Half-human, half-ghost pieces of trash

"Beeeeep-"

In the private hospital room, the line on the vital signs monitor went flat.

"It's all my fault. If I'd been more careful driving, I wouldn't have hit Xie Yuan."

"Yueyue, this isn't your fault. He died of his own illness."

"But..."

"No buts. You're just too kind."

With noisy voices filling his ears, the corpse on the bed suddenly sat up and snapped, "Shut up, all of you! You're so damn noisy!"

The entire room fell silent. Even the monitor was so frightened that it returned to normal.

"Aaah! The corpse came back to life!"

A man and a woman screamed at the same time, and two figures scrambled out of the room.

After sitting there in a daze and taking a moment to process things, Xie Yuan finally understood what had happened.

He had died, then come back to life. He had also awakened memories of his previous life as a demonic cultivator and learned that he was now a Villainous Cannon Fodder character in a book.

Cannon fodder who died less than a chapter after his first appearance.

After looking through everything, Xie Yuan understood the whole story.

It turned out this was a novel.

In this life, his name was also Xie Yuan. He was a not particularly pitiful child whose parents had died early and who had been raised by his older brother and sister.

The male lead was engaged to his sister.

After learning that the male and female leads were publicly flaunting their affection, he had gone to reason with the female lead.

The female lead happened to be filming a celebrity documentary that was livestreamed online, so the entire internet saw him "reasoning" with her.

The female lead was a scheming fake innocent. Apart from losing both parents, his self in this life had been well protected by his eldest sister and second brother.

How could an idiot like him, who had never taken a beating from society, stand a chance against a veteran schemer like the female lead? He had left in resentment. The female lead, blind to the road and looking at her phone instead, had hit him.

He had flown several meters. His head wasn't cracked, his arms weren't broken, and his legs still worked fine, but a palm-length wound on his foot wouldn't stop bleeding.

With the livestream running, the female lead hadn't dared flee the scene and had taken him to the hospital. She had also sent his self in the book straight to the afterlife.

He had suddenly developed acute leukemia, with impaired clotting that left his wound bleeding uncontrollably, and he had a rare blood type to boot. The hospital hadn't had enough blood in reserve, and his self in the book had bled to death.

When the King of Hell wanted you dead, who cared whether it made sense? Just die first.

The damned thing was that, on his deathbed, his self in the book had suddenly been overcome with kindness, forgiven the female lead, and even left her his entire inheritance.

In the original novel, the inheritance he had left behind had catapulted the female lead from a third-tier actress from the countryside to a wealthy woman worth over a hundred million. She had overcome the status gap between herself and the male lead, and they had become a couple envied by everyone online.

In the book, his sister had repeatedly interfered with the Male and Female Leads' relationship and framed the female lead multiple times. In the end, the male lead had plotted to have her violated, disfigured, and sold to a remote mountain village. Unwilling to endure the humiliation, she had killed herself by jumping off a cliff.

His brother was a doormat for the female lead's best friend, who led him around by the nose every day, as though afraid he wouldn't lower his head to graze.

After his death in the book, his brother had wanted revenge. But because the female lead's best friend had stolen his business proposal, he had lost everything and ended up tens of billions in debt, then been beaten to death in prison.

"Bullshit."

"You couldn't write a novel this full of mental garbage without drinking hundreds of pounds of human waste."

Once he had sorted everything out, the doctor and the Male and Female Leads finally arrived.

"It's truly a miracle. The bleeding has stopped. Just take good care of yourself from now on and avoid injuries."

After giving his instructions, the doctor left.

Xie Yuan sized up the Male and Female Leads.

The man looked superficially respectable, with an unremarkable face.

The woman was incredibly delicate, comparable to Lin Daiyu, as though a gust of wind could knock her over. Unfortunately, she didn't have even half of Lin Daiyu's beauty.

Conclusion: two half-human, half-ghost pieces of trash with something wrong with their brains!

[A heart rivaling the deadliest poison has been detected in the host. Binding the wicked system.]

A voice appeared in Xie Yuan's mind.

Thanks for the compliment.

He calmly acknowledged it inwardly, then paid no further attention to that so-called wicked system.

"Xie Yuan, I'm so glad you're still alive."

"If anything had happened to you, I wouldn't have known what to do."

That tone alone told Xie Yuan who this dumbass was.

"A life for a life. I'm not asking much. Just join me in the grave."

