The Impala's tires crunched over gravel. The car smelled of disinfectant and the faint alcohol on Dean. His right shoulder was bandaged, and he held the wheel with one hand while AC/DC shook the windows. Sam leaned back in the passenger seat, the gauze still on his arm, scrolling through case emails on his phone with an increasingly deep frown. In the back, Bai Haorui sat cross-legged, meditating and rolling the Five Emperor Coins between his fingers. He had only just managed to settle his mind when Dean's heavy metal nearly sent him into qi deviation.
"Could you turn that down a little?" Bai Haorui opened his eyes and pocketed the Five Emperor Coins. "My damn Heart-Clearing Mantra is turning into a rock remix."
Dean glanced in the rearview mirror and grinned. "Quit being such a fussy bitch. It's called atmosphere, get it?"
Without looking up, Sam held out his phone. "Stop arguing and look at this-Hampton Town. A college professor working late was scared to death by a 'rotting female student.' Autopsy says cardiac arrest. Two college students claim aliens abducted them, and they have brands drawn on them in marker. The municipal employee's story is even worse. He says a giant alligator in the sewer nearly swallowed him."
Dean leaned over with a cigarette between his lips, skimmed it, and snorted. "What the hell is this? Weekly World News runs more believable headlines. A rotting female student? Maybe the professor scared himself to death over his own guilty conscience."
Bai Haorui straightened. The Five Emperor Coins jumped out on their own, turned halfway around in his palm, and gave off a faint white glow. "No yin energy." He rubbed his chin and yawned. "But there's this... really rambunctious energy, like a kid who's stolen candy. Let's check the university first. We can reminisce about those college years we never finished."
Police tape stretched across the front of a Hampton University teaching building. The professor's office looked as though a typhoon had swept through it. Student files lay open on his desk, crooked Xs covering the girls' photographs.
Bai Haorui crouched where the professor had fallen and pressed the Five Emperor Coins to the floor. The copper coins turned halfway, stopped, and trembled lightly. "No corpse energy, no baleful energy. Just some psychic energy with a hallucinatory feel." He stood and picked up the sticky note, waving it. "This professor had a guilty conscience. He was scared to death."
Sam leafed through the files, frowning deeply. "Was this professor harassing female students? Looks like the illusion he fell under could hit a person's psychological weak spots precisely."
Dean leaned against the doorframe, arms folded, and grinned. "Whatever it is, we find it and kill it!"
The three next visited the two students who claimed aliens had abducted them. Both boys huddled on their dorm beds, gesturing shakily. One said, "The spaceship had a cheeseburger vending machine. The aliens even handed us ketchup." The other added, "The probes were made of straws. They tickled when they poked us. Didn't hurt at all."
Sam rolled his eyes as he took notes, nearly driving his pen through the paper. "That story's full of holes. Been watching too much sci-fi?"
Dean clapped one boy on the shoulder with a wicked grin. "Kid, next time you make up a story, memorize the spaceship's menu first. Like whether aliens like fries, or want onions."
Their final stop was a sewer entrance. The municipal employee crouched beside the road, pointing at the manhole cover and shouting, his face white. "There really was an alligator! Bigger than a truck! Wearing sunglasses! Eating fries! It even flashed me a peace sign!"
Bai Haorui took out a Clear Heart Talisman, dabbed it with his own spit, and slapped it onto the employee's forehead. The paper glowed red. The man blinked. "I think... I was dreaming! I also dreamed I had a hot dog eating contest with the alligator. I lost!"
Bai Haorui retrieved the talisman and wiped the spit off his hand. "Definitely illusions," he told the brothers. "They target people's guilty consciences and fears. Not a demon, not a ghost. Just someone who likes causing trouble. Not much real malice."
Behind a large tree on the street corner, a man in a janitor's uniform leaned against the trunk, chocolate between his lips. Watching the three walk away, he curled his mouth into a mocking smile. His fingertips moved, and a roadside trash can suddenly tipped over by itself, spilling a clattering heap of cans.
Dean jumped and glared over his shoulder. "Who did that?!"
Bai Haorui shrugged. "See? He's already saying hello."
The three checked into the town's motel. The room was pitifully small, its two beds crowded together with barely enough room for a suitcase between them. Sam stayed up researching. After driving all day, Dean fell asleep the moment his head hit the pillow. Bai Haorui had just sat cross-legged when Dean's snores gave him a pounding headache.
