Asking himself whether he could truly let go

The air was thick with the sickening stench of blood.

"Be good, little bunny."

"Open up the door."

"Hurry, open up."

"I want to come inside."

An eerie male voice hummed the nursery rhyme with a smile.

"Help me, I want to go home..."

The crying grew louder and louder.

His vision gradually sharpened from a blur.

Blood and mangled remains covered the floor. At the center, a boy had an iron chain fastened tightly around his neck. Vivid blood kept pouring from his abdomen, where a wound slashed across his waist ran so deep it nearly exposed bone.

"It hurts so much, help me, it hurts, hurts, let me go home."

"Please let me go, it hurts, I want to go home."

"I want to go home."

The boy's face was deathly pale. Fresh tears washed over the dried tear tracks on his cheeks again and again, his eyes red and swollen. Time after time, he struggled to crawl away, only for the chain's owner to drag him back.

The man chuckled in the darkness, softly repeating the same lyrics: "Be good, little bunny, don't cry."

The chain clattered against the floor, blood dripped, and the eerie nursery rhyme mingled with weak sobs and pleas for mercy, bleak and despairing.

The view drew closer and closer, until the face of the boy on the floor finally came into sight.

"Wen Yanyu!"

Fu Hanchuan's pupils trembled, and he jolted awake.

The others drinking and chatting nearby jumped.

"Whoa, what's wrong?" Shen Huainan's hand shook, spilling more than half the liquor in his glass. "Has Wen Yanyu pestered you into getting sick?"

The soothing music and smell of alcohol in the private room assaulted his nerves. Feeling gradually returned to the numb half of his body.

Fu Hanchuan's heart raced, his mind blank. Fear completely overtook his cold features.

"Was that Wen Yanyu you just shouted?" Thinking of their relationship over the past two years and the phone call he had received, Wan Haihui raised an eyebrow and teased, "You haven't fallen for him, have you? If you like him, just say yes already. Why drag it out?"

Still shaken by the nightmare, Fu Hanchuan instinctively frowned and retorted, "I don't like men."

Seeing how Fu Hanchuan looked as though he had just had a nightmare, the others exchanged glances, amusement in all their eyes.

Shen Huainan chuckled.

"Come on, Hanchuan. Wen Yanyu's actually pretty good-looking, and he nearly died for you. Don't be so heartless."

Wen Yanyu had publicly declared his love several times, and though repeatedly rejected, he only grew more determined with every setback. In all these years, this was the first time they had seen Fu Hanchuan at a loss over someone, let alone this flustered.

As his mischievous friends, they could never outdo him in their careers. Now that they had finally found something that got the better of him, of course they had to tease him properly.

It was just a nightmare.

Fu Hanchuan closed his eyes and pressed his temples. Cold sweat had long since soaked his back, leaving his shirt clinging uncomfortably to his skin.

Hearing his friend's words, Fu Hanchuan's face filled with irritation. "Not a chance. Don't mention his name in front of me again. It's disgusting."

Shen Huainan laughed. "How heartless."

Fu Hanchuan put on his coat and rose to leave.

Gu Fengyao narrowed his smiling eyes and suddenly joked, "If you really don't like him, how about letting me have some fun with him? His looks are pretty much my type. It'd take a problem off your hands, too."

Fu Hanchuan stopped abruptly just as he reached the door. The image of Wen Yanyu breaking down and begging for mercy in his dream resurfaced before his eyes.

It felt as though a fire were raging inside his heart.

His agitation ignited in an instant.

"Gu Fengyao." His expression darkened, and his hoarse voice abruptly grew forceful, burning with anger. "Wen Yanyu is a person, not something for you to play with."

"Stay away from him. Don't make such vile jokes with me."

Gu Fengyao raised an eyebrow in surprise.

Sensing something was off with Fu Hanchuan's mood, Shen Huainan tapped his glass, signaling for Gu Fengyao to stop.

The door slammed shut, and Fu Hanchuan disappeared from view.

Shen Huainan and Gu Fengyao looked at each other.

"What was that about?"

"Has work finally driven him crazy?"

"Tsk, how did those two end up like this? Before, they were clearly..."

