Actually, My Taste Is a Little Better Than a Dog's

Inside a shabby rented room.

On a shabby iron bed.

Xu Su took a few minutes to calm down and finally confirmed that he really had transmigrated into a book.

And it had fucking happened after he'd stayed up for six straight nights and just delivered a roast duck from the capital to Antarctica, before he could even tap "Order completed"!

Heavens, that was seriously presumptuous of you.

I've got a "fuck your mother" on the tip of my tongue. May I say it?

But on second thought, forget it. He was here now.

After all, that was how things went these days. The bastard heavens didn't negotiate.

But!

Couldn't they have put him in someone with slightly better circumstances?!

It would've been one thing if the original owner of this body had just been so poor he had no house, no car, and no money, but he also fucking owed fifty million in loans!

It would've been one thing if, as an entertainer in showbiz, he simply wasn't popular, but he was so fucking obscure he made the bottom of a burnt pot look bright!

Was this a fucking joke?!

"Ding ding ding ding ding... chirp chirp chirp~~~"

While Xu Su was busy cursing, his phone suddenly rang.

He glanced at the contact name: Brother Nan.

Xu Su: ?

Chan Ho-nam?

He didn't remember anyone by that name in the book.

Whatever. Answer first.

"Hello, thank you for calling. I'm happy to assist you."

The other end: "..."

Silence.

In that strange silence, Xu Su abruptly remembered: Fuck! Wrong line! That was from my customer service job before I started delivering food.

He hurriedly corrected himself. "Hey, which dickhead are you?"

The other end: "..."

Still silent.

When no one spoke, Xu Su switched to the international language. "Hello? Who are you?"

The other end: "..."

Not a sound.

Now Xu Su was getting impatient.

Chinese didn't work, and neither did English. Did that mean... he needed to speak islandese?!

He gave it a try. "*&%￥#@!#￥%#￥#%?"

The other end: "..."

Terrifyingly quiet.

Fine, time to hang up. Any more questions would be rude.

Whoever was on the other end had to be a black-hearted baboon that hadn't finished evolving.

With that firm conviction, Xu Su decisively hung up.

But just a few seconds later, the call came again.

Xu Su impatiently tapped to answer. "Hello? Ex-squeeze me?"

"...Squeeze your fucking grandma!!"

"What the hell is wrong with you today?!"

"Everything coming out of your mouth is fucking weird!!"

The person on the other end finally spoke, though his voice was exceptionally explosive, as if he'd eaten three Hu Yifeis.

The noise made Xu Su's ears ache, and he couldn't help moving the phone farther away.

"I'm perfectly normal. You're the one who wouldn't say anything."

"...Do you still want to go on Return to a Simple Life?! How dare you talk to me like that?!"

The furious barrage continued from the other end.

Hearing that unfamiliar yet familiar title, Xu Su finally remembered that the original owner was currently in a state of "nearing extinction and desperately begging for work."

He hurriedly changed his tune. "Yes, yes, yes! Please, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead. Hehe..."

"Hmph!"

The book Xu Su had transmigrated into was called Darling Baby, Sinking Together. He'd read the ebook in his spare time.

The original owner shared his full name and had originally been a hugely popular young actor. He had the looks and the acting skills, with a dazzling career ahead of him.

Unfortunately, this book's damned author had assigned him the fate of a cannon-fodder second male lead and hopeless simp.

His entire storyline basically consisted of one thing: simp! For! Li! Wei! Zhou!

Li Weizhou was the novel's male lead and top, a hugely popular star in the entertainment industry who had won Best Actor at the Shenma Awards the previous year.

Ever since the original owner had fallen in love with this award-winning actor at first sight on a variety show a year earlier, he'd gone completely off the rails-

Not only had he frantically confessed his love to Li Weizhou on every possible occasion, declaring that he would marry no one else,

He'd also emptied his savings and borrowed another fifty million to buy a priceless blue heart-shaped diamond at a jewelry auction as a gift for Li Weizhou.

And Li Weizhou?

He'd accepted the gift, but not the feelings.

What a bastard~

That wasn't even the worst of it.

Even more infuriatingly, after secretly accepting the diamond, Li Weizhou had immediately announced his relationship with another popular young actor, drawing a clean line between himself and the original owner.

As a result, the original owner had repeatedly trended for all the abuse he received over his devoted, one-sided love, and his public image had collapsed into a stinking sewer.

How miserable~

Anyway, back to the present. With his enormous loan debt, the original owner now couldn't afford to eat,

So he'd spent this whole time begging his manager, Cheng Nan, to see if he could get someone as hopelessly washed-up as him onto some show to earn his meals and pay off a little of his debt along the way.

Cheng Nan had initially ignored him.

After all, he was now an entertainer with "three nothings"-

No popularity!

No brains!

No powerful backer!

Under those circumstances, Cheng Nan naturally hadn't wanted to waste any more resources on him.

Strangely, though, Cheng Nan had suddenly messaged him the night before, saying that a lifestyle variety show was short of a cast member and he could go.

The pay was just a little low: only 0.003 million.

Xu Su's face streamed with tears: Low pay is one thing, but you're still fucking measuring it in millions? Are you even human? ┭┮﹏┭┮

Once Cheng Nan finished yapping about the things he needed to keep in mind for the show, Xu Su politely declined:

"Sorry, Brother Nan, but I'm not doing this show. The pay's too low. Even a dog wouldn't give it a second glance. Tell them to find someone else."

Cheng Nan said, "The contract's already signed. The penalty for breaching it is three million. Are you sure?"

Xu Su said, "...Actually, my taste is a little better than a dog's."

After hanging up, Xu Su instinctively opened Weibo.

Notification sounds instantly flooded in.

After nearly two minutes of lag, 99+ comments and private messages popped up.

He casually scrolled through them.

Yep. Unsurprisingly, they were all nasty comments.

The abusive private messages in particular would probably have driven anyone more fragile to hang themselves on the spot.

Lowering his eyes, Xu Su thought for a moment, then opened the post editor.

Half a minute later, the following post appeared on his personal page:

[Xu Su V]: Just had surgery to remove my hopeless-romantic brain. I feel fucking fantastic now. My eyes aren't blind anymore, and neither is my heart. I could sleep with eight big, strapping tops in one go (any volunteers? Local applicants preferred [rose][rose][rose])

This wasn't remotely the sort of thing a normal entertainer would say. It was downright explosive.

[Heads-up: first-! This is a silly, trope-filled comedy with absolutely no logic whatsoever. Second-! Everything else is secondary! Go ahead and leave your brains behind while you read. None of the secondary stuff matters.]

[P.S. To all the lovely ladies who wandered in by mistake, don't rush to close the page. Since you're here, remember to leave a five-star review + send some "Power of Love" support before you go-yes, that's right, this author's skin is made of stainless steel.]