In the middle of the night, croaking woke Dean.
He climbed up groggily, looked out the window, and then-
"Fuck-!"
Dean rushed downstairs to the parking space like a gust of wind.
"Who the hell did this!!!"
His roar tore through the night, startling sparrows out of the trees.
Sam and Bai Haorui woke and rushed outside. One look nearly made them burst out laughing.
Dean's precious Impala had been painted every color imaginable. Bright pink lettering across its body read "Dean is an idiot," "Dean's cooking tastes worse than shit," and "You've disgraced the entire Winchester family." All four tires had been deflated, flat as empty balloons. The seats were piled with croaking frogs, rubber chickens, and colorful chicken feathers. When he opened the door, frogs sprang everywhere while the rubber chickens shrieked in succession.
Dean's face was thunderous, his hair standing on end like a cat with its fur bristling. He charged up to Sam, grabbed his collar, and roared, "Was this you?! Who else knows my cooking sucks?!"
Sam's collar hung crooked in Dean's grip. He looked utterly bewildered. "I spent all night researching! What's wrong with you?!"
"If not you, then who?!" Dean's eyes reddened. "My car! My baby!"
They argued until their faces and necks were red, spittle flying. Bai Haorui leaned against the doorframe, rubbing his eyes and yawning. The frogs and rubber chickens bouncing around the ground were giving him a headache. "Can you stop?" His voice was hoarse and heavy with sleep. "I'm exhausted. Keep arguing and I'll sprinkle Insect-Attracting Powder on you. You can see what it's like to get bitten into steamed buns by mosquitoes."
Sam and Dean froze, then both looked at the frogs littering the ground. It suddenly clicked-this had to be that Trickster's doing.
The next day, Sam went to the library to research. The moment he entered, the older woman at the desk rushed over, pointing at his bag and shouting, "Thief! You stole the exam answers!"
Students crowded around. Sam had no way to defend himself. The librarian opened his bag, and a stack of papers labeled "Final Exam Answers" really had appeared inside out of nowhere. His face flushed with anger. He knew this was another of that Trickster's pranks.
He returned to the motel seething and found Dean crouched on the ground cleaning the car. No matter how much he scrubbed, the bright pink paint refused to come off. Sam's anger erupted, and he forgot there was a Trickster causing trouble. "Is this you getting back at me?! Dean! Are you really that petty?!"
Dean flared up too, throwing down his rag. "I've been scrubbing this car for hours! You think I'm like you, spending all day pretending to be smart with your books when you can't even see through an illusion?!"
They started arguing again, so loudly that the other guests came outside.
Unable to watch any longer, Bai Haorui took out two Clear Heart Talismans, strode over, and slapped one onto each forehead. The papers glowed red. As though someone had dumped cold water over them, the brothers instantly calmed down. They exchanged embarrassed looks.
Bai Haorui pointed at the coffee cup on the table-Dean had secretly added three sugar cubes to Sam's coffee, and they had not fully dissolved. "Dean, you added that sugar." He then pointed at the answer sheets in Sam's bag. "You already realized Dean didn't do it, but the moment you saw him, you wanted to lash out. Think carefully. Does that seem right?"
Dean rubbed the back of his head and coughed. "I don't know what happened. As soon as I saw Sam, I thought he was the bastard who did it, and I wanted to fight."
Sam sighed and threw the answer sheets into the trash. "Sorry. I didn't control myself."
On a rooftop at the street corner, Trickster watched them with chocolate between his lips. He clicked his tongue, a little disappointed. "Boring. Calmed down that fast? Guess I need to spice things up."
Just as the three packed their bags to drive to Bobby's for help and a little rest and recovery, Trickster unleashed a barrage of pranks that left all three questioning their lives.
Dean was first. He had just slung his backpack over his shoulder when the back of his neck itched. He reached back and touched something sticky. Looking down, he found his palm covered in pink sequins. A glance in the mirror showed that his hair had been sprayed fluorescent green, with a squeaking duck hair clip attached to the top. Worse still, all his clothes had been replaced with poufy dresses, their lace trim studded with rhinestones and the large words "I am an idiot" printed across them.
"Fuck!" Dean nearly smashed the mirror. Tugging at his fluorescent green hair, he stamped his feet. "That bastard! I'm going to skin him!"
