When Natsuki Subaru woke, his body trembled before anything else.
There was no scream in his throat, and his chest had not been smashed against the stone steps, but the sensation of falling still clung to his bones. His shoulder had struck the wall, his forehead had hit the edge of a step, and his body had tumbled down, his bones feeling as though they were being broken apart one section at a time, before he finally slammed into the floor.
He shot upright, his gasping instantly startling those beside the bed.
"Subaru?"
Emilia was very close, her amethyst eyes filled with worry. On the other side, Betty also raised her head, her brow furrowing.
"Why did you sit up so suddenly? You startled Betty, I suppose."
Patrasche lay beside the bed and gave a low cry.
Natsuki Subaru stared blankly at them.
Emilia, Betty, Patrasche. He could remember their names, but beyond that, there was only a blank. He did not know why he was lying here, nor why this silver-haired girl was looking at him like that.
Still less did he know why he could open his eyes again when he had clearly already fallen down the stairs and died.
Emilia reached out, meaning to touch his forehead.
Natsuki Subaru's body shrank back before anything else.
The way he flinched away was far too obvious.
Emilia's hand stopped in midair, and Betty fell silent too. The bedside suddenly went quiet. Patrasche raised her head, her glossy black eyes watching him.
"Subaru?"
Emilia softly called his name again.
Natsuki Subaru opened his mouth, but something seemed to block his throat.
He wanted to say that he had just died, that someone had pushed him from behind, that it had not been a dream. But the moment his thoughts touched on "death," an icy hand seemed to seize his heart.
I can't say it.
It was not that he did not want to say it.
He simply could not get the words out.
The feeling was all too clear. It was as though he would die if he kept speaking.
"I'm fine."
Natsuki Subaru lowered his head. His throat was terribly dry, but he still forced the corners of his mouth up.
"I just... had a nightmare."
A dream?
Even he thought that was absurd.
Could a dream hurt this much?
Just then, the light around them dimmed for an instant.
A black screen hung in midair without warning. There was no magic circle, no incantation, and no fluctuation of mana, as though someone had cut out a piece of night and hung it before their eyes.
A small line of text floated in the screen's upper-right corner.
[Can be closed.]
Emilia sprang to her feet, and Betty immediately moved in front of the bed.
"Who's there?"
There was no response.
A figure slowly emerged in the center of the screen.
The moment Natsuki Subaru saw that figure, his expression changed.
Inside the Sage's Tower, Ram stopped in the corridor and looked up at the screen that had suddenly unfolded before her. "Anastasia" stared at the figure, the expression slowly fading from her face. In the blink of an eye, she seemed like a different person, silently observing the screen.
Meili stood elsewhere.
The instant she saw the black-haired boy on the screen, her fingertips paused ever so slightly. Soon, she tilted her head as she usually did, her tone light.
[Meili: It's Big Brother Natsuki.]
Shaula's eyes, on the other hand, lit up at once, as though she had spotted something entertaining.
[Shaula: Master! It's Master!]
Natsuki Subaru froze for a moment.
Almost simultaneously, the same words appeared on the screen in front of Emilia.
Betty frowned.
"Are these... things the others are saying?"
Several screens appeared simultaneously in different parts of the Sage's Tower. They did not gather everyone together or explain why; they simply hung there. Although the upper-right corner clearly said they could be closed, after seeing the person in the image, no one immediately reached out.
More text appeared on the screen.
[Observation commencing.] [Current timeline: Sage's Tower.] [Observation subject: Natsuki Subaru.] [Playback content: Events that have already occurred, and possible future branches.] [A question-and-answer session will begin after this observation.] [Those who answer correctly may receive a reward.]
Emilia's brow furrowed even more tightly as she looked at the word "reward."
"A reward? What does that mean...?"
The screen did not answer.
The image lit up.
In the image, Natsuki Subaru supported himself against the wall as he walked forward one step at a time. Ahead of him were the stairs of the Sage's Tower.