His opening words went straight for the kill.

Seeing Su Wanyue look as though she had eaten shit left Xie Yuan immensely satisfied.

"How can you be so vicious?"

"You were the one who wasn't careful and got hit by a car. How can you have the nerve to blame Yueyue?"

"If Yueyue hadn't been kind enough to bring you to the hospital, you'd probably be dead out there by now."

Xie Yuan looked up. The male lead, Gu Yanzhou, wore an accusing expression, as though Xie Yuan had committed some heinous crime.

I really want to crush him to death.

[Host, you mustn't. In this world, murder is punishable by death.]

If I can't crush him to death, beating him up works too.

Xie Yuan sprang up from the bed, raised his hand, and delivered a massive slap to Gu Yanzhou's face.

"You sure know how to run your fucking mouth."

"If you don't want those eyes, I can poke them out for you."

"Was my brain starved of oxygen, were my limbs deformed, or was I infested with dozens of parasites that I'd be stupid enough to run into a car myself?"

"She didn't have her eyes on the road and was playing with her phone. If she could see someone in front of her, eighteen generations of her ancestors would've jumped out to cheer."

Gu Yanzhou pointed at him furiously. "You..."

"You what?" Xie Yuan slapped his hand away. "If you don't use your brain, donate it. If you don't want your hands, chop them off and feed them to the dogs."

"I..."

Xie Yuan swung his hand back and slapped him again. "I what?"

"If you don't know how to talk, crawl back into your mother's womb and get remade."

Su Wanyue's soft, fragile voice reached his ears. "Xie Yuan, I really didn't mean to. I understand that you blame me. But Yanzhou is innocent. How could you hit him?"

"Oh, I only hit him and forgot about you." Xie Yuan jumped off the bed and lashed out with two vicious slaps.

"Two slaps each. Perfectly fair."

"See how well I treat you? I even made sure you matched when you got slapped."

Gu Yanzhou was beside himself with rage. "Xie Yuan!"

"What are you yelling for? Think you're the only one with a loud voice?" Xie Yuan grabbed a trash can and shoved it over his head, then clapped his hands in satisfaction.

"Can trash shut your mouth?"

Gu Yanzhou fumbled to pull the trash can off his head. "You..."

"What about me?" Xie Yuan raised his hand.

He backed away two steps, staring fixedly at Xie Yuan's hand for fear of being slapped again.

"You're unreasonable!" Gu Yanzhou took Su Wanyue's hand to leave. "Yueyue, let's go."

"Go where?" Xie Yuan folded his arms across his chest. "Did I give you permission to leave?"

Gu Yanzhou turned around, his face full of anger. "What do you want?"

Xie Yuan counted on his fingers. "Medical expenses, emotional distress compensation, nutritional expenses, psychological comfort fees, plus a fee for not being able to go home. Ten million in total. Pay up, then you can get lost."

"What?!" Su Wanyue went deathly pale and clutched Gu Yanzhou tightly with both hands.

Although she was a third-tier celebrity, she came from the countryside and didn't have that kind of money.

Gu Yanzhou's face filled with concern. "Don't worry, Yueyue. I won't let Xie Yuan bully you."

When he turned back, his face was furious. "Xie Yuan, is there something wrong with your brain?"

"I've never even heard of those fees. You got hit by a car yourself. What does that have to do with Yueyue?"

Xie Yuan took out his phone. "If you won't pay, I'll have your sweetheart spend a few days in detention."

"I'd actually rather she spent a few days there than get the money."

As he spoke, he began dialing.

Gu Yanzhou reached out to snatch the phone.

Xie Yuan turned sideways and backed away a few steps. "Make one more move, and I'll have her stay a few extra days."

Seeing him enter the final digit, Gu Yanzhou hastily shouted, "Don't!"

"We'll pay."

Xie Yuan deleted the number and pulled up his payment QR code. "That'll be ten million. Remember to pay the tax. Put this in the payment note: voluntarily paying Xie Yuan ten million in car accident compensation on Su Wanyue's behalf."

"Fine!" Gu Yanzhou gritted his teeth and transferred ten million to him.

After checking the amount and the note, Xie Yuan waved a hand. "Get lost."

The two left in a sorry state. Xie Yuan had won a complete victory.

The camera crew, which had remained quiet all this time, hurried after them.

Lying back on the hospital bed, Xie Yuan summoned the system that had been making noise in his head nonstop.