Sam came next. Crouching on the floor to pack the hunter's journal, he suddenly noticed something wrong with his glasses. Everything looked distorted. He took them off and discovered the lenses had become funhouse mirrors. Even his own face looked like an inflated balloon. Furious, he threw them onto the table and turned to get his phone, only to find cartoon stickers plastered over its screen and every name in his contacts changed. Bobby was now "Stinky Old Man," Dean was "Fluorescent Green Idiot," and Sam himself was "Funhouse-Mirror Nerd." Worse, his freshly combed hair had turned rainbow-colored. Whenever he lowered his head, sparkling glitter fell from his bangs.
Sam stared at his reflection, his face thunderous, and collapsed onto the bed in despair. "I'd rather have Meg possess me again than go through this."
Bai Haorui was the last victim. Sitting cross-legged on the bed, he was trying to gather his concentration to draw some Clear Heart Talismans. But when he reached into his pocket, the Five Emperor Coins had all become colorful jelly beans. A bite proved them cloyingly sweet. Someone had covered his clothes in cartoon figures drawn in marker, with "Idiots love licking toads" written across the back. Furious, he yanked the clothes off to change, but the moment he stood, he stepped on a banana peel. He landed flat on his back with a smack, hitting the back of his head on the bed frame. When he staggered up, dizzy, a large patch of dust clung to his face, making him look like a groundhog fresh from the dirt. Another glance in the mirror revealed gelled hair standing straight up, piercing the heavens. Every sway seemed to come with its own soundtrack: "Your betrayal has hurt me so deeply~ I don't know if I should take things so seriously~"
"I... I swear I'll make him pay!" With dust on his face and his hair exploding upward, Bai Haorui pointed angrily at the ceiling and forced the words through his teeth.
Hidden in the motel's ventilation duct, Trickster bit into his chocolate and slapped his thigh with laughter, nearly laughing himself to tears. Watching the chaos in their room, he twitched his fingertips again. The Impala's wipers suddenly began swinging wildly as "Baby Shark" played.
Hearing the song, the three rushed to the parking lot. They looked at one another and burst out laughing.
In the end, Dean drove in a poufy dress with fluorescent green hair, grinding his teeth. Sam held the funhouse mirrors, his hair rainbow-colored, and listlessly leafed through the hunter's journal. Bai Haorui wore clothes covered in cartoon figures, dust on his face and hair long enough to pierce the roof. He pinched the jelly-bean Five Emperor Coins between his fingers, huffing with anger.
The Impala wobbled all the way toward Bobby's house, its wipers still flailing. The children's song followed them the entire way, drawing looks and pointing fingers from pedestrians.
When the three reached Bobby's house, the setting sun was staining the sky orange-red. Bobby sat cleaning a gun on the porch, a beer bottle by his feet. He looked up at the sound of the car and sprayed out the beer in his mouth.
"Pfft!" Bobby pointed at them, laughing so hard he could not straighten up. "Did you three escape from a circus?! Dean, that fluorescent green hair and poufy dress are the look of the year! Sam, are you taking that rainbow hair to a parade? And you, kid"-he pointed at Bai Haorui's hair-"planning on hunting demons with that?"
Dean tugged at his dress's lace trim, his face scarlet. "Quit fucking laughing! That bastard did this!"
He spilled everything-the town's absurd cases, the arguments they had been goaded into, and the recent barrage of pranks-talking as fast as a machine gun. Sam lowered the funhouse mirrors, revealing helpless eyes, and added, "And all this disruption has left us with no desire to even go out and deal with him."
Once Bobby had finished laughing, he wiped tears from his eyes and fetched a yellowed hunter's journal from inside. He turned to a page and pointed at an illustration of a man in a jester's hat wearing an eminently punchable grin. "This is Trickster, the god of mischief. He gets his kicks causing chaos." Bobby drank some beer. "A creature out of mythology. His illusions can become real however he likes. You fell for them because you were bottling up anger, and he found an opening."
Bai Haorui leaned closer, his eyes lighting up as he forgot the dust on his face and the hair poking Bobby in the face. "In our mythology, even spirits that love pranks teach people something when they play tricks. They punish evil and reward good, or enlighten people. This guy just does it for fun. Pretty interesting."
Bobby snorted and tossed them several bottles of holy water and a few wooden stakes soaked in it. "Interesting? He's been running circles around you, and you think he's interesting? That professor had a guilty conscience, and didn't he get scared to death? This guy's just having fun. He doesn't care much whether ordinary people live or die. This holy water and these stakes can ward off his illusions. Together with your Clear Heart Talismans, they should keep your minds steady."
