Give me a kiss!

In the video, Xu Chao wore denim overalls, his face smeared with dirt from who knew where. His entire little face was dusty, and his overalls were filthy too. Whip in hand, he was herding several equally filthy pigs.

[Xu Chao spends all day dancing with pigs. Dirty and smelly. Absolutely disgusting.]

[Someone like Xu Chao doesn't even look like a celebrity. He can't compare to an influencer. His classiness is in the negatives.]

[Honestly, Xu Chao's image in my mind is now permanently tied to a farmer in a pigpen.]

[If I were a brand or a director, I'd rather die than hire him for an endorsement or a drama. He's so tacky and dirty, with no presence whatsoever.]

The advertiser woke up to find the sky had fallen.

That footage was clearly from after Xu Chao had finished shooting the commercial, when the mood had struck him to race horses across the grass, compete with pigs over who could eat more, and compete with lambs over who was cuter...

Secretly filmed. It had absolutely been secretly filmed!

Naturally, finding whoever had secretly filmed and leaked the video was crucial, but more importantly, they had to hurry and find a way to kill the buzz completely-or seize the opportunity to release the commercial and ride this ill wind to push its popularity to the peak.

The advertiser chose the second option with almost no hesitation.

And so, when most people woke from their dreams and dejectedly greeted another shitty workday, they opened Weibo and were jolted wide awake.

Across a vast, boundless grassland, a herd of pigs thundered along. The young man running in front wore a little yellow hat and denim overalls, his smile brilliant and brimming with youth.

The scene cut to the young man standing on the vast grassland, with plump, sturdy pigs filling the background around him.

He wore a white lab coat and black-framed glasses, holding a Pig-Raising Handbook.

"The Pig-Raising Handbook is easy to understand and comprehensive."

"Read it like this, like this, or even like this."

"Whichever way you read it, it's useful. One immersive read, and pig raising holds no more tricky problems."

At this point in the copy, the scene abruptly changed.

An adorable white pig popped onto the screen.

Next, a dark, rugged black pig slowly folded toward the front left to face the camera.

Finally, a delicate pink pig slowly folded toward the front right to face the camera.

The three differently colored pig faces opened their mouths in grins at the same time.

"Triple-fold. Whichever way you fold it, there's a pig."

[What an absurd commercial. Triple-fold. Whichever way you fold it, there's a side.]

[The piggies are so cute and well-behaved, and so perceptive. They look like they can understand people. Otherwise, how could their movements be so coordinated?]

[My god, who called Xu Chao a bumpkin? White coat, gold-rimmed glasses-he's absolutely killing it!]

[Actually, even in that overalls video from the early hours, he was still so adorable and sunny despite being filthy.]

The paid trolls actually thought the commenters had a point, but no point could ever outweigh money.

Even if they didn't mean it, they'd taken the money, so they had to get the job done!

[Xu Chao is a bumpkin. Tacky, fat, and dirty all over.]

[The circle Xu Chao belongs in isn't entertainment circles. It's a pigpen.]

[I'm really curious how Xu Chao's parents raised him. Awful personality, lousy character. All he knows how to do is play to the crowd.]

The Xu family woke up furious too.

Their precious son had endured countless hardships and finally come home to enjoy a good life, not to be subjected to abuse.

They couldn't stand it. Not one bit.

Lin Zhiya went straight to her main account.

Lin Zhiya: My son is wonderful and outstanding. He's sincere and warm toward others, hardworking and dedicated to his job, and far better than you people who only know how to maliciously attack others from behind a screen. I'm Chaochao's mother. If you have a problem, come at me. Don't you dare slander my baby!

[???]

[Goddess Zhiya, blink if your account's been hacked!]

[Wait, then that Sasaeng Fan at the police station yesterday was...]

[What a filial son, I'm dying. He had his own mother taken to the station as a Sasaeng Fan. Who could outdo him at absurdity?!]

[Am I the only one who thinks Goddess Zhiya is pretty absurd too? Why was she following her own son?!]

[Xu Chao is actually Goddess Zhiya's son? Doesn't that also make him the Xu Consortium's young master?!]

[Fiction has become reality. A musically gifted mother, a CEO father, and their unhinged son.]

His mother took immediate action, and his father hurried to catch up.

Lin Zhiya was something of a public figure, with her own Weibo account and nearly ten million followers, so plenty of people saw her post as soon as she spoke up.

Although Xu Ruhan was a powerful, domineering CEO, stirring up storms online wasn't his ambition. Only after Xu Chao joined the Real and Fake Husbands Program had he asked his assistant to register a side account on Weibo, specifically to boost rankings and engagement.

Consequently, Xu Ruhan posted a string of Weibo updates that no one noticed, until Lin Zhiya reminded him to use the official account.

