Bieshu Feifan thought he had escaped disaster, but just after dinner, he heard a knock at the door: knock, knock, knock.
Bieshu Feifan's home stood near the outskirts of Konoha. It had only a bedroom and a living room, with the kitchen in the living room and the toilet outside.
Bieshu Feifan had been reincarnated at birth. He did not know who his parents were, but they had left him this home.
There was money, too, but not much. If he scrimped and saved, it would last until he was ten or so.
Because Bieshu Feifan had brought his memories of his previous life with him, learning this world's language had been especially difficult. He had only learned to speak after turning four, leading people to suspect an intellectual disability. He could not get along with children his age and had almost no friends.
Who would come looking for me this late at night?
Curious, Bieshu Feifan went to open the door anyway, only to see Richuan Taiban's mocking face.
At the sight of him, Bieshu Feifan's expression darkened, and a bad feeling rose in his heart.
"Teacher Richuan, are you lost?"
Richuan Taiban's previously excellent mood immediately soured. He looked sternly at Bieshu Feifan and handed him a sheet of paper.
"Student Bieshu, this is a question Lord Hokage prepared especially for you. Answer it correctly, and you'll be allowed to graduate as a genin."
Bieshu Feifan's expression turned particularly ugly. He picked up the paper and looked. It was almost entirely blank, with only a few large words printed at the top:
Explain your understanding of the Will of Fire.
That bastard Hiruzen Sarutobi definitely came up with this fucking question.
Bieshu Feifan cursed inwardly, took the test paper with a grim face, and shut the door.
Richuan Taiban's teasing voice still came from outside:
"Student Bieshu, bring it to my office tomorrow morning."
Only after sitting down did Bieshu Feifan curse aloud:
"Fuck."
He had thought that performing badly enough and making sharp enough arguments would keep him off the battlefield.
He had never imagined that such a trivial matter could reach Hiruzen Sarutobi.
And Hiruzen Sarutobi, the Hokage, apparently had nothing better to do than personally set a question to make life difficult for an elementary school student.
No wonder Konoha went further and further downhill afterward. Hiruzen Sarutobi was bored out of his fucking mind and spent all his time doing rotten things.
Still, curse as he might, he had to write about the Will of Fire.
Bieshu Feifan was still only a child, not even a Shinobi, and lacked even the ability to use his cheat. For now, he did not dare offend Hiruzen Sarutobi.
So Bieshu Feifan immediately picked up his pen and began writing an essay at length.
The essay reached Richuan Taiban's office the next day, and Richuan Taiban then took it to the Hokage Building with a dark expression.
By noon, after a busy day, Hiruzen Sarutobi finally remembered the recruitment matter Richuan Taiban had raised yesterday.
He dug out the documents and soon found the essay by the student named Bieshu Feifan.
Hiruzen Sarutobi frowned as soon as he took the essay.
He remembered using a clean, tidy sheet of paper, but the one handed back was crumpled and covered in corrections. It was unpleasant to look at.
But Hiruzen Sarutobi was someone who would exercise his authority as Hokage even if it killed him. Especially when it concerned the Will of Fire, his proudest political achievement, he had to read it no matter what.
The essay read:
The Will of Fire is good, really good.
The Will of Fire is great, really great.
Oh, fire, you can grill fish, roast pork, and cook rice.
Oh, right, you can roast rabbits, too. Speaking of barbecuing, I have quite a few insights...
Ever since I was little, I've wondered where fire comes from.
After years of exhaustive research with my invincible intellect, I discovered that setting the woods around Konoha alight would produce a blaze big enough to roast dozens of tons of meat. It would just take a little care...
But where does fire come from?
Oh, right, if we cut down every forest in the Land of Fire, piled it all inside Konoha, and had the Uchiha light it, the view from Hokage Rock would definitely be wonderful...
But where does fire come from?
Right, the Uchiha seem to know how to set fires. Come to think of it, Lord Hokage seems to know how to set fires, too. Otherwise, he wouldn't be the Hokage.
Speaking of setting fires, I have some ideas...
After barely managing to finish the essay on the Will of Fire, Hiruzen Sarutobi felt even more exhausted. He picked up his pipe, took two hard puffs, and ordered:
"Tell Richuan Chunin that this Bieshu Feifan is allowed to graduate."
As Hiruzen Sarutobi finished speaking, a figure hidden in the shadows acknowledged the order and vanished from the Hokage's office.
Earlier, Hiruzen Sarutobi had thought Bieshu Feifan's Will of Fire seemed fairly good. Now, however, it was utter nonsense.