Bai Haorui caught the holy water. His eyes shifted as he suddenly remembered the jelly-bean Five Emperor Coins in his pocket. He immediately took out cinnabar and used the fire at Bobby's stove to refine the jelly beans back into copper coins, chanting, "Cinnabar guides righteous yang, Five Emperors restore spiritual light. Break illusion and quell disorder, let the Dao suppress absurdity."
Bobby glanced at him, watching his hair sway with each line of the chant. He said nothing, but the corners of his mouth quietly lifted.
Dean scratched his fluorescent green hair, looked at Sam, and grinned. "So... what now?"
Sam smiled, a sly gleam in his eyes. "What else? Put on a show and lure him out."
Bai Haorui pocketed the refined Five Emperor Coins and took out two blank talisman papers, drawing an Itching Talisman and a Reversal Talisman. Finally, he produced a packet of freshly mixed powder and waved it. "I'll set up a Clear Heart Array so his illusions can't interfere with your performance. I've upgraded the Insect-Attracting Powder to Bird-Attracting Powder. Add these two talismans, and he'll get more than he bargained for."
Sunlight warmed Hampton Town's central square. Pigeons pecked at breadcrumbs beside the fountain.
Dean stood alone beside the fountain, yelling at empty air with acting so overblown it could have won an Oscar. "Sam! You damn nerd! I'm never teaming up with you again!" He kicked over a trash can, sending cans rolling everywhere. "All you ever do is research! Research! I'm sick of it!"
Wearing Invisibility Talismans, Bai Haorui and Sam hid in the café on the corner, watching Dean's performance through its windows. Bai Haorui had already drawn Clear Heart Talismans with his blood essence, buried the Five Emperor Coins at the square's four corners, and stuck talisman papers onto streetlights to form an invisible Clear Heart Array. "The Clear Heart Talismans ward off illusions," he whispered. "Once Trickster appears, I'll throw Insect-Attracting Powder to distract him, then look for a chance to stick on the talismans."
Holding back laughter, Sam nodded. "Don't worry."
Sure enough, before long, a man in a janitor's uniform approached, chocolate between his lips. He patted Dean's shoulder with an innocent smile. "Hey, buddy. No need to get so worked up."
It was Trickster.
Dean turned, feigning surprise, his eyes widening. "Who are you?"
Trickster chewed his chocolate and pointed at the distant Impala. "Just a janitor passing through. But I saw your little brother sneak some frogs and rubber chickens into your car."
Dean pretended to fly into a rage, his face reddening, and turned to leave. "I'm going to kill him! That bastard!"
Seeing him take the bait, Trickster's eyes lit up. His fingertips moved, instantly creating a host of illusions. A group of curvy blond beauties in bikinis surrounded Dean, holding rubber chickens and winking at him. In the distance, a chainsaw-wielding maniac appeared. His chainsaw was a toy playing "Happy Birthday," and he charged toward them, roaring. More absurdly still, the fountain water suddenly turned into bubbling chocolate sauce.
Dean nearly lost himself, staring fixedly at the beauties. The Clear Heart Talisman on his chest suddenly grew hot, burning him enough to make him jolt. Instantly clearheaded, he cursed inwardly, Almost fell for it!
Just then, Bai Haorui rushed out from the corner and flung Insect-Attracting Powder at Trickster. As the powder scattered, all kinds of little insects flew out and circled him.
"Holy shit!" Trickster cried, frantically swatting at the insects and dropping his chocolate. "You're cheating! Can't play fair?! These bugs can maneuver?!"
While he was scrambling, Bai Haorui flicked his wrist, sending the Itching Talisman between his fingers straight onto the back of Trickster's neck.
The next second, Trickster froze, then began scratching furiously all over. He stamped his feet from the itching, even losing his janitor's cap. "It itches like hell! What did you do?!"
Dean seized his chance, drew a holy-water-soaked wooden stake, and rushed in to drive it hard into Trickster's chest.
As the stake pierced him, Trickster swayed. Instead of falling, he roared, golden light flashing at his fingertips as he tried to turn into a beautiful woman to confuse the two. But when the light faded, he had not become a beauty. He had become a clown in a poufy dress with fluorescent green hair and large red circles painted on his face, exactly like Dean's earlier look!