Only then did Xu Ruhan wake up to his mistake. He recorded a video with Lin Zhiya and published it through the Xu Consortium's official corporate account.

The video began with some official boilerplate, essentially stating that the Xu Consortium's legal department would pursue all abuse and slander directed at Xu Chao, and that no one was allowed to bully the Xu Consortium's young master!

But as they spoke, somehow the topic went off course.

Unable to contain her emotions, Lin Zhiya said, "Chaochao is our beloved youngest son, and the little darling we owe the most to..."

Xu Ruhan held her hand. "That's all in the past. From now on, we'll love him twice as much and never let him suffer the slightest injustice."

Lin Zhiya wiped her eyes and smiled. "Aren't you afraid you'll spoil him rotten?"

Xu Ruhan was very confident. "I actually wish I could spoil Chaochao into a lawless little terror. That way, he wouldn't get bullied so easily. But he's too well-behaved. He wouldn't do anything bad at all. He's kindhearted and innocent."

Joy lit up Lin Zhiya's face. "Chaochao is innocent and adorable, clever and quick-witted. I still remember his kindergarten teacher praising him all the time for being smart and thinking quickly. He was such a responsible little class monitor too."

[Sorry to be presumptuous, Goddess Lin, President Xu, but did you get the wrong son?]

[Hahaha, that's incredibly presumptuous of you, but I happened to want to ask the same thing.]

[Innocent and kind, dedicated to his work, sweet and obedient-is this really that mischievous Chaochao we're talking about?]

[Hahahaha, now I believe President Xu and Goddess Lin are his biological parents. Who else could have rose-colored glasses that thick?]

[Did you forget President Fu? That man could agree with a straight face that he learned about raising pigs, cattle, and sheep from a murder mystery game!]

While the internet buzzed with discussion of Xu Chao's identity, some people in the real world were also unable to sit still because of the news.

Shen Xinbai paced back and forth by the window.

Naturally, he knew who Xu Chao's biological parents were.

But Xu Chao had never been close to his parents, and the Xu family didn't bother with him either. When Xu Chao had been viciously attacked online before, not a single member of the Xu family had stepped in to help.

But what was going on now?

Why had they suddenly acknowledged him publicly?!

Shen Xinbai couldn't figure it out, but now the most terrifying thing had happened.

The bumpkin image he'd just steered people toward had completely collapsed.

After all, when a rich person wore slippers and baggy shorts, he was being low-key and down-to-earth.

But if a poor person did it, he was a filthy loser who should get lost!

That was exactly the situation now. With Xu Chao's identity as a wealthy family's young master exposed, hiring paid trolls to steer public opinion was useless.

What could he do now? Shen Xinbai was worried sick.

And what was Xu Chao doing at that moment? Of course he'd seen the haters viciously attacking him online. With his temper, would he swallow it in silence? Of course not.

Then why hadn't he made a move yet?

Because he was cooking up something big.

Xu Chao proudly presented the triple-fold cuddle edition, even specifically calling Lin Yang over to film it with him.

Xu Chao explained earnestly, "I'll do this, you'll do this, and he'll do that. Got it?"

Lin Yang more or less understood and obediently nodded.

Fu Sichen had a vague understanding too and cooperatively murmured his assent.

Then they began!

First, Xu Chao lay flat on his back on the floor, his body perfectly straight.

Next, Fu Sichen held himself above him in a push-up position.

Finally, Lin Yang stacked himself over the two of them in a backbend.

Comrade Xu Chao, serving as director, screenwriter, and cameraman, had originally been secretly delighted. This was the benefit of power! He'd abused his authority to assign himself the easiest part.

Yet when the man braced himself above him and slowly lowered his body, thighs, hips, and chest-every inch of muscle seemed to fit against him. Sensations both cool and scorching instantly swept through his entire body.

Close, close, too close!

Especially now, with his body completely spread open, fully exposed beneath the man.

That intensely predatory gaze swept over him, as though he were a naked lamb about to be devoured whole...

Xu Chao's heartbeat sped up uncontrollably, and he turned his face away in a fluster.

A glimmer flashed through Fu Sichen's dark eyes. He asked softly, "What are you hiding from?"

As soon as the man spoke, the powerful vibrations from his chest passed directly into Xu Chao, sending a tingling, ticklish weakness through his whole body.

Xu Chao's voice was very small and soft. "N-nothing."

Fu Sichen stared at him.

Xu Chao's heart pounded like a drum, and he'd nearly bitten through his lower lip when the man suddenly gave another soft chuckle. "Your ears are red."

Those words were like a fuse. In an instant, Xu Chao's entire face burned as red as a monkey's backside.

But blushing was one thing. What did that have to do with his stubborn mouth?

"No, they're not. My skin's thicker than a city wall. I don't blush."

Fu Sichen lowered himself a little farther, pleasure coloring his deep voice. "Let me take a closer look."