He looked terrible, his eyes filled with wariness he could not suppress. The tower was far too quiet. His footsteps sounded against the stone stairs, one after another, making the listeners' hearts tighten.
Suddenly, a faint sound came from behind him.
The Natsuki Subaru in the image was just about to turn around when, in the next instant, he lost his balance and fell down the stairs.
"Huh?"
The sound was too brief, so brief it barely even sounded like a scream.
Stone steps, walls, and ceiling all spun through the image. His forehead struck the steps, his shoulder hit the wall, and his fingers desperately tried to catch hold of something, only to sweep through empty air.
When the final dull thud sounded, Emilia clapped a hand over her mouth.
"Subaru!"
Betty's little face had gone pale too. Although she stood right in front of the real Natsuki Subaru, she still instinctively glanced back at him.
Natsuki Subaru said nothing from the bed.
His hands pressed against the sheets, his knuckles tightening little by little.
Elsewhere, Meili stared at the tumbling image on the screen. It was as though someone had gently wiped away part of the smile on her face.
Only after that final dull thud did a line of text slowly appear in the comment area.
[Meili: ...Big Brother Natsuki?]
The image went dark for a moment.
Then Natsuki Subaru opened his eyes again.
It was the same bed, the same position. Emilia was still sitting beside the bed, Betty was still standing nearby, and Patrasche lay to one side and gave a low cry.
Even the way Emilia reached toward him was exactly the same as at the beginning.
This time, no one rushed to speak.
Emilia's lips moved.
"This is..."
Betty's voice was very soft.
"A dream?"
Ram stood before another screen, her brows drawn low. Anastasia watched Natsuki Subaru sit up in the image, resting her fingers lightly against her chin, but did not speak immediately.
The image on the screen froze, and new text appeared.
[Question-and-answer session commencing.] [Question one: What is Natsuki Subaru's ability?] [Selecting respondents.] [Natsuki Subaru.] [Anastasia Hoshin.]
Anastasia lifted her eyes slightly.
"Me?"
The screen did not respond, silently awaiting an answer.
Anastasia stared at the room that had appeared again in the image and thought for a moment.
"Judging by the outcome, Mr. Natsuki seems to have returned to the point when he woke up earlier. In that case... a prophetic dream?"
Emilia looked toward her.
Anastasia continued:
"Perhaps Mr. Natsuki saw an approaching danger while he was unconscious. That would explain why he was so frightened after waking up, because he dreamed he would die."
That answer sounded very reasonable.
[Shaula: Dreaming about danger? Master is amazing!]
Betty did not immediately object, and Ram said nothing either. Even Emilia wanted to believe that explanation for a moment.
It was a dream.
Subaru was just too frightened.
He had only seen a glimpse of some future danger.
But Natsuki Subaru sat on the bed with his head lowered, his shoulders gradually tensing.
It wasn't a dream.
He knew better than anyone that it had not been a dream.
A dream would not leave the feeling of bones shattering with him after he woke.
A dream would not let death brush right past his face.
A dream would not leave him still hearing that final dull thud of his body hitting the floor after he opened his eyes.
"No."
His voice was very quiet.
Emilia froze.
"Subaru?"
Natsuki Subaru looked at the screen, his face frighteningly pale.
"It wasn't a prophetic dream."
He clenched the sheets, each word seeming to squeeze out between his teeth.
"I died."
For an instant, the breathing beside the bed stopped.
Natsuki Subaru's voice trembled slightly, and he paid no heed to why he could suddenly say it aloud.
"I fell from there, hit my head, hit my shoulder, and in the end, I couldn't even move my fingers. I know it wasn't a dream, because I really did die."
At that point, his breathing faltered.
The thing he could not speak of seemed to press against his heart once again.
But the pain he imagined did not come.
Natsuki Subaru stared fixedly at the screen.
"After I died, I came back here."
"Only I remember."
He paused.
"My ability is Return by Death."
After the words fell, he did not release the sheets.
Those words had finally squeezed out of his throat, but his body was still shaking.