"What the hell is this?!" Trickster stared at his skirt, nearly crying. He reached up to touch his hair, and the feel of the fluorescent green strands made him scream in despair. "My hair!"
Hiding in the café doorway, Sam shook with suppressed laughter, nearly flinging away the hunter's journal in his hand.
Bai Haorui stood with his arms folded, smiling slyly. "This humble Daoist's Reversal Talisman specializes in dealing with shapeshifters like you. Whatever look you most want to ridicule gets slapped onto you, unchanged."
Dean looked at Loki's outfit and slapped his thigh with laughter. "Holy shit! Isn't that my dress from last time? Looks better on you! That fluorescent green is perfect for you!"
Trickster flushed with anger and tried to cast a spell in retaliation, but the Itching Talisman on his neck was still working. The more he scratched, the worse it itched. He could not concentrate at all. Furious, he tried to flee, but Bai Haorui was ready and scattered a handful of Bird-Attracting Powder.
As the powder spread, every pigeon in the square flocked toward him. They swarmed around Trickster, pecking relentlessly at his dress and fighting over the chocolate he had dropped.
"Aaah! Get away!" Trickster scurried about with his arms over his head as the pigeons pecked him. His fluorescent green hair flew in the wind, his clown makeup smeared, and he looked like a madman fresh from a circus escape.
Still unsatisfied, Bai Haorui took out an ink line and flicked his finger, sending it winding precisely around him.
"Freeze!"
Trickster instantly froze in place, helpless to do anything but watch the pigeons eat every last bit of his chocolate and shit on his dress.
"You!" Trickster's eyes reddened with anger, but he could not move.
Bai Haorui crouched and patted his shoulder, smiling innocently. "Uncle said we should have a little spar. Besides, this is called giving someone a taste of their own medicine. If you like playing, don't be a sore loser."
He paused, then added, "Oh, and that Itching Talisman won't wear off for three hours. As for the Reversal Talisman, who knows when that'll stop working. Enjoy yourself, god of mischief."
Dean walked over, took out his phone, and snapped picture after picture of Trickster, grinning from ear to ear. "I'm making this my phone wallpaper! Bobby's gotta see this!"
Just then, Trickster burst out laughing-not furiously, but with sheer delight. "Hahahaha! Fun! That was so much fun!"
His body slowly grew transparent, his laughter drifting farther away. "You three youngsters! We'll meet again!"
All that remained on the ground was a piece of pigeon-pecked chocolate and a sticky note that read, "Next time we meet, it won't be this easy~"
The absurd incidents in Hampton Town all stopped. The professor's office was cleaned up, the two students never mentioned alien abduction again, and the municipal employee returned to normal, telling everyone he met about a strange dream involving an alligator.
Dean crouched in the parking lot, scrubbing the Impala for ages, but faint traces of bright pink paint remained. Still, he hummed, in a good mood. "Next time I see that bastard, I'm stealing all his chocolate. Let him see what it's like to have no candy."
Sam leaned against the car door, leafing through the hunter's journal, and smiled. "You? The guy who jumped at some frogs?"
Bai Haorui held the pecked chocolate up to the sunlight. A faint trace of mythological energy still lingered on it. "Yin and yang give rise to each other. Order and chaos coexist." He pocketed the chocolate. "He represents chaos, and we represent order. Without chaos, order loses its meaning. Without order, chaos leads to destruction. He's actually a pretty good point of reference."
The three drove out of Hampton Town. The Impala's tires crunched over gravel, and AC/DC filled the car again. Dean's fluorescent green hair still had not washed out. Glitter still fell from Sam's rainbow bangs. The cartoon figures on Bai Haorui's clothes would not wash off, but he did not care at all. Rolling the Five Emperor Coins between his fingers, he hummed the tune of "Cowboy on the Run."
On a distant hillside, Trickster-Loki-stood beneath the shade of a tree, watching the direction in which the Impala had disappeared. He bit into a fresh piece of chocolate, a mocking smile curling his lips.
"The game has only just begun."
Inside the Impala, Dean suddenly shouted, "Bai! Did you steal my chocolate?!"
Bai Haorui opened his eyes, looking innocent. "I don't eat sweets."
Sam chuckled. "Dean, did you forget? You ate the last piece yesterday."
Dean rubbed the back of his head and coughed. "Oh... right."