The crisp, pleasant scent of cedar mingled with his scorching breath, winding around the young man's body in wisps. Xu Chao's lower back went weak, with an unbearable trace of ticklishness. "Don't."

Fu Sichen stared, his prominent Adam's apple bobbing.

The charged atmosphere continued to build.

Just then, an urgent cry came from above. "Are you two done talking? Can we start? I can't hold on much longer."

Although Lin Yang had studied dance since childhood and had solid fundamentals, making a backbend easy, the problem was that these two had become addicted to flirting and still hadn't called for them to start. His hands and feet had gone numb. He really couldn't hold on anymore!

Xu Chao abruptly came back to his senses and hurriedly said, "Start, start."

Lin Yang breathed a sigh of relief and rose to turn over to the left, following the movement they'd agreed on earlier. But his already numb legs wouldn't obey. With a yelp, he toppled sideways.

Fortunately, because Lin Yang was afraid of Fu Sichen, he hadn't dared get close to him at all, so his fall wouldn't affect anyone else.

But wait. Somehow, Fu Sichen was affected too.

His arms suddenly went weak, and his entire body dropped down as though out of control.

His lips unexpectedly landed on...

Soft, sweet...

Xu Chao's eyes flew wide. The instant he felt the man's lips, no romantic thoughts ran through his head. Instead, he thought, The internet didn't lie to me. No matter how cold a man is, his rectum-no, his lips-are still warm.

Xu Chao was stunned. Completely stunned.

Wait, how had he and Fu Sichen ended up kissing?!

Could he survive after defiling a yandere big shot?

Panic filled Xu Chao's heart. He looked up to see the man straighten slightly, his tongue licking his lips as though he hadn't quite had enough.

That move was sexy as hell!

In an instant, Xu Chao's little head overruled his big one. To die beneath peonies was to remain a romantic even as a ghost. Kiss him. Kiss him back hard!

But just then, Lin Yang climbed up from the floor, turned to see this scene, and couldn't stop himself from shouting, "Holy shit!"

The shout thoroughly hauled Xu Chao's runaway big head back home. They'd actually kissed. What now? He couldn't think of anything.

Then he might as well find something to do and pretend he was busy!

So Xu Chao abruptly shoved Fu Sichen to the right, then faced the camera with his little face scarlet and delivered the advertising copy with impassioned fervor.

"Triple-fold. Whichever way you fold it, there's a side."

"Triple-fold. Whichever way you fold it, there's a kiss."

Fu Sichen: "..."

Lin Yang: "..."

The assembled netizens: "..."

[Just when I expected Xu Chao to pull some stunt, he gave us an idol-drama romantic kiss. Just when I'd taken my pants off, he started pulling stunts!]

[It's absurd, but it's so sweet. Real husbands really are the best. We get bonus content even when they're not livestreaming!]

[I'll fight anyone who says Top cp isn't real. Young Master Fu is even willing to venture into adult videos!]

[Buddy, that's crude, but you've got a point. Hahaha, pass it on: Young Master Fu ventures into adult entertainment for love!]

While the internet went wild, Xu Chao slunk off to the set. After all, kissing his arranged-marriage husband was a little more than he could handle. He needed to calm down first.

He'd more or less finished filming his individual scenes over the past two days. Today, he would start his scenes with the film's male lead.

When it came to acting, Xu Chao was entirely relaxed, going through makeup and changing clothes with practiced ease.

The makeup artist's eyes lit up the moment she saw Xu Chao. She winked and grinned at him. "Oh, looking good. Your lips are so vividly red today, we won't need lipstick."

That was far too pointed.

Xu Chao immediately blushed and confessed without being asked. "I-I, we only kissed once. We didn't do anything else."

She covered her mouth and giggled. "I didn't say anything. What are you feeling guilty about?"

Xu Chao, whose mouth was the toughest part of his entire body, tossed his head with an air of supreme swagger. "I'm not guilty in the slightest. He's my legal husband. So what if I kissed him? Even if I slept with him, he'd have it coming."

Her eyes instantly lit up, and she gave him a thumbs-up. "Chaochao, you're fierce!"

Xu Chao's ego swelled. Raising his brows, he said, "You think Jingshi's number-one macho man is kidding around?"

A low chuckle suddenly came from behind him. "So that's how it is. I've long heard of your great reputation."

Hearing the sound, Xu Chao's ears twitched. He turned to see a flashy man in a floral shirt.

Xu Chao's clever little eyes darted around. Who was this now?

But not recognizing him didn't matter. When in doubt, call him little bro. He knew that routine.

"Yo, you're here, little bro. Don't be shy. Come sit."

At that familiar tone, the man froze briefly, then quickly laughed, fond longing coloring his eyes and brows. "Little bro? Chaochao, you always used to call me big brother."