The text on the screen paused briefly, then a new line appeared.
[Natsuki Subaru answered correctly.] [Correct answer: Return by Death.]
Return by Death.
Not a prophetic dream.
Not a hallucination.
Nor had he seen the future on the verge of death.
He had died.
Then come back.
Emilia stood beside the bed, her face slowly paling. Her lips moved as though she wanted to call Subaru's name, yet feared that if her voice was too loud, it would shatter the person still sitting on the bed before her.
Betty looked toward Natsuki Subaru before she did.
"Return... by Death?"
Her voice was very quiet, so quiet that she did not sound like the usual awkward, proud Betty.
Natsuki Subaru kept his head lowered, looking at no one.
In the comment area, a long time passed before Meili's words appeared.
[Meili: You can come back after dying?]
Another while passed before the next line slowly emerged.
[Meili: Then, Big Brother... do you remember what happened before you died too?]
After those words appeared, Meili's side went quiet as well.
She did not say "amazing" again, nor did she press him with more questions. It was as though the moment those words left her mouth, she realized she had asked too quickly.
Shaula, however, had not thought that much about it.
[Shaula: Master is amazing! You can come back even after dying! That's so amazing!]
That line was far too cheerful.
So cheerful that Emilia's shoulders gave a sudden shudder.
Betty raised her head, anger entering her blue eyes for the first time.
[Betty: Shut up.]
A moment passed before a line appeared from Shaula.
[Shaula: Huh?]
Betty stared at the words on the screen, keeping her voice very low.
[Betty: That isn't amazing.]
[Betty: It means he has to die first, every single time, before he can open his eyes again.]
[Betty: Dying is very painful.]
Anastasia's words appeared.
[Anastasia: The prerequisite is indeed that he has to die once first.]
[Anastasia: And it isn't someone else dying in his place. He has to die himself.]
The smile faded completely from Meili's face.
Ram stood in the corridor without saying a word. Only then did she speak quietly, her words appearing at the bottom of everyone's screens.
[Ram: In other words, every time Barusu comes running back like a stray dog, he has to genuinely die once first.]
[Ram: Honestly, he even manages to die so miserably.]
No one answered.
The hand hanging at Ram's side slowly clenched.
It was not as though she had never seen danger or sacrifice. But this was different from being injured in battle. Death in battle at least had witnesses, a body, cries of grief, an end.
Natsuki Subaru's deaths had none of those things.
He died, the world went back, and everyone else forgot.
In the end, only he remained, waking again with that pain.
Anastasia stared at the screen, her voice growing a little quieter.
[Anastasia: If this ability can be controlled, it really is terrifying.]
[Anastasia: Information, failures, the enemy's trump cards, the locations of traps...]
[Anastasia: As long as he's willing to die, he can bring them back.]
At those words, Emilia abruptly looked toward the screen.
"Don't say that."
Her voice was not loud, but it carried a rare note of urgency.
Her words also appeared in the discussion area.
[Emilia: Don't talk about Subaru's death as though it's something to be used.]
Anastasia did not reply immediately.
Only after a moment did her words appear at the bottom of the screen.
[Anastasia: I'm sorry.]
She paused, then added another sentence.
[Anastasia: I just think that the more people know about this, the more danger Mr. Natsuki will be in.]
[Anastasia: There will always be someone who wants him to die.]
Betty's face went completely white.
Emilia's grip on Natsuki Subaru's hand suddenly tightened.
"No."
She spoke in a rush.
"I won't let Subaru do anything like that."
Natsuki Subaru's fingertips trembled slightly.
Emilia lowered her head to look at him.
But Natsuki Subaru did not look up. He only looked at his hands. Those hands were plainly still there, yet he seemed to still be lying on the cold stone steps, unable to move even a finger.
"It's not a question of whether I want to."
He suddenly spoke in a low voice.
Emilia froze.
Natsuki Subaru's voice was very hoarse.
"I don't want to die either."
After those words fell, no one could speak right away.
