Summer weather always changed quickly. The morning had been bright and sunny, but by afternoon, dark clouds blanketed the sky, threatening wind and rain, as though heaven had cooked up this little show out of boredom.
Before stepping into the tennis center, Master Xu, who had been busy for most of the day, tilted his head toward the sky and lamented, "What a waste of perfect napping weather."
"..."
Huo Yuchen adjusted the bandage around his wrist and turned to look at him. "May I ask what you were doing from one to two this afternoon? Taking a morning nap?"
Xu Su shook his head with an air of affected profundity.
"You don't understand. Only a nap of at least three hours counts as a nap. Anything less is just catching your breath."
"It's like how wage slaves only get to call it a break if they have at least two consecutive days off. Otherwise, that's just catching your breath too."
Huo Yuchen couldn't help laughing. "You certainly understand the plight of workers at the bottom."
"What good does my understanding do?"
Xu Su began taking sarcastic, indirect jabs at him. "Those fascist bosses who spend all day exploiting their employees and monopolizing their time are the ones who should understand!"
"..."
Not understanding, Huo Yuchen asked, "I haven't exploited you or monopolized your time, have I?"
Xu Su withdrew his gaze from freedom and gave him a sidelong glare. "Travel back in time and ask King Zhou of Shang whether he thought he was a tyrant."
Huo Yuchen didn't know whether to laugh or cry. "All right, all right, stop laying into me. You just want to go back to sleep, don't you? Go ahead."
"Huh?!"
Xu Su's eyes instantly lit up. "Really?!"
Huo Yuchen chuckled and was just about to nod when his phone rang.
Before he could answer, Xu Su's phone rang beside him too.
"Hello?!"
"Hello."
"What?!"
"Mm."
"Fuck!!"
"Sure."
They lowered their phones and turned to look at each other, their polar-opposite moods forming an even sharper contrast at that moment:
"What the hell is that bastard Yu Daniu playing at?!!!"
Xu Su flew into a rage.
"Obviously, he wants to squeeze out another round of ratings while there's still buzz."
Huo Yuchen remained as calm as still water.
"...He can go harvest his own foot stink for all I care! What the fuck does that have to do with me?!!"
Xu Su was practically breathing smoke through his nostrils, every word forced through clenched back teeth:
"Why do I have to switch shows? And why the fuck does it have to be that gay show?!!"
Huo Yuchen raised his eyebrows slightly, a trace of surprise and confusion flashing through his eyes as he asked carefully:
"Do you... dislike the show, or...?"
"I dislike the show's shitty! Living!! Conditions!!!"
If this had been a comic, Xu Su would have been engulfed in flames by now.
Because Li Weizhou and Zhuang Luo-actually, Xu Su-had caused such a huge mess, Return to a Simple Life had encountered so much opposition from haters that filming could no longer continue.
But the sustained buzz around those men was simply too tempting.
And so, Director Yu Daniu came up with a solution-
Drop those walking buzz generators straight into another show that currently faced no opposition and had sufficiently powerful backing!
That way, he got the best of both worlds!
Hahahahahaha!
"Have you finished laughing?"
A low voice steeped in resentment suddenly sounded beside his ear.
Yu Daniu was so startled that he sprang out of his rocking chair. "Wh-who are you?!"
"Sadako's older brother, Resentment!"
Clutching his luggage, Xu Su glared at him through gritted teeth.
Switching to this show gave Yu Daniu the best of both worlds, but for Xu Su, it was an even bigger disaster.
Because this show's filming location was bizarre-so bizarre that it was one of a kind in the industry.
Almost every guest who had filmed this variety show went home and blocked the entire crew, including the director.
-After all, no one really wanted to live out Robinson Crusoe.
Knowing full well that he'd done something underhanded, Yu Daniu hurried over with an ingratiating smile:
"Mr. Xu, Mr. Huo, thank you for making the trip. Come, come, have a seat, have a seat."
Xu Su ignored him and turned to examine their surroundings.
They were now on a sparsely populated stretch of coast somewhere in Y City, the production team's meeting point.
Once all six guests arrived, they would take a boat to that deserted island to film for a week.
And this so-called deserted island was deserted in the truest sense of the word, without even electricity.
They would have to handle every aspect of daily life themselves, including drawing their own drinking water from a well.
This was what Xu Su couldn't understand.
"I'm going because my contract with Yu Daniu hasn't expired, and I can't afford the penalty for breaking it, so I had no choice but to agree. But why do you have to go?"
With his hands on his hips, he glared at Huo Yuchen, suspicion filling his slightly narrowed eyes. "Did Yu Daniu witness you killing someone?"
"...Can't you think of something nicer?"
Huo Yuchen felt a little drained.
"Something nicer?"
Puffing out his cheeks, Xu Su turned to look at Yu Daniu, who was brewing them some tea with single-use Lipton black tea bags nearby.
As his suspicious gaze swept over that mercenary, ugly, middle-aged face, Xu Su felt that his previous answer had already been the kindest possible assumption.
But since Huo Yuchen had said so, he couldn't very well cling too stubbornly to his own opinion, so he offered a second guess:
"Did Yu Daniu witness you dismembering someone?"
"..."
Huo Yuchen took a deep breath, pinched his cheeks, and said through gritted teeth:
"He hasn't witnessed it before, true. But if you keep guessing along those lines, he'll soon get to witness and participate in me killing and dismembering someone."
Xu Su's mouth formed an O, and he didn't dare move, as though he'd been scared senseless.
Huo Yuchen couldn't help laughing. He gave his pretty little face another squeeze. "Be good. Sit down."
"Oh."
Xu Su sat obediently in the old wicker chair that was practically ready for burial, looking just like a little wife who had just been scolded by his domineering husband.
After a wait of about ten minutes, the other four guests arrived too.
But once Xu Su got a clear look at them, he promptly sprayed out a mouthful of that same old Lipton black tea and nearly choked to death.
"Cough, cough, cough..."
Good heavens, who could have imagined it? Not only did this show's guests include his old acquaintances Li Weizhou and Zhuang Luo, but his fucking new acquaintance Fang Han too?!!
-It was impossible to imagine what an epic battlefield this would become!!!
As soon as they met, Zhuang Luo wore a gentle, kindly smile and took the initiative to greet them with warmth that stayed within the bounds of politeness:
"Mr. Huo, it's been a while."
"Xu Su, it's been a while."
Just as when they first met, he still came across as so gentle, kind, positive, and upbeat.
Except his voice was inexplicably a little hoarse, as though he'd been through something just before coming.
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