He also regretted it privately. He should never have held out hope for someone who had only learned to speak at four and was suspected of having a mild intellectual disability. Reading it had only sullied his eyes for nothing.
Still, serving as cannon fodder to plug the front lines did not require intelligence. They were all cannon fodder anyway. Being able to run and throw shuriken was enough.
When school ended that afternoon, Bieshu Feifan received his Shinobi forehead protector. His hands trembled as he accepted it from the smiling Richuan Taiban, his face turning white.
He had never imagined he could graduate even after that.
Only now did Bieshu Feifan realize that, in the original timeline, Hiruzen Sarutobi had not been senile. He had simply been an idiot all along.
"Congratulations, Genin Bieshu."
Richuan Taiban was the first to speak, and the other students, who had received their genin forehead protectors yesterday, offered their congratulations as well.
Only Bieshu Feifan stood pale-faced, inwardly cursing every ancestor of Richuan Taiban and Hiruzen Sarutobi.
Richuan Taiban was delighted. Now, apart from the dozen or so students who were clearly intellectually disabled, everyone in his class had graduated.
"Students, once again, congratulations on becoming genin."
"Thank you for promoting us, teacher."
"Thank you, Lord Hokage."
These brats, still unaware that the vast majority of them would soon become cannon fodder on the front lines, were all overjoyed. It never occurred to them to wonder why not one of their peers from the advanced class who had graduated early had returned.
Then again, the Second War had already been raging for seven years. The intelligent, talented students had long since gone to plug the front lines.
Those whose turn had only come now would, back on Earth, basically have been the little Johnny in elementary math textbooks who could not figure out anything.
After exchanging pleasantries with the thirty-odd students for a while, Richuan Taiban finally got to the point.
"Everyone, remember to assemble at the gate at eight tomorrow morning. Lord Hokage has already assigned you a mission."
Hearing that they already had a mission, Bieshu Feifan knew there was no avoiding it and could not help letting out a long sigh.
He was too weak to control whether he lived or died.
He had already acted so unintelligent, yet because he still had not been idiotic enough, he had been forced to graduate early.
Bieshu Feifan deeply regretted it. He should have drooled while listening in class.
The night passed quickly. Early the next morning, Bieshu Feifan gathered with countless other cannon fodder in a clearing not far from the Konoha Gate.
This batch of cannon fodder bound for the battlefield included not only the thirty-odd people from Bieshu Feifan's class, but students from other classes and over a hundred genin who had graduated at some unknown point.
Though their ages varied, they were all young. Most still had only peach fuzz for facial hair and looked no older than twenty.
Bieshu Feifan mingled with the crowd, showing none of a fresh recruit's excitement. He looked just like a veteran genin.
Before long, several tall figures walked over and bellowed:
"Quiet! We'll begin assigning teams now."
After a commotion, Bieshu Feifan was assigned to serve under a member of the Hyuga Branch Family.
He recognized the man's identity because his team leader had eyes that looked like they had cataracts.
There were also faint green traces on his forehead.
Needless to say, it was the Caged Bird Seal.
Watching that pair of Byakugan amble toward him, Bieshu Feifan's eyes immediately lit up, but he forcibly suppressed his excitement.
"My name is Hyūga Shupi. I'm a seasoned veteran genin, and I'll be your team leader."
Hyūga Shupi folded his arms and looked at Bieshu Feifan and the other two with a touch of arrogance as he spoke in a deep voice.
He was fourteen or fifteen, yet looked like a middle-aged man.
"Hello, captain. I'm Xiangjie Dashou. I only became a Shinobi yesterday. Please guide me."
"I'm Maoxu Ang, a genin. In the future, I'll become a chunin, or even a Jōnin. If I really become a Jōnin, I think I'll make a bid for Hokage."
"Bieshu Feifan."
Looking at the three brats under his command, none older than ten, Hyūga Shupi sneered inwardly. He felt around in his ninja tool pouch and took out three kunai.
"One each. Take them."
Taking a kunai, Bieshu Feifan asked:
"That's it? What about long swords? Explosive tags? Armor?"
Hyūga Shupi sneered.
"You were supposed to provide your own kunai, but I'm kindhearted, so I gave you new ones. If you want explosive tags and Shinobi vests, buy them yourselves."
The kunai did not feel right in his hand.
It was not even as handy as an ordinary dagger.
And so, armed with a single kunai, Bieshu Feifan set off for the front with the main force.
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