He did not say how much it hurt or how frightened he was.
He only said that when he died, he did not want to die either.
Betty's lips trembled. She seemed to want to call him an idiot, but her voice caught in her throat, and in the end, she could not get out a single word of reproach.
Ram briefly closed her eyes.
When she opened them again, she looked at Natsuki Subaru on the screen, her gaze already different from what it had been at the beginning.
Before, she had been suspicious of his unusual behavior, suspicious of his memory loss, and suspicious that he might be hiding some other plan.
But if this ability was real, if he truly had just died once, then all his stiffness, wariness, and concealment were no longer merely suspicious.
He was someone who had just crawled back from death, unable even to ask for help.
Anastasia was silent for a long time before suddenly letting out a soft sigh.
[Anastasia: I answered "prophetic dream" earlier because that was already absurd enough.]
The next line took a long time to appear.
[Anastasia: I never imagined the right answer would be worse.]
Natsuki Subaru did not respond.
Emilia crouched down, trying to see his expression clearly.
"Subaru..."
"Don't ask anymore."
He spoke very softly.
Emilia stopped.
Natsuki Subaru's fingers tightened slightly.
"I don't know how to explain it either."
He raised his head, his eyes frighteningly red, but he did not cry.
"All I know is that it wasn't a dream."
"It hurt."
"It really hurt."
This time, no one said "amazing" again.
Shaula's side stayed quiet for a long time before a line cautiously appeared in the discussion area.
[Shaula: Master... I'm sorry.]
The black screen hung there silently.
Those words were still there.
Return by Death.
It seemed like a miracle capable of rewriting the ending, yet looking at Natsuki Subaru's deathly pale face, no one could still regard it as a blessing.
Words appeared on the screen again.
[Distributing rewards.] [Reward one: Cognitive Obstruction: Beginner.] [Distributed.]
There was no explanation.
Those few words simply hung there silently.
Yet, for some reason, Natsuki Subaru felt the cold pressure in his chest ease a little. It did not disappear entirely; it merely let him take one more breath at last.
Immediately afterward, new words appeared.
[Reward two: The person who answered correctly receives the right to ask one question.] [Questioner: Natsuki Subaru.]
Natsuki Subaru froze.
"Me?"
The screen did not hurry him. It simply waited.
Emilia looked at him, and Betty looked at him too. Their gazes were gentle, yet they weighed on him until he could hardly breathe.
Natsuki Subaru lowered his head and looked at his hands.
These hands were his.
This body was his.
This name was his too.
But he remembered nothing.
He only knew that after leaving the convenience store, he had ended up in this godforsaken place. Everyone called him Natsuki Subaru. Everyone knew a Natsuki Subaru, but he did not know them, nor did he know the person they were worrying about.
He could not even be certain whether he had taken someone else's place.
After a long time, he finally spoke, his voice so low it was almost inaudible.
"Am I... really Natsuki Subaru?"
Emilia's breathing stopped.
Betty's small hands clenched too.
Natsuki Subaru did not look at them. He only stared at the screen, as though trying to seize an answer from that darkness.
"I haven't taken someone else's place? I'm not an impostor?"
At that point, he let out a very brief laugh.
It was an ugly laugh.
"I'm not... a fake?"
The screen remained silent for a moment, then the answer appeared.
[You are Natsuki Subaru.] [What you lost was your memory, not yourself.] [You are not a fake.]
Just a few short lines.
Yet Natsuki Subaru stared at them for a long time, his eyes slowly reddening.
Betty walked slowly to his side. She did not call him an idiot, only took hold of the hem of his clothes.
"Did you hear that?"
Natsuki Subaru did not answer.
Betty tightened her grip.
"You're not a fake."
Emilia crouched beside the bed. This time, she did not touch his forehead, only gently took his cold hand.
"Subaru, even if you don't remember right now, that's all right."
Natsuki Subaru's fingers trembled slightly.
He wanted to pull his hand back, but in the end, he did not move.
The screen went dark.