confirmed Feng Baobao was all right, he hurried forward with a cheeky grin to smooth things over.

Only then did Xi snap out of it, complaining indignantly, "This Liu Guanyi came right up and tried to hit me! And he threatened to use me as a bang snap!"

"..."

The three old men and Zhang Chulan fell silent, looking from Wang Zhuo's tall, roughly six-foot-one frame to the diminutive Xi.

A bang snap... that really wasn't an unfair description.

Especially when they recalled Wang Zhuo swinging human nunchucks one-handed. They were absolutely certain he could do it.

The thought of this kid being used as a bang snap made Xu Si and Zhang Chulan struggle to hold back their laughter.

"What?! What's wrong with all of you?!" Xi glared at them.

Zhang Chulan covered his face. "Nothing, nothing. We just thought of something happy."

"My grandma's about to give birth to my grandpa~"

Xu Si held an unlit cigarette between his lips. "I choked. This cigarette's no good. Pfft-cough, cough, cough, cough!"

"Cough, cough, cough! I'm choking to death! Pfft~"

?????????

"Fuck!" Xi gritted his teeth in anger.

"If you're gonna bullshit me, at least make it convincing! What the fuck do you mean, your grandma's giving birth to your grandpa?!"

Zhi Jinhua rubbed her temples. "Those family relationships are too tangled. I can't make sense of them."

Xi turned to Lu Jin and hurried to complain. "Grandpa Lu! Look at him! This kid tried to put me in my place right off the bat!"

Lu Jin looked utterly speechless. He had only just been about to take on a grandson, and now Xi was coming to him with complaints. What was this supposed to be?

He turned him down helplessly. "Get lost. Who wants to bother with you little brats fighting?!"

"Scram, scram, all of you! If you want to fight, sneak off into the mountains where these bull-nosed Taoists can't find you. Don't annoy me by doing it in front of me. If someone gets killed out there, it's none of my business."

"And you, young Liu! Didn't you go off to take a piss? What, did you piss in someone's face?!"

Zhang Zhiwei's aged face was filled with speechless disapproval. "Old Lu, is that any way to teach children...?"

At that, Wang Zhuo darted up to Lu Jin and launched into a tearful singsong. "Oh, my dear, dear, dear, dear grandpa, let me tell you~~~ about this little bang snap~~~~... Ahem, I mean this kid. He came right up and bullied my sister."

"How could I put up with that? I only meant to give him a scare. I couldn't actually bully a child."

"No matter how shameless I am, could I be more shameless than Zhang Chulan?"

Lu Linglong's wide eyes were filled with clear, uncomprehending stupidity.

Grandpa?

How long was I gone? Ten minutes or so?

How has he already gotten himself a grandpa?

Wang Zhuo continued airing his grievances. "My three grandpas, this little bastard bullied your half-godgranddaughter. Who could stand for that? Who am I?"

"Zhang Chulan wouldn't dare take him on, but I would!"

"I'm a real man!"

Zhang Chulan: ???

"Fuck, you're using my name as an insult! You son of a bitch, how can you be even more shameless than me?!"

"So you're a real man, and I'm not, is that it?!"

"If you've got a problem, the two of us... the two of us, let's go get something to eat."

Zhang Chulan forcibly swallowed what he had been about to say.

"Ah, utterly shameless." Wang Zhuo sighed.

Everyone stared dumbfounded, inwardly cursing him as No-Swaying Shamelessness plus!

Wang Zhuo put an arm around Lu Jin's shoulders. "Come on, my three grandpas. How about some good food and a few drinks?"

Determined to save face, Lu Jin snorted and put on a tough front. "Get out of here. You're calling me Grandpa before you've even served me tea!"

"No, no. There's vegetarian food here in the mountains," Tian Jinzong declined with a smile.

"You youngsters go and eat."

Serve him tea?!

Everyone inwardly exclaimed, Holy shit, once again, deeply impressed by Wang Zhuo's shameless abilities.

What did Zhang Chulan amount to? At most, he was shameless enough to play dirty tricks!

This guy went straight to frantically claiming relatives!

That was downright disgraceful and low!

Despised by all.

Lowly and affected.

And what was the most important thing?

Old Master Lu hadn't refused! He'd only said he hadn't been served tea yet, which meant he'd accepted him.

Holy fucking shit!

Hidden Dragon gritted his teeth in anger. "I object! This bastard has designs on my goddess! Old Master Lu, you're showing the tiger the way and opening the door for the wolf!"

Lu Jin immediately activated his skill: ignore.

Ignore +1

Wang Zhuo turned and slung his arms around Feng Baobao and Zhang Chulan. "Let's go. If nothing else works, I'll head down the mountain and buy some good food, wine, and vegetarian dishes. Then we can all celebrate."

Zhang Chulan's eyes shifted. "My dear brother, your little brother really doesn't have any money on him. We're counting on you now. I know there's lotus-leaf chicken and crispy roast duck down the mountain. We've gotta get some."

"Yes, yes! Roast duck!" Feng Baobao's eyes lit up at the mention of roast duck.

Wang Zhuo patted his chest. "Call me big brother once, and I'm your big brother for life. What else is there to say? My treat, your money. Let's go."

"This kid." Lu Jin shook his head, unable to suppress the smile tugging at his lips.

Seeing the group leave amid laughter and horseplay, Zhi Jinhua hurried over to Lu Linglong and nudged her with an elbow.

"Linglong, I choose you! Get in there!"

Lu Linglong's little face flushed scarlet in an instant, and she could barely get her words out. "M-me?"

"How could I possibly say it?!"

"Great-Grandpa's right here! If he hears me, I'm dead!"

Xu Si didn't mind this suddenly appearing joker either and welcomed him without reservation. Then he waved to the three men behind them.

"Old Celestial Master! Elder Tian! Elder Lu! If there's nothing else, we'll be taking our leave!"

Zhang Zhiwei nodded. "All right, all right. We old fellows won't see you any farther."

As they made their way down the mountain, the sun quickly sank, bathing the mountain woods in fiery red.

The five of them were heading down when they heard calls from behind.

"Zhang Chulan! Brother Liu!"

"Hmm?" Wang Zhuo stopped first and turned to look behind him.

Lu Linglong was jogging after them with a group of young people, sweat still on her face.

Seeing him stop, Lu Linglong called out delightedly, "Brother Liu, wait for us!"

"Ohhh, Brother Liu~ Brother Liu~" Zhang Chulan muttered mockingly beside him, unable to shake the sour jealousy in his heart.

"Brother Liu, don't go~ I can't bear to part with you~~~"

"Are you in heat?" Wang Zhuo gave a helpless, wry smile and pushed away Zhang Chulan, who had sidled up to make a nuisance of himself.

Those remarks made Lu Linglong blush even more fiercely, and she hurriedly waved her hands. "No, no!"

"It's not like that!"