"Enough. Just drink."

Wan Haihui had taken in every expression on Fu Hanchuan's face. He silently took a sip of his drink with a smile.

Early the next morning, Wen Yanyu was awakened by piercing pain and the ringing of his phone.

The bathwater had gone completely cold.

His phone vibrated frantically on the edge of the tub. His expression unchanged, Wen Yanyu raised a hand to wipe away the blood trickling from his nose and leaned back in the tub for a long while to recover.

Only then did he pick up his phone and gently tap the answer button.

When the call connected, the woman on the other end choked back a sob before speaking in a trembling voice. "Yanyu... how are you feeling?"

Wen Yanyu rinsed the blood off his hand and turned on the speakerphone. "Sister Lan, don't worry. I'm fine now."

"You foolish boy, how could you? Even if he doesn't like you, you can't do something so foolish." There was the sound of tissues being pulled out on the other end, as though she were wiping away tears.

"All Fu Hanchuan did was help you a few times. How did you fall for him so badly? You're still young. You'll meet so many more people. Don't-don't do anything foolish. You haven't even attended my wedding yet. Didn't you say you'd be my future child's godfather?"

The woman on the other end sobbed.

Wen Yanyu felt helpless.

After the plot had taken control of him and forced him into the entertainment industry, his agency had assigned Li Lan as his manager. He was the first person she had managed, and they were close in age. Knowing he had no parents, Li Lan had always taken care of him and doted on him like a younger brother.

Li Lan knew nothing about what had happened to him. She only thought he had made those public declarations of love because he liked Fu Hanchuan. Though the internet was open-minded, public acceptance of same-sex relationships was low.

He was also a public figure, so this had a major impact. She had urged him countless times not to destroy his future, but none of it had worked.

"Sister Lan, don't worry. I don't like Fu Hanchuan, and I won't keep pursuing him."

"Don't lie to me. This time, you even..."

He had swallowed pills in the mountains. If a few female college students out exploring hadn't found him, there would have been no chance of surviving in that remote wilderness after taking those pills.

Doing something like that in the deserted mountains clearly meant he had been determined to die. Li Lan couldn't hold back another sob.

Her feelings toward Wen Yanyu were complicated. He was the first newcomer she had managed. She had watched him shoot to fame, watched him become beloved by so many people, then watched him fixate on someone he shouldn't have fallen for and nearly lose his life.

She knew she shouldn't feel so much for an artist she managed, but Wen Yanyu, who called her his big sister every day, who was both fragile and strong, was ultimately different in her eyes.

Everyone outside said Wen Yanyu was trying to climb the social ladder or gain attention, but she knew that wasn't true. He had donated almost all the money he had earned over the past two years, keeping only a little for living expenses.

She couldn't understand why Wen Yanyu forced himself to stay in this industry when he clearly disliked it, when his eyes were full of pain, when he wanted neither fans' adoration and affection nor money.

Wen Yanyu said gently, "Really, Sister Lan. I've come to terms with it. I signed a five-year contract with the agency back then, and there are still a little over two years left, right? I want to earn some money over those remaining two years, then leave the industry and live a good life."

Li Lan asked, "Do you mean that?"

"Yes, I've already thought it through." Wen Yanyu chuckled softly. "Don't worry about me. I really have come to terms with it. I still have to attend your wedding as part of your family."

"I'm planning to save up and buy a little courtyard home in the countryside, grow flowers, and retire. Could you help me look for some work I can take? I haven't saved much at all."

Li Lan choked back a sob and wiped away her tears. "All right. Get some proper rest for a few days. I'll look for new work for you and send it over when I find something."

"Okay."

The call ended.

Wen Yanyu changed his clothes and stood in front of the mirror, his gaze slowly traveling upward. The face in the mirror was almost sickly pale, the red mole at the outer corner of his eye seemingly its only color.

His peach-blossom eyes, which should have been tender and amorous, were instead filled with weariness that would not fade. His jet-black irises were also slowly losing their color at a rate imperceptible to the naked eye.

Wen Yanyu sighed softly and touched his hair, which had almost turned completely white, his expression helpless.

When I find time to dye it, I might as well get